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Original poster

Four months into potty training and about to give up

156 replies

Zelda · 30/07/2006 20:10

After four months of sticker charts etc My DD (age 2 and a half) is still pooing on the floor or in her pants sometimes twice a day and weeing between once and four times a day. I should say that on a good day she will take herself to the potty do a wee and empty it into the toilet several times without any bother at all and at nursery she often doesn't wee all morning until we get home. I have never been as short tempered as i am over it at the moment and desperately don't want her to become anxious about it all. I think because I didn't make a fuss intially about poos and wees on the carpet - saying nevermind love just do it on the potty next time - she nows says to me nevermind Mummy it's alright and doesn't seem in the least bit bothered by it. Any advice please?? I am planning to break what seems to be a cardinal rule and put her back in nappies tomorrow.

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ocd · 30/07/2006 20:11

how have you don it?

have y ou used pull ups?

Pollyanna · 30/07/2006 20:14

Why did you start potty training her? did she seem ready? I am a firm believer in waiting until the child is really ready to train. My children so far have done it in 3 days. One was 2 , but my ds was nearly 3. If your dd doesn't seem ready, I would say that she should be in nappies until she is asking to be trained. I do think that if this has been going on for 4 months, it is too long.

Pollyanna · 30/07/2006 20:15

sorry that seemed really blunt - I think for your own sanity you need a break from it maybe?

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NotAnOtter · 30/07/2006 20:16

dont dont give up - my golden rules are no naff pull ups and no turning back!

Original poster
Zelda · 30/07/2006 20:37

I started potty training her because she seemed interested and keen (her younger cousin had already done it) and because the timing seemed good i.e. Spring and also thought it might be wise to try and do it before her baby sister started crawling. I used pull ups for a short while only and now just put them on for her day time sleep.

OP posts:
Original poster
Zelda · 30/07/2006 21:01

NotAnOtter - Why do you feel so strongly that I shouldn't give up for the moment? and why do you feel that pull ups are naff?

OP posts:
ocd · 30/07/2006 21:01

hmm id giver yeself a break fo a courple of months then start in mid spetemebr
coem back on ehre and ill give you s oem tips

jamiesam · 30/07/2006 21:04

I also had to take a break when training ds1 as all the wet pants were doing my head in. After a couple of weeks, we started again and cracked dry/clean days within a couple of weeks - and dry nights within only another week on top of that. I think he just wasn't ready when I started training.

aaronsmummy · 30/07/2006 21:09

I was told to leave ds2 until he is 4 as he is asd. He is now 3.5 and 6 weeks ago did it all by himself little lamb. Only 2 accidents since. They know - take your lead from your lo. There's no rush, it won;t matter when she is 30 lol.

ocd · 30/07/2006 21:09

3.5!! too late for me

jamiesam · 30/07/2006 21:12

eek - ds1 was 4 when he cracked dry days and nights... and we had been trying for ever

Original poster
Zelda · 30/07/2006 21:16

Thanks OCD I think my plan is to talk it through with DD1 tomorrow and try to come to a decision together. If she gets very upset at the idea of returning to nappies then I'll rethink but suspect she may not??

OP posts:
ocd · 30/07/2006 21:17

hmm
i dunno id stick at it and bint he pull ups altogetehr

NotAnOtter · 30/07/2006 21:18

I just believe pull ups are confusing to a child.. they send the wrong message - i have trained four - used pull ups for a fornight with number one and never again.
As for going back into nappies - progress WILL be being made even if its slow . Put towells on car seats and just try to chill.
HAVING SAID ALL THAT .... if its making YOU really unhappy - then give yourself a break for a few weeks and see what happens!

aaronsmummy · 30/07/2006 21:21

ocd - i don't think 3.5 is too late for an autistic child- my friends son was 7 (also asd)

Pollyanna · 30/07/2006 21:53

I think that you should give it a break for a while. Later in the year you will probably get very strong signs that she wants to go into pants. Ime once a baby is ready to train it will only take a few days. I would think that still having so many accidents after 4 months means she isn't really ready. I'm sure you couldperservere now, but it would probably be less stressful if you wait a bit. I also didn't do pull-ups, just straight into knickers and haven't bothered with a star chart either.

Reece · 31/07/2006 09:47

Oh zelda isn't it a difficult decision whether to put the pull-ups/nappies back on or not?!

I started another thread on this recently as I am going through the same thing. DS is 2.9 and we have been training for nearly 2 months. I was sooooo close to going back to nappies until this weekend. He was great. Its just that he could go back to having accidents again. I'm confused just like you are.

I am going to give it this week to see if he has turned a corner. What have you decided to do?

Caribbeanqueen · 31/07/2006 09:55

I gave up recently after trying for 5 months as ds was clearly not ready. I plan to start again in the next few weeks.

Reece · 01/08/2006 13:12

How are you getting on Zelda? What did you decide to do?

The last few days have gone well for us and i was soooooooooooooo close to going back to pull-ups.

Original poster
Zelda · 04/08/2006 00:31

I've had several 'look into my eyes' talks with her and discussed the options (in two and a half year old speak). She was clear that she wants to wear 'knicks' as she's a 'big girl' but has still had 1 poo and 3 wee 'accidents' in the last two days. I've relaxed a fair bit about it all and even took it in my stride when she did a huge wee at soft play today all over the mats and a good few plastic balls! (you have to laugh)But am wondering about putting a nappy on her when...if.. she poos on the carpet again so that she really understands??????

OP posts:
yorkshirepud · 04/08/2006 14:32

Started potty training ds (2 yrs and 4ths) on Monday. Have stayed in all week in vain attempt to crack it. Both of us going stir crazy - plus 5 mth baby. Was about to give up when read thread and saw how long it takes other children so think I will persevere another week. Might even walk to letterbox later. Have had wees and poos all over the place - which he hates - but hasn't told me yet when he needs to go. Do you think I should carry on or give up?

zubb · 04/08/2006 14:45

have you tried bypassing the potty and getting her a seat on the toilet (and a step)? maybe she'd take better to that as it what you do.
Just trained ds2 and he used the potty for a couple of weeks only and had accidents, as soon as he realised he could use the toilet he just takes himself to it and if he needs to sit down (easier for boys as they stand up most of the time!) he puts his 'special' seat on and climbs up.

zubb · 04/08/2006 14:48

yorkshirepud - ds2 was like that at first - would go when I asked but wouldn't initiate himself. Just keep with it and don't ask him all the time - unless you need to go out or he is squirming. I though it would take ages with him but suddenly (see message below about using the toilet rather than the potty) he cracked it.

yorkshirepud · 05/08/2006 06:39

Thanks Zubb. Will keep going with it.

FrannyandZooey · 05/08/2006 07:46

I would definitely give up for now - although she wants to wear pants it's fairly obvious she isn't ready and I don't see the point of having her in pants if she is weeing and pooing everywhere. I would try again in 6 weeks or so as cod says - 6 weeks is a long time at this age. Potty training needn't be a hassle or really take any time at all, if we didn't insist on doing it before children are properly developed enough to handle it.