She took my kids away from me ,what a good person!

[papa123]

I have been the prime carer for my kids for years ,but she was jealous because i was too close with them ,so she provoked me ,i shouted to her ,made me arrested ,she left ,took me to court ,invented all sort of allegations,the case continue...

if you have an anger problem, and abusive, controlling tendancies then you are not safe to be looking after any children, especially when the person you used to abuse leaves as you then move your anger onto someone else, your children.

sledeyoulecated british for the one who said i have no right to work

I missed that.

But you do have a really fucked up view of this situation.

he was asked a question about his nationality further down the thread

You are not a good dad because you abused their mother in front of them. You made them feel upset for her, powerless to help and fear for the future.

You let your children down by your behaviour.

You showed them that adults are unstable and to be feared.

You emotionally adused your children because of your actions.

How do you think they felt when you were shouting? Where they crying? Begging you to stop? You hurt them and that is why your wife took them to keep them safe.

Your children will grow up in a broken home because of you. You can never make that up to them.

You hurt your family. You hurt the women that give birth to your children.

You are nowhere near ready to have unsupervised contact because you still have not understood what you did wrong.

She didnt take them from you. You pushed them away by making them live in fear of you.

Op, do you not understand that the best thing a parent can do for their child is showing them what a loving repectful relationship looks like?
You were abusive to your wife. You got arrested (so you did more than shout a bit). She got the kids away from you to protect them so they don't have to suffer the trauma of seeing their dad abuse their mum. And so they don't end up thinking abusive awful relationships are all they deserve when they are adults.
Good on her.

err you are getting a second chance - being allowed to see your children in a supervision centre IS your second chance and you're lucky to have it. i'd personally move to the other side of the world rather than have my son subjected to having to go to a contact centre and have to face an abusive man without me.

i beleive that someone who recon what he did and willing to change and deeply remorsful deserve a second chance ,i am realy honest about this

I don't doubt that this can happen in some cases but here? Where you still her taking her children away was down to jealousy and not because you were abusive to her?

I don't think it'll happen in this case, or at the very most, not for an extremely long time.

some of you really dont feel what i feel and dont know the whole story but i say again that i am the father of those kids and i was the prime carer for them i love them very much i love their mum too ,things have gone the wrong way and i am sorry sorry sorry not for me but to her to my kids ,it was a love story on how we met i love her but its hard for me ,time is killing me

Good.

Bet it was killing her and those kids to live in fear of you.

Got what you deserve.

why didn't you treat her with kindness and respect and get through the difficulties with a bit of humour and forgiveness when you had the chance if you loved her so much?

If you love them, then you'll want what's best for them. Which includes having a father that's faced up to what he's done and accepted responsibility for it, not someone who's blaming their mother for the abuse perpetrated against her.

If you really want to, you can change. You can be the father your children need and deserve.

But you will first have to take responsibility for your own actions and try to figure out why you acted in the way you did. The incident that lead to your arrest took place in front of your children, all under 4. They must have been terrified. Your behaviour must have been awful to get you arrested.

You need to stop wasting time blaming their mother for what has happened. Take part in a domestic violence perpetrator programme, get on waitinglist for counselling via your GP. Use your supervised contact to be gentle and loving to your children.

You can turn this around but only if you want to.

That you had a nice family and you broke it by being abusive and you dobt like the effect its had on you. That you miss your life. That you are sad for yourself no seeing your children not seeing your wife. Not having anyone to take it out on. That now you have to get a job pay maintance and take responsability for your actions.

I can see why thats shit for you.

Can you see why thats shit for your children?

need to go ,thanks to the ones who have used appropriate words to advise and i promise you that i am improving and i will controle my temper with my wife and kids and always be there for them,hopefuly life is still long ahead..

I agree with the above poster and you can turn it around but.only when you have empthy for you family and truly see your behaviour as others see it and understandy why you are adusive.

Did your father treat you like that?
Did you see your dad treat your mum like that?

they don't want you there. you have burnt your bridges. they are not your 'things' that should come running back simply because you say you are sorry and want them to.

you have lost all control

they don't want you there. you have burnt your bridges. they are not your 'things' that should come running back simply because you say you are sorry and want them to.

you have lost all control

Abuse is not love.
Forcing your children to witness abuse is not love.
Slagging your children's mother off on the web is not love.

You have much work to do on why there is such a great discrepancy between your feelings (love) and your actions (abuse) before you can have a normal relationship with your children. Or anyone.

It's not easy. It's damned hard. But it is possible. It just depends on how much you want it.

You need to face the truth head on even if it hurts.

Forget about your wife she will file for devoice and move on. You only have a relationship with your children now.

You went too far and lost your wife for ever. She is an adult and doesnt not want you in her life anymore and you need to respect that.

I married someone resembling you.

I stupidly brought 2 DC into the mess.

Mine hit me, I coped with that as I was idiotic and believed I drove him to it... I was hit with a baseball bat, I took that, as I was idiotic, I was ran over with a car, for being whistled at, I took that as he loved me more, so I stayed, I had a PC thrown at my head, I accepted the blame for that, I was after all spending too much time on the PC (here tbh). I have 3 teeth knocked out for my left side of my mouth, I deserved that though as I disobeyed my Ex and went on a night out....I also drank lots!

Then the X hit my DC, within 2 weeks I had secretly been to several Lawyers until I found a helpful one and had him removed from my house.

Good call! He said he was very sorry, he cried and cried and looked terrible, he was also going to kill himself and my DC asked if he could come back... he clearly deserved another chance, I gave him it, 4 months later he started again, not on DC just me, but DC witnessed it, he left, thank fuck!

2 years on, his DC do not want to see him. they are terrified of him My now 12 year old child remembers seeing things at 3 years old, no child should be subjected to this!! I live with the guilt of living with an abuser and being stupid enough to bring DC into this mess. I cannot send them back and wouldn't anyway I would rather cut my eyes out.....

All I can do it try to fix and love my DC in every way possible, apparently I am keeping my DC from their father to mess with his head, he has no idea that I have been advised if he even visits them, they could be taken into care, this was only put in place this week.

He now lives with someone else, her DC are in care due to him, so they had a baby.... she in now in care!

Strangely enough this g/friend is also having the same accidents as me, she keeps walking into trees

Thankfully, he finally accepted in August this year I would never take him back, he still does not understand why.

So reading this, can you see why I am being quite hostile towards you? I do not believe a word you say, get help, prove yourself.

Read that link and accept what you are and help yourself, no-one else can help you.

Oh we are one very happy family now btw!! We no longer walk on glass and have fun lots of it!!!

I have more than enough love for my DC, more than staying with abuser, my DC thank me now.

(Hug) @ Chippin

Wanking

some of you don't feel what I feel

... and it is STILL all about you. You just don't get it do you?? You don't matter anymore. You don't deserve to matter anymore. You had your family and you blew it.

Now it is about her, and the dc. Not you.

But yet you are going round and round about how YOU are hurting, how YOU will change, how YOU want them back, how YOU looked after them.

NO. Just stop and take a look at what you are writing. It is self-obsessed drivel. It is self-pitying drivel. Stop it. Please. Stop thinking about yourself, start thinking about them. Do what is best for them. Only then can you truly begin to change.