August Babies...part 2!

[elena2]

Hi everyone!

Hi musica! Work is approaching (next Monday) and its crap and I'm really really dreading it. However I'm still off at the moment and determined to enjoy it. dd2 is also standing and can also bend over and pick things up and go straight back to standing (without support from anything around her) but since she learnt to crawl fast she has absolutely no interest whatsoever in walking. Given the strength she's showing there should be nothing stopping her. Honestly I think she was closer to walking 4 weeks ago . Still I prefer this stage to the walking bit so although I will be proud when she walks I'm really enjoying the relative peace we have now.

As for her birthday (Sunday 15th August) I'm planning on inviting loads of friends, getting in food and some drinks and simply sitting back and watching all the children play. Would really be pleased if it were good weather since our garden is big and our house is tiny but we'll just have to go with the flow.

Hi all,
DD is 1 in a week!!!! (tecnically july but feel more at home with you august girls!!) We will be away so won't be doing a party! (poor 3rd child!)

We had sports day this week at DS1&2's school and I was able to join in with the mums race. last year I was huge with DD and on crutches due to SPD so it was nice to take part! Boys did well DS1 got 2nd & 3rd and DS2 got a 1st!

DD is also occasionally standing but not very steady yet. She is soooo fast at crawling that she doesn't "need" to walk. I agree with you WIlls about the "enjoying the relative peace" at the moment , but at least when walking she won't get quite so filthy in the back garden crawling arond in the mud!!

Happy Birthday to all the August Babies!!

hi all!!
wills, hope tommorow goes ok for you.

KMS !

Champs - thanks for remembering. I've been in tears quite a few times in the last week. The funny thing is that I know the reality will not be as bad as the fear iyswim. I keep behaving as though I'm never going to see my kids again. For the last week I've been having nightmares about work - you know - things like turning up and not being able to sit down because my bottom's too big for the seat sort of thing. In a funny sort of way it will be a relief to start work rather than all the dread and anticipation. There have been quite a few times when I've been close to pouring my heart out on here but everyone else have been soooo brave that I've tried "not to let the side down" so to speak. The last year has been truly the best one of my life and hopefully we can get the house renovation business up and going so well that I can give up work. We had our valuations over the weekend and they were far better than hoped for - so a good start to going back to work. Now all we need to do is achieve those prices! Wish me luck - once back at work given that I'm going back to a part time position I'll probably have "plenty" of time to read mumsnet .

Take care all

Oh and to add insult to injury - why is it that just as I return to work the weather looks like its finally going to be summer - bloody typical!!!!!!!!!!

Wills- Hope your first day back has been good. Did they find you a job??
The weather wasn't as good as expected today so ou didn't miss anything!!
Take care

hi all!!
wills--- i was not brave at all, infact i even nearly didn't go back. I still hate leaving ds2 and it's comming up to 2 months since i went back!! Funnily enough, ds1 is feeling the effects too and really misses me. ds2 cries so much when i'm not there, often cries himself to sleep. I feel sssooooooo guilty

hope your first week back was better than you thought.

how's everyone else? what have you all got planned for birthday's?

champlet is now 1!!!! 8 August

Happy birthday champlet. Lotte will be one on Sunday and I'm having a smallish party. I'm sooo looking forward to it. Hate work. Mother is bullying me and dd1 had an operation today (Gromits so not serious but harrowing for me anyway!).

How is everyone???? Hope all is well.

Lotte (dd2) walked last Saturday.

Hi All - just come back from 10 lovely days camping in south Devon. Bliss! Even managed to use cloth nappies! Going again in just over a week - Pembrokeshire this time. Going to have a little party for DD2 while we are there.

Wills - big hugs.

hi all!! thanx wills. Hope Lottie had a lovely party. Ds2 will have a party friday as i have been working and unable to have one. She walked!! how brilliant and clever!! good for her,,, bad for your legs... chasing after her, and finances... house safety and breakages hope dd1 is feeling better. Tell mum to stop bullying you.... pref on phone or at least in dif room
Katherine... sounds lovely, was the weather nice for you?! happy bdy for dd2 when it comes

Champs: DD2 stood very breifly on holiday at Buckfast Abbey. Must have been an act of God though as she's not done it since. She has mastered climbing the stairs though!!!!!!!

DSs 6th birthday yesterday. Went better than I expected as the weather was good (thank God) so we had it in the Tipi. 16 kids all managed to fit in there for PtP and food and managed not to spill anything (mainly becuase they couldn't move at all). Kept getting invaded by wasps though - they are everywhere. DD1 got stung on her neck poor thing. DH decided to disappear for 2 hours in the morning leaving me looking after the 3 of them and trying to BF whist making sandwitches etc. And I got lumbered with the dreaded SILs. Not impressed. Threw my wedding ring at him when he got back. Things are really horrendous between us at the moment.

Spent today trying to clear the holiday cottage ready for permanent tennant which will mean less work for me thank god but also loose my spending money so even more dependent on DH. Cam back for lunch to find so many wasps in the kitchen that we couldn't go in so didn't get our lunch till 3pm when a combination of frustration and hunger turned me into wasp woman and I launched myself at them with a towel. Mass waspicide but at least we got to eat. Oh and mums house sale has fallen through so she's on the phone 5 times a day moaning.

DD2 had a really good chew last night and I've still got the marks. This was the point I stopped with DD1 (13mths for DS). I hate to think of never BFing again though. Makes me really sad - its the end of babyhood etc. Sob sob. Mind you it might mean she'll start sleeping. Oh I just don't want to think about it.

Really not feeling very happy at the moment

Oh Katherine you poor thing, tonnes of hugs coming your way. Not seriously arguing with dh but we are having strong conversations about the possibility of a third. The idea of stopping now and that dd2 is the last one leaves me feeling really bereft (sp?) so I sort of understand how you feel. dd2 also mastered climbing the stairs long before standing - funny that! The only probs I'm having (apart from hating work) is the bullying I'm being subjected to from my mother. To make matters worse my husband is desperate to tell "her where to go". At dd2's party on Sunday (which was great) my mother was ratty with our Nanny, and refused to speak to my in-laws who also refused to speak to her. Want to scream!

Katherine is your dh not pulling his weight?

Hi Wills. Its not that DH isn't pulling his weight although a lot of the time he's not here but that work and he can't help that. We just seem to argue about everything. he seems really sensitive at the mo and he is twisting a lot of things I say to make me the bad guy. I'm not perfect and I can be nasty sometimes but it drives me mad when I'm acused and its not true. Also I'm still not up for you know what. I never have been while BF. DH seems to think that if we start again then things will improve between us but I want things to improve between us before we go there so its all a bit tricky. When we first went on holiday he was poorly too and it made hom really nasty. I could sympathise a bit but I got fed up eventually. By the end of it I was questioning whether I wanted to be with him. I slept on the far side of the tent as I didn't want to be close to him. But at the same time I don't want to be another statistic, to deprive the kids of their dad or to have to leave home. we've had bad patches before and there is a lot of other C**p going on that won't be helping.

I know exactly what you mean about wanting no. 3. Even when I was pg with no. 2 I was thinking imagine noth doing this again. I always knew I would have 3 but insisted that 3 would be enough although I think that was partly for DHs benefit. To think that I was 2mths pg with no.2 at this point when DS was DD2s age too! I'm not sure how I feel now. I think part of my aversion to sex is because I'm terried of getting pg. But at the same time I feel really sad that its over now. I don't desperatly want to have another though - certainly not now and realistically I think 3 is enough - but then I've not had my Jude yet!

Hi Katherine. Oh poor you. My relationship with dh seems to go up and down like a yoyo. We do have doldrums from time to time and yes they do go on for a while but so far we've always come out and back onto a high. In some ways I approach a bad time in our relationship a little like a bad morning with dd1. I take a big breath and try to find the good things and concentrate on those. But its not really that simply and it sounds like the pair of you have really hit a bad patch. My view on marriage is that its something that should be seriously worked on but when its over then its over. Do you really feel that close to it being over? If so then you need tonnes and tonnes and tonnes of hugs {{{{}}}}. I really really feel for you. I don't have a lot of advice for that area because you sound very practical already so I don't want to come across as lecturing. Good luck honey!

As for wanting more - you are one of the few people I've come across that understands my perspective. I can't understand how anyone can say "I'm going to have X number of kids". Surely you don't know until you get there. I really hated the fact that everyone around me is always asking me to give a number - so I always came out with the response "loads" - no one ever believes me. All I know at the moment is that after two I don't yet want to stop. My dh does not want any more and in many ways its made me more desperate - its the route of all our problems at the moment (well that and my mother's constant interferance ). I suspect that when the time comes he will relent to another but what if that's not enough? I'm told constantly that with three surely I'll be satisfied? What a stupid comment! I look at my kids and I float, possibly with 3 I might find that I've reached my limits - all I know is that I haven't found it yet. The problem is that given the breakdown of mine and dh's relationship during dd2's pregnancy a third baby may well cost me my relationship. My dilema is I'm not sure whats more important - my desire for more children or my love of my husband. Sorry, didn't mean to waffle.

Hi everyone. Katherine and Wills - so sorry you're both having difficult times. I was hoping things with your mother would have sorted out a bit Wills - are you any further forward or are things just as hard? I don't know what you do with a parent who just interferes the whole time - I get really irritated with mine, and they're really not bad! But things like if they tell the children off, or tell me how to do something really really annoy me!

Katherine, I'm sorry things are hard with your husband - do you think things will just resolve? When dh and I have bad times, it feels like all we ever do is fight, and it's probably true - after ds was born, and also dd we had periods of 4-5 months of pretty well constant fighting. Things are fine at the moment, but I sometimes think that we don't complement each other in stressful times.

I know what you both mean about wanting another - I definitely want another one, (not yet though!), but like you say Wills, you can never know exactly how many till you get there - if the next one was really easy then I think we would go for a fourth, but you never know how you're going to cope until you try. Sometimes at the moment I feel that two is the limit, but the idea of never having another is horrid!

Well done little Lottie on her walking - is she running around everywhere now? And well done champs' dd too. Dd is standing pretty steadily, has taken a few steps, climbed the stairs (and fallen down the top three ) and has three or four words.

Katherine, I hope you feel more cheerful soon. ((hug))

Hope everyone else is ok -

hugs to you both. am in the middle of party preparations. want it to be fun for babies but also fun for older kids. THink I'll just have to be calm and go with the flow. I am hoping to go away this yr to a holiday park or something. We are planning to go abroad next year but would like a little hol this year too.

Champs if you can get away in September then you''l be able to get a good deal on a holiday cottage. There is always a lull once the kids go back to school so you should be able to get a last minute offer.

oops didn't meant to finish there. Thanks for your kind thoughts. I think there has just been so much on lately that its been getting on top of me. But I've given up both holidy cottages now so that is a weight gone and DH has been really making an effort the last few days. Think he's worried as I've still not got my ring back on. I do appreciate him trying and it gives me confidence that we will sort things out. Its just a rough time I suppose.

Its mum that is the worst thing though. She's ringing me several times a day now. She's really down about the house sale and it just depresses me too. I just have to hear her voice and my heart sinks. I do feel for her but she's so impatient and shes been really putting on me and expecting me to do everything. I know it will all happen eventually but I just get fed up of saying the same things again and again and again.

Well I'm supposed to be packing today but I got a sudden rush of work on so I've not made a start yet. We are off to Pembrokeshire for a week camping tomorrow. Hopefully we'll get on a bit better this time and please god the weather will improve a bit. All this bad weather makes me nervous as we live in the bottom of a valley right next to a river. I remember when York was flooding last year and I kept thinking it must be our turn next. But the weather this year has been even more extreme and its August for Goodness sake! Not very inspiring for camping either. Fingers crossed. Must pack the trusty waterproofs.

Musica, no the issues with my Mum aren't really going away. She has a complicated history and was seriously physically and mentally abused by her mother as a child. I know that a lot of this is as a result of that and I think she did incredibly well all things considered. However she seems to have a list of things that those around her must do to prove their love of her and if you don't then you can't love her. Currently she's hurt and acting as though I don't care. Its very hard to reason with someone who is beyond reasoning. The reason its got to a head is that I'm supposed to put her in front of my kids and I wont do it. The sad thing is that I don't think she knows shes doing it and would never be capable of admitting it should anyone say. So I'm treating her like a child. Being firm but loving. Meanwhile my dh has had enough (because she not a child she my mother and completely sidelines him when it comes to me or the kids) and wants war. So things are tense all round but we are moving forward. Its just a little sad. I have very complex reactions moving for complete fury (like when she puts one of my dds at harm and can't see what she's done(which she does reasonably often)) to a deep sense of saddness when I see her looking hurt. dd2's birthday party was tinged with having to watch my mother being hurt because my in-laws wouldn't talk to her (they're just as furious as my dh). She's like a child that's behaved really badly but now doesn't understand why no-one wants to play with her. I want to wrap her up in cotton wool, I want to shake some sense in her, I want to scream that its not fair, but I can't do any of these things and I feel almost in limbo.

Oh dear I've really waffled on sorry - felt good to get it off my chest though

Katherine - hope the camping's going well. We're planning to go again at the start of September. Dh and I would dearly love to move back toward the sea so we're off to Brighton to see what its like.

Champs - how did the party go?

Love to all

Wills- I really feel for you. I have a similar history of problems with my mum. Although my sister has had enough and hasn't spoken to her for 4 years now because of it all, and I am a little stuck in the middle. Has your mum had any councilling about her childhood and the way it affects her adult behaviour? It is starting to help my mum and I am starting to see a difference in the way she is.

Katherine- sorry to hear things are not good with DH. Hope you can come out the other side of the stress that is caused by having young children, and sort things out.

Well DD has taken a couple of steps so I don't think it will be long now. She just needs a little more confidence. She now has all 4 molars AND 2 canines and the other 2 are well on the way! She obviously won't stop teething till shes got the lot! Recently we have been doing Makaton signing with her and she can now do quite a few. It's great that she can communicate her needs like when we were travelling in the car and she was screaming the boys could ask her if she wanted Milk, Eat or Drink and she would sign the answer! She is so pleased with herself when I understand a new sign. She is also attempting the word with the signs now.

I am recovering from a badly sprained ankle. I went right over on it last tuesday and have been on crutches all week (took me back to the crutches last year while pg with DD!) Have finally managed to walk with out them today but it is still really swollen. Poor boys have been a little house bound this summer. Although we did manage camping in gloucester and Arran as well as a trip to mums in Wales and if the weather improves we are off camping again next week.

hi all!!
wills--- the party was very nice ty, although not everyone came, it was nice we had a bbq and ds2 really liked the party. didn't mean to sound so insensitive before about you mother, obv i didn't kno about the extent of it (foot in mouth alert)
katherine--- will look into cottages, maybe eveb centre parcs how is dh?
kms--- sorry to hear about ankle, is it still painfull now?

marina--- where are you? how r you?

wills-- forgot to ask, how is work going?

Hi All - just got back from camping. Really recommend south Pembrokeshire - the most gorgeous coastline anywhere. fab beaches. Equal to Cornwall, Devon etc but with a lot less people. Had a lovely time. Even got on pretty well with DH so everyone is much happier. The Tipi attracted loads of comments and visitors and DD2 had her first birthday in there. SIL once again bought the thing she knew I was planning to get DD2 so a bit fed up about that but fortunately they pulled out of camping at the last minute so it removed that tension. The weather was pretty good too even though the forcast was terrible. Mind you we were on a sheltered site - we visited a site down the road and one of the tents blew down one night! We are doing one more trip next weekend and then thats probably it for the summer :( Can't wait for the spring again now!

DD2 is so lively. She's really trying to talk and so nearly walking. She's got one of her molars through and is biting like mad so I'm very raw. This was the point I stopped with the other 2 and I'm wondering if it might help her sleep better but then she's the last so I don't want to. I expect it will sort itself out with time. She's definitley loosing interest in me during the day.

I expect everyone is away for the bank hol. We had to come home early as DH had a meeting but it goves me chance to get DD1 ready for school next week. !!!!!!!!

Wills hope you are enjoying the bank hol. I really feel for you. I can't imagine not being here. Having gone through a whole spectrum of wanting to go out to work feelings I'm now so glad I am here and reading other peoples feelings really helps me realise how privaledged I am. Try not to let it get you down too much - you will still be a brill mum. Hugs.

KMS sorry aout the ankle. You poor thing. Hope you are better for camping. Where are you off to this time. Try pembrokeshire. :)

Champs - no honey I wasn't upset, in fact can't work out what you think might have upset me so really don't worry.

Musica - Yes my mum is having counselling but she's only been going for 6 months ish and I suspect she's only at the start and has a long way to go. I'm not sure if things have come to a head because of the counselling or simply because I'm back at work and have gone ahead with using a nanny despite her various threats. How is your ankle?

Katherine - we hope to go camping this weekend and I'm really really looking forward to it. I'm annoyed because at the start of May I'd planned to go away loads. We organised all the camping equipment so that it was easily accessible and all I would have to do was pack clothes/buy food etc. Despite that this will only be our second time away!!!!! Its amazing how weekends fill! We're also due to go for a cheap holiday on the 11/9/04 to Britany. We're hiring a cottage and its really cheap but I haven't found any cheap Ferries yet - bit concerned because we do need this to be stunningly cheap. Considered flying but don't fancy that as all the luggage that comes with dd2 makes it very hard to pack.

I'm also considering going to Disneyland Paris for Christmas (partially because I'd like to make the break from HAVING to spend Christmas day at my mothers (where dh always rows because dm plays up with the kids i.e. gives them things he's said they can't have, overriding him, etc etc etc)). Its far cheaper than we thought especially if we book now using easyjet.

Oh well that's my round up - how all is well.

Opps - Champs work is crap. I'm doing nothing apart from having long lunches and going to the gym. So I sit there and pine for my kids instead iyswim! This week I've booked myself on a training course so I'm likely to enjoy myself this week.

Oh and I have the added pleasure of dd1 starting school on Thursday