August Babies...part 2!

[elena2]

Hi everyone!

KMS even, big apologies. My excuse is that I am sitting here with a head full of gunk and paracetamol, saving my sick leave for when dd catches her next vile virus.

my dad died last week.

Katherine, you have my heartfelt sympathy, thoughts and hugs. My grandad died last month.

Sorry I've not been around. My grandad spent a few weeks dying and honestly it was awful to see a human being in so much pain. We all suspect that a little more morphine was administer than strictly necessary and we are all extremely grateful. I wont go on but it is a very sad loss.

Apart from that things are going reasonably well. The house development and ticked along really well, so much so that both dh and I are waiting for something to go wrong. We've developed too many houses and know that this is not reality. I'm struggling with balancing project managing the property and looking after the girls. I'm learning things I can do and things I can't. Dd1 has started preschool and for the first two weeks came home in a foul mood. It was very obvious that she was having a lovely time at school but for some reason decided to give me a really hard time. I think its because she gets very "high" at school and finds it difficult to then come home to just me and dd2 iyswim. This, along with my grandfather's death really got me down and blue. At the same time I went to a nutrionlist and have started an anti-thrush diet which is incredibly strict. I'm finding it hard to stick to as everything has to be cooked from stratch and therefore often lapse out of sheer convinence i.e. have a can of baked beans etc. The problem is that it does work but the moment I lapse it comes back! Meanwhile dd2 is still waking 2 to 4 times a night . She only weighs 12lbs 14ozs so I daren't push her yet. Luckily I've found a very sensible HV. As dd2 has had bronchilitus for the last month she feels there is a valid reason for the fact that she's now left the weight chart completely and is down in the "grey" area beneath it. Phew. However she does want me going every week for her to be weighed. On the up side she is sitting and last weekend went from nanosecond sitter to confident sitter and is really really proud of herself. Like yours marina she can go from front to back but has absolutely no inclination about going from back to front. I'm happy with this as dd1 crawled at 6 months 2 days and I found it more of a nightmare than a blessing. Anyway things are ok - been a bit blue and things were getting on top of me but as I'm not getting nights yet I suspect that has a lot to do with it and dh goes out of his way to let me sleep at the weekends which has distinctly helped. Hope I haven't moaned too much - sorry

Katherine I'm so sorry. I was hoping you'd just been busy, because you hadn't posted in a while. ((hug)) Are you ok? I can't really think of anything very helpful to write, but I really want you to know I'm thinking of you.

Wills, good to hear from you! I'm sorry about your grandad too. ((hug)) for you too. I hope you and your family are all ok. Your dd2 sounds like she's doing really well, even if she is on the petite side. My dd is about 14.5lb now, so she's quite small as well (considering she started over 10lb), but I'm still avoiding the dreaded HV. I know how you feel in the house building - although it sounds like yours is altogether bigger scale! We've been having a bit of a break from renovating, but I have a horrid thought that dh is about to get into another room.....

Hope everyone else is ok, and katherine and wills, I really am thinking of you both this evening. xxx

Katherine, I'm so sorry. Sympathy to you too Wills.

just want to add my sympathy and condolencies(sp?) to you both. May your hearts be comforted in your time of loss. I pray that you and your families have peace and give each other support.
(((((hugs)))))))

Katherine, Wills, what sad news. I'm so sorry to hear about your bereavements. You are both very much in my thoughts this evening. Have to go, dd crying. Love to you both.

Thanks all. He'd been poorly for some time so I knew it was coming but it all happened so quickly in the end. We were on holiday in South Wales at the time so had to pack up and dash up to Cumbria which took 10 hrs. Then I stayed with my mum for the week while we organised the funeral. He was only 65. DH took the two older ones home and it was the first time I'd been away from them so I really missed them. My mum is disabled so now I have to worry about her being on her own all the time. Its really hard. I'm not doing too badly but I keep thinking of things he'll never know about and it seems so unreal.

On a happier note DD2 is doing really well. She;s just about mastered sitting up and is so reactive and reponsive now. And she has such a lovely nature. I also have a free nanny 2 days a week at the mo which is a big help. She's still waking a couple of times a night though. But my other 2 did this until 10months when I just started to ignore them so maybe I need to do the same thing. Trouble is I worry about them waking her.....

Wills I'm sorry about your Grandfather. Hugs.

Hi all
I have been around although a bit infrequently, but have changed my name (again!) as I was bloody sick of seeing that naff advert at the top of the page advertising 'Elena's natural products' or something similar! So I'm Clear Water now.

Oops, Ds2 is crying, will try to post more soon!

ClearWater, at least your previous moniker wasn't MichaelWinner (perish the thought)! Nice to see you back, anyway.
Katherine, I've been thinking of you. Thank you for updating us, it must be very difficult at the moment. My parents are in Cumbria and far away from us too. Hugs{}

Hi all. Feeling very low at the moment. V. mixed feelings about dads funeral and the way mum handled it, worry about mum on her own, DD2 has horrible cold, keeps being sick and hasn't slept for the last 4 nights, squabbling with DH (didn't even share a bed last night) and having trouble with DSs school so that I even thinking of moving him (see edication thread). I feel like I've got a big knot in my stomach and that I'm about to burst into tears all the time. Don't know what to do about DS and just feeling very low and worn out. Poor DD is getting totally neglected and its her birthday party this weekend so I really need to sort myself out. Feeling very sorry for myself.

How is everyone else.
Thanks for your kind thoughts Marina.
Wills how was your party?

I may be butting in here and if I am Im sorry but Ive have been flitting about reading this and that and have found this thread.
I lost my Dad (58) 6 weeks after DS2 was born so I think I understand a little of how you feel Katherine.
I just wanted to say it`s ok to feel sorry for yourself and its ok to be cross with other people or instiututions.
I think when a parent dies young you have a right to feel cheated out of the X years you expected to have with your Dad and the children with their grandad. At times I think folk feel pressured to "act normal", "carry on" and not be a bother to those around them. The "normal" bit will come eventually but you need to get there in your own time and not before.

I hope that things will get easier for you and your Mum. Again, sorry if I`m intruding I just wanted to offer support.

Katherine, I posted about your schooling dilemma on the other thread. Is it that which has caused your disagreement with dh?
I'm just so sorry you've got this colossal burden at the moment. Toot's words of wisdom sound very helpful - I cannot imagine I would cope at all if I suddenly lost a parent, I think you are bound to feel wretched and have so many conflicting emotions.
Anyway, just sending you more hugs really, thinking of you and hoping that some things that can improve quite quickly (dd2's health for example) do so. I really hope the party goes well and that dh pulls his weight at that. Sorry he is not being more supportive about the school issue - I still think, even though it is yet another upheaval, you ought to move ds. This woman is going to be a thorn in your side until he is 11 otherwise. All very well for a partner who I guess doesn't do much of the day-to-day school stuff to object...

Hi Katherine, I've been meaning to ask if I could join this thread as dd was born last august. I am sorry to here of your loss. I lost my father when ds was 8 months (it was also at Christmas so horrible all round). I am not surprised you are still feeling rotten about everything. It is awful losing a parent, especially when you are having to look after your children and possible your mother. I felt that I was giving out everything, when all I wanted to do was go away by myself and cry. I'm sure everything you are feeling is part of the grieving process and we probably have to go through it in order to accept what seems to be unacceptable. Things do get better, I still think about my Dad most days and always feel sad when I think how much he would have loved to see my ds grow, and to have met dd. I hope all your other situations get sorted out, can you get any help from friends who can take some pressure off. Thinking of you

hi all!! Katherine, please try and cry if you need to.... there is no harm in crying, infact it is more harm to keep it in IYKWIM) I know you hear this alot and i dont want to sound cliche but all the pain will get better in time. It may still hurt but it wont be so raw and you can remember the good things about your dad.
Be heartened that it is bound to be a little shakey at home.
It will be nice for your DD to have a party, as she may feel the tension at home and it will take her mind of it.
Please take each day as it comes. We are all here if you need a chat or a cry.
((((hugsss))))

Oh katherine, you're going through it at the moment aren't you. Do you find that you get on worse with your dh when you are both stressed or worried? That's what happens with us, but it's when you need support from your husband the most.

I haven't caught up on your education thread yet, but from what I read before it sounds like you should definitely think about moving your son and at least that would be one thing less to worry about.

champs is right - if you want to have a really good cry, it's good to. It's only natural after losing a parent, and of course you're concerned about your mum. Could you and the children go up for a bit when the holidays come? Could also give you and dh a bit of space. I really am thinking of you all - hope things seem a bit brighter soon.

(((((lots of hugs))))

hi all!!!! katherine, how are you doing today? how's your mum? are you and DH still stressed? how was dd's b'day party?

Oh tut, look at this, over a month since anyone posted and none of us got back to Champs...
Was spurred on by MI's news that her July babe is crawling. Dd is wriggling and can pivot round, also roll and haul herself in search of that elusive packet of wipes, intricate Lego model, knitting bag etc. She is still having nasty problems with one ear so we have a hospital referral in the pipeline and a very squitty babe at present after five course of antibiotics. Lactobacillus powder is helping.
How are you all? Are you any closer to a career decision, Katherine? I have a friend on the Sheffield SALT course this year with a young family, but she's from the city and was able to move them all back there. Her background is in linguistics too. How are you all faring generally? How is your mum doing?
Wills, where are you? Please don't make us all resort to watching daytime property programmes in the hope of spotting you in action
Musica, I owe you an e-mail and a whopping apology for not replying sooner. Dh has "upgraded" our PC at home which is why I was barely able to post during 2 weeks off over Easter, and he ate my e-mails - after printing them out, so I did get your message. Thanks so much for the info you sent.
Champs I've seen about on the EBM thread for example - how are those spouts going? But it would be good to hear more from everyone else!

Hello everyone still here! Marina, thanks for resurrecting this thread! Glad you got the email - hope it was of some use.

Well, what can I report? Dd is sitting up really confidently now - can just leave her surrounded by toys which is LOVELY. Ds was walking round the furniture by this age, so I'm enjoying the peace of her staying still...but yesterday she did manage to crawl backwards, so I'm guessing she is not immobile for long now. She is still very quiet, but very sweet natured - she is just happy watching what's going on. Still not chatty, but has periods of getting very excited about things.

Hope everyone else is well - katherine and wills - how are things going? Haven't heard from you in ages! Katherine - did you decide what to do about the school?

Lots of love to everyone, M. xxx

Hello everyone. Champs I feel terrible that I never spotted your message. Thank-you for asking about me. Marina Musica its lovely to here from you again.

I'm all over the place at the moment. The thing with the school is an on-going nightmare as DH does not want to move DS and I'm not sure where I would move him to anyway. I know he would be devastated to leave his friends but I don't think the school is being fair to us at all. I've started him on a reading programme at home. It only takes 10mins per day and he's already getting to grips with th sh etc which caused loads of problems before so I'm feeling good about that. Just hope I can keep it up now the holidays are over.

Speaking of which had A LOVELY TIME GIVING FULL ATTENTION (OOPS dd2 ATTACKED THE KYBOARD) to my kids. Loads of great days out, walking, cycling, Tatton Park, Otter Centre, Egg Hunts etc etc. They were great and I had a lovely time with them.

Mum is thinking about moving down here. Would feel much better having her closer and we could look after her more but also a bit daunting.

Now having career crisis and thinking about going out to work full-time but not sure how to organise childcare etc. See masses of other threads Very tempted to give it a go even though I probably won't earn much in the end as feel it will do my confidence no end of good. Plus get me expereince ready for Sheffield next year.

Life is so busy - juggling website, 3 broody chickens (due to hatch bank hol!) etc. Never seem to find time to write here anymore - sorry everyone but promise to do better.

DD2 is thriving. She is tiny still - only 14lbs - but full of life. She pulls amazing faces, wriggles around, shouts and laughs and sings, sits up. She is a star. Why am I thinking about leaving her..... oh oh here comes the guilt. Better stop DH just come home. Need to build another chicken hutch!

hi!! so pleased to see thread re-started!!!
Marina---- still haven't tried spouts *blush

how's everyone?

all your babbies, sound like little gems ds2 is getting on nicely, still quite small, still wears size 3-6mths vest and 4-6mths clothes, bless him. still hates his tummy but loves sitting and reaching.

Hi all. Marina - made me laugh!!. Wrote a really long message about 2 weeks ago but it disappeared. So briefly... House going wellish but as we were doing so brilliantly at the start we decided to do the decorating and carpentry ourselves. Big big big big mistake. We have now learnt that we can't juggle the house and the kids and for the next house will hire a carpenter to hang doors/fit kitchens etc and a decorator. One of us (dh or myself) is permanently at the house and we feel distinctly like ships passing in the night. Desperately pulling out all stops in the hope that we will have finished by May 18th when we are booked to go on holiday to Crete. The holiday has kept our spirits up but there are times when I really pine for the kids.

dd2 crawled backwards today which if dd1 is anything to go by is the precursor to going forward. Bit disappointed as I hoped that she would wait until she was past 1year at least. DD1 was crawling at 6months and walking at 9 months and whilst being initally very proud soon discovered that it was a nightmare. Apart from that she is gloriously gorgeous and a permanent entertainment to us all. She uttered her first words about two weeks ago ("Hi ya" and believe it or not can whistle (well pouts her lips and blows air through resulting in a whistle) much to the frustration of her older sister who is trying to learn to whistle and can't. I am currently trying to weane her off of me as I still have thrush (surely I should be put in the guiness book of records for this!) but dd2 is still feeding two or three times a night and trys hard not to take milk from a bottle saving up her need for milk until the nighttime ! A lot of people have suggested using the baby whisperer so I've ordered it from Amazon - any thoughts anyone????

Katherine - dd2 has only just reached 15lbs so it was lovely to hear that there is another petite baby out there. Other 8 month olds seem enormous compared to dd2.

Katherine - again - need your help!!! Am moving on to real nappies (about time too I know) and need a few more pointers. Pretty much sorted during the day but am struggling with them at night as dd2 can really wet her nappies - what would you suggest? Hope you wont mind but I'll send you an email rather than make this post any longer.

Good luck in your job hunting. Working full time can be rewarding (when did you last hear your kids say wow I really appreciate the way you put yourself out for me....) but don't doubt that you will miss your kids. I found that working allowed me to be completely relaxed around dd1 even when she was screaming her head off in the middle of John Lewis and doing circles on the ground. I was sooo pleased to have time with her it didn't matter if she was in a good mood or a bad one. Most of all I earn the money and that means that dh can't write the rule book, something that would really get to me. Unfortunately I am going to have to return to work for at least a year if not two. The banks wont give us a mortgage for the renovation house without my salary backing it up so I'd better go back. however when I do go back dh is giving up work to work full time at business in the hope that we can turn houses around at such a pace that we build up a reputation within a year to two years that will enable us to borrow money without my salary backing it up. Fingers crossed.

The only other thing to report is that dd2 has had suspicious pink cheeks for 3 days now and had a real screaming paddy for a hour this afternoon. I suspect her "baby smile" days are numbered and when I felt inside her mouth this afternoon found the telltale two little lumps that would, to me, indicate teeth.

Best wishes and hugs to everyone and appologies for not posting more. Hopefully when the house is finished and on the market I will have a bit more time.

Phew - at least that message didn't "disappear"

Hi all again. Wills - more than happy to exchange emails. Talk to you soon.

Ahhh the dreaded teeth eh! DD2 is just cutting her second and its HORRIBLE! Sleep is something which is no longer part of the vocabulary. She's still gorgeous during the day, babbling away and pulling faces to make everyone laugh but she's so miserable at night. A few nights ago I had to get up 9 times. Last night I decided to get tough and not feed her - well just the once - the rest of the time I gave her cuddles etc and got her back to sleep that way but I feel like a zombie this morning.

She's started rolling over too which means I have to rethink my entire nappy change routine. I know what you mean Wills - its so much easier when you know you can pop them down and when you come back they will still be there! DD2 even threw herself out of her buggy yesterday, despite being surrounded by people. No bumps or bruises thank goodness but obviously the only safe place now is the backpack!

marina-- you there? how did baby shower go?