Things your toddler says that fill you with dread....

[meso]

ie this morning my toddler said 'Mummy my tiara fell in the toilet but its ok, I took it out again'

Obviously said with tiara now back on her head......

I was in the kitchen the other day and overheard DS2 age 3 in the garden say 'Oh. Bad idea.'

"Can we go to soft play" is enough to fill anyone with dread!

tumble you have to tell me now, what was a bad idea? Love this age, but it does have its moments!

"Mummy, nappy"

'Oh bother...'

'Actually mummy...'

'Oh. That wasn't meant to happened!'

shudder

Quiet children followed by laughing always makes me worried.

Ok ok, I need actual stories here, please tell me mine is not the only one who sees nothing wrong with rescuing things that fall into the loo when she's meant to be doing a wee.......

dd 2...... ''oh, done mummy' meaning ' what have you done! which I say whenever she has crayoned on the Windows :)

meso let's just say it involved lots of water!

Mine is always 'maaaam, come here, quickly!' Last time I was because he had got a fire engine stuck in the toilet

I was once at a toddler cooking group when the leader asked if anyone had any allergies or medical problems a little boy from the back of the class shouted 'i have nits' his poor mum was mortified.

I remember once telling my nursery teacher I didn't eat any dinner when I got home from nursery I just got sent to bed and that I didn't have baths either....to this day I still can't imagine what possessed me to say that!

My DS used to say, 'oh dear-what's happened!' Which used to have me running!

'Mummy don't go check in the other room, you just stay there'

My DS (2 next week) has a few alarm bell phrases.

"have you? Let's have a look."
Means he's done a gigantic shit.

"I pressed the wrong button! Mummy help!"
Means he's been playing with my phone and has cleared his You Tube history so can't find his bloody Numberjacks or Alphablocks. Resulting in me having to search for them yet again.

"Oh no you broked it"
Means whatever food he was eating is now completely inedible due to being 'broken'.

"Daddy did a trump"
Means nothing, he just likes saying it really loudly in the middle of shops.

When DH began to talk his favourite word was "bugger". PILs do not know to this day where he learnt it or whether he simply invented it.

And then there's my DB as a toddler "I'll be after you with a big dick" (couldn't pronounce stick)

'mum i have good news and bad news'

Best one was at 5am

'mum I have good news and bad news"

I ask him what they are.

"bad news is I am awake" "good news is I want to dance"

He then starts jumping around while I sob

If I hear 'i dont need your help mum, stay there' it means he has turned shower on again and is soaked

DD2 is 18 months and has a very pspecial phrase. "Goy Goy Mama"
This has a specific translation, it means "look look Mama.". She only says this when accompanied by the sound of lots of things falling on the floor and usually a fair amount of laughing....
Oh it also generally means she's found out she can reach a bit further up or has climbed somewhere and we have to move breakables up by a foot...

Oh dear, what a shame. (DD 2.5).

Forget what the toddler says, the sound of my 12 yo voluntarily putting the hoover on in his room is filling me with suspicion and a sense of foreboding...

"Yucky poo hahahah" from 2 year old DS!! It's usually the start of an hour long clean up operation and usually includes washing of walls and floors. Argh.

"It's off"

It turned out to be the curtain rail in dd's bedroom

"I did a massive poo in the potty. But its OK I've cleaned it all up now with the brush...."

"urr dah urrr dah ma pa cuma ta."

My DD says this a lot....and I don't know what it means...and it fills me with dread because after a few repetitions she start screaming at me because I don't understand.

Any ideas?

"Uh oh"