August Babies...part 2!

[elena2]

Hi everyone!

Hi Elena. Feeling quite smug this morning as made it to the school on time for the first time this week and even managed to get all my cards pressies delivered to my friends. Am now trying to motivate myself to start clearing our house ready for the deluge of guests coming after the weekend. Planning to have a quiet chilled out weekend with the kids before the chaos hits. And my dad should be coming out of hospital today

Elena I don't envy you with the shopping ahead of you but I think its kind of nice to leave it later so you can really be in Christmas mode when shopping. Have you got a babysitter?

Good idea to start a new thread Elena2.
have just done a mamouth wrapping session of all FC stuff, and others but still have more to buy. MIL has done her back in so can't babysit so will have to struggle around with all 3 and keep them from seeing anything!
What is santa bringing your babes? DD only has 3 so far and am struggling. HELP!

Hello everyone! I didn't load the last of the old thread so excuse me if I missed any really exclusive news...how are you feeling now Elena, I read somewhere else you have not been having an easy time of it? My access to Mumsnet's so patchy these days (Can't think why!)that I am not right up to speed on a lot of threads. I hope things are better for you (and Musica too) lately.
I must admit that even though I am so looking forward to dd's first Christmas, and we are all feeling chipper (if zonked) just now, I found myself missing Tom desperately this morning - he would have been one just after Christmas. I think the carols do it to me - plus the nativity play in church this morning.
Presents for small babies? Agh. I've felt it's a BAD precedent to establish if dd does not have a decent amount to open this year - ds might get the impression that as older child he is entitled to 50% more gifts. So, tbh, we have parcelled up her next size grobags, Bobux shoes, even VESTS, so that her pile is respectable. For "real" presents, we got her a first Bible, a Whoozit activity toy, a Sqwish rattle and some Neals Yard bubbles. My parents have bought her one of those pretty Lilydoll rag dolls from Urchin. She is much too young right now but the cost of their outfits means that by the time she can play with it we might have saved up for a change of clothes
Katherine, hope your dad made it out of hospital all right and keeps well over Christmas. Also hope your guests come laden with presents and willing hands to help. We are not having anyone this time except MIL and SIL on the day itself, thank goodness they live close enough to be packed off home BEFORE bedtime but AFTER the dishes have been done.
I will conclude with leading all August mothers in a brief group sulk at Wills, who is hopefully and enviably sunning herself in Florida and getting some much needed R and R. Hope you are having a fantastic time, Wills (really).

Hi everyone! Katherine - I did sympathise with your climbing in and out of land rover windows! Reminded me of the Dukes of Hazzard.

Marina - thanks for thinking of me. I'm much happier actually. The end is in sight - Christmas is this week (HURRAH!!!) and I'm feeling really positive and happy and ds is a total star and I love him to bits and dd is gorgeous and beautiful.

Agree about Wills. Have a fab time Wills!

On a more serious note, Marina, I do feel for you - I know what you mean about nativities - as a mum they are more poignant, and I guess having lost your little Tom, even more so. He will be in your mind at this time. (((hugs)))

Katherine - hope everything is getting better with your dad and that you have a restful Christmas. You deserve it! And elena, hope you're feeling better too. Your last message here sounded much better.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! xxxxxx

MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all!

I have also got dd next size grobag wrapped up but vests etc is a good idea. I thought maybe a few weaning bowls and a toothbrush!

Hope wills is having a great time too.

Marina- didn't know about Tom but it must be a really hard time of year. Hope you are able to enjoy the special time with dd.

Hi all. Will probably not get the chance to log on again so just wanted to wish everyone a merry christmas. My dad is home, the tree is up and all the pressies are wrapped. DH is doing the food shop tonight and then the guests come. just got two more coming on boxing day bringing the total to 8 adults 5 children and a baby. And you shoiuld see the size of our cottage. We will certainly not be cold Looking forward to it all though. If SIL doesn't pitch in then she will just go hungry. I plan to play with my kids and let them all get on with it.

Had great fun last night hanging leaves and pinecones on the tree on the green outside to celebrate the solstice. DH suggested we dance naken around it!!!!!!!! First fun thing he's suggested for ages so I would have obliged. But then it started to snow.....

Anyway everyone have a lovely christmas. Remember hangovers a no fun when you've got to get up in the night so water it down, eat lots of chocolate instead and let everyone else do the work.

Hi all!!!
DS2 hasn't got many pressies from us, being 4 months, he has a whole load of toys and stuff that I buy every week ( even after I say I'm not gettin any more... then I see yet another rattle or soft toy etc and just have to get it) and the stuff I wanted to get are to old for him, most of them are from 6 months so will wait till hs Christening to get them.
I didn't want to get him any old thing just so he can get a pressie, we did get him some clothes wont bother to wrap them cos he cant open them anyway, I remember ds1 first couple of Christmases first one he couldn't open them, next yr he was scared of them, yr after he didn't want to rip the paper!!!!
Marina-- I send a loving (((hug))) to you and your fam, I didn't know bout ur loss and wish u and fam all the best.

Have a wonderful Christmas Everyone :D

This is me signing off until Boxing Day at the earliest and wishing all August mums a very merry Christmas. Sounds like all over the country we will be having a good time. Enjoy yourselves, everyone!

Well, we've finally got all ds1 and ds2's presents, actually not too bad. We did get more than we planned to for ds1, as his main present was the Little Tikes log cabin playhouse, which was quite expensive, and he has SOOO many toys, and will be getting lots more from all his doting relatives. But the stuff for his age (coming up to 2 in March) is so much fun, and we culdn't resist a few things! Oh well!
Had a really hard time trying to get the log cabin into the car, even though it is a Megane Scenic it was still really hard to cram it in. Ended up leaving the box for it in the middle of Toys 'R' Us car park as there was barely enough room for me and dh to get in!

Bought ds2 one of those Noah's Ark play mat thingies with a soft boat and animals, a fisher price fish bowl, vtech lights show thingy, various rattles, an activity bar to go on his car seat as he is SO into grabbing interesting stuff atm, a gorgeous Eeyore soft toy, a fisher price truck with blocks that have things inside to slot into different places on the truck, a few other bits, but can't remember them all!
Some of the things we got he probably won't be interested in for a couple of months yet, no doubt ds1 will demonstrate what to do with them for him until then!

Present wrapping tomorrow night when ds's are both tucked up in bed...

Hope everyone has a fab Christmas, see you all soon. xxx

Hi all!!#
How was all your Christmasses?!
Ours was v.nice. Was the first year w/out my Gran, who passed away this year, The fam usually get together at her house, this yr we all went to my aunts it was very nice, DH, DS's and myself went to my mums first and had dinner first.
Elenna-- Them blocks are brilliant aren't they!! Thats what I wanted to get DS2 gonna get the truck set and the girraffe set!!!
Hope you all have a wonderful New Year.
Champs xxx

Howdy partners.. sorry I couldn't resist !

Well I'm back, arrived in the early hours yesterday but was too busy reading/unpacking to contribute. Hope everyone had great christmasses. We've bought some toys for dd2 (those few that we didn't get first time around for dd1 that with a more "expert" eye I feel will truly be useful) and many of them wont start to be used until she's 6 months+. To make sure we're fair we're putting money into a savings account for her although I "keep seeing" new things that spring in front of me.

Well Florida was great - a little cold considering the number of miles flown to get there but there you go. The first week was mainly in the 50s/60s but as this was spent visiting Disney/Universal possibly this wasn't such a bad thing. It warmed up nicely for the second week which was spent in Fort Myers Beach (and the Everglades) and in the days before we came home it even reached the low 80s . The time with my dm was far far better than expected enough that both sides could actually contemplate another (but not for some time). No the only downside was my brother and his dreadful dreadful wife - sorry can't bring myself yet to call her sil. DH and I spent a lot of our time trying to give them the benefit of the doubt and be forgiving etc but they really would qualify as a couple that shouldn't have kids. SIL has a 7 year old girl from a previous marriage (although technically she actually lives with her father as the courts have awarded guardianship to him and not to her mother) and dh and I worked really hard to form a bond with her because we felt soooo sorry for her. If we (and my parents) hadn't bought her Christmas presents then all she would have recieved would have been a very cheap dolly. Considering they bought themselves an mp3 player and her tonnes of clothes and sports stuff you'll understand how unimpressed we were. The final straw came on the day we left, they'd left the day before and a load of dd2's presents have "mysteriously" disappeared. I've unpacked and my mum has cleared out the villa - they've gone and I'm really shocked that anyone would steal from a 3 year old.

Christmas day was great, we went out for a really posh lunch and then spent the afternoon on the beach dolphin spotting - great. I did miss England though and its strange to return to house with no "left-overs" we're off out soon to get "goodies" from M&S/Tescos . I would happily return to Florida again however possibly not over christmas - at heart I like being at home for Christmas and I missed home more than I would normally on a two week holiday. Happy new year to all of you - have missed you all. Possibly crazily we've invited sets of friends and their kids to us for New year and the house will heave, but it should be fun - 6 adults and 5 kids in a small 3 bed semi will definitely be interesting to say the least .

Wills, that ANYONE would steal a baby's Christmas presents is unthinkable but a relative? How terrible. I don't think I would be able to bring myself to have any contact with such a person again.
Glad you had a good time otherwise though.

I second that Elena, tis truly terrible. I would have to say something.... It is a crime after all.
Wills you are truly a strong person I admire you alot.

Ooh forgot to say. Have weaned dd2. Am feeling a little guilty as I had intended on waiting until she was 6 months but she went from going all the way through the night to feeding 2hourly round the clock. After 10 days of that on holiday I finally gave in and gave her some baby rice. She adores the stuff and doesn't even mess her bib i.e. nothing gets spat out. Great big smiles, wide open mouth for more and obviously enjoying it, however am still feeling guilty since current advice for breast fed babies is to wait until 6 months. Anyone else finding that their babies are getting hungrier?

Hi Wills, yes, I've started weaning ds2 too.

He was starting to wake again in the night and having a 9oz bottle and screaming for more, then he would have another 4/5oz, so 15oz at a time! He's 18 2 now as well, so I think he was definitely ready!
I've only given him baby rice so far, am going to try him with some pear soon, and maybe carrot.
Sometimes I'll give him milk when it's been a while since he had a feed and he's acting hungry, and he'll cry and struggle as if the milk isn't what he wants. So I make him some rice and he'll eat that quite happily, usually 2 teaspoons of dry rice mixed with his milk.

Wills- glad you had a good time after all. can't belive that brothers wife would steal your DD2's presents. Do they have a 3yr old too?

Well, not started weaning yet, but DD got her first tooth on boxing day! She is very interested when we eat and will grab at food. She isn't feeding any more than before so will wait until things change.

Hi everyone and Happy New Year. Hope you all had good Christmases. We had a really nice time, and we even got snow, so ds could build a snowman.

Please forgive me if I have a bit of a moan now....

Dh and I haven't been getting on all that well. Basically our relationship is fine, but we argue quite a lot, and it's always about one or two things. Last night we had SUCH a horrible evening - he started off by having a go at me about my weight. He's always been quite 'controlling' about food - if I make a meal his first question is 'Is this greedy?'. And since ds was born 2 and a half years ago he's considered me to be too big. I know I am over what I should be, I'm about a size 14, and 5'5. But, when we met and started going out, I was suffering from various eating disorders, and was quite thin. I think he's comparing now with then, which I don't think is a fair comparison. I just feel really down, because I know he doesn't find me attractive now.

The other thing is the household chores. He does a lot to help round the house, and I really appreciate the fact that he isn't a man who just expects his wife to do everything. But he considers that he does everything. Last night he made me stay up till 2:30, tidying and cleaning. (By this I mean that had I not, he would have been really angry, not that he physically made me). And at the end of the evening he still considered himself to have done everything, and said I just sat and watched him. Which isn't true.

I just feel like life wasn't meant to be like this. Am I being unreasonable?

There, moan over. Sorry for being so self indulgent. I'm trying to be cheerful for the children, but ds came up to me this morning and gave me big hug and said 'Mummy sad.' I could have cried.

Musica, please dont take this like i am patronising cos i really am not. I felt really angry and upset wen I read ur post. I could feel the hurt!!!
Every relationship goes thru ruff patches and havin children strains even the best but I feel your dh is bein unresonable to say the least!!
He obv doesnt know how much work it takes just to look after children.

He sounds abit of a bully, I dont mean to run him down and soz if I offended, but He really does.
If there is housework to be done he should do wat he can, even if he was doin everythin, he lives there too!!

Please dont feel down bout yr weight, this just adds to the negative way you feel!! UR DH shud not be so horrible as to use your insecurity as a weapon!!

the thing about a bully or someone who uses bullyin tactics is that they have insecurities maybe ur dh has some he needs to deal wiv.

bless your kid, thet really do melt ur heart.

bye for now, champs xxx

ps hope i didnt over step mark

Hi Musica.

This has to be a quickie but having read your post I had to respond. God I'd be crushed if my husband ever commented about my weight so you really have my sympathies. I think you need to re-educate him as to what is healthy and what is not, but that takes a long time and I don't honestly have a short term solution for that. I think he should know how hurt you are. I think its important in a relationship to let people know how their "words" have been recieved lest you have misunderstood - although I doubt it.

As for the housework, this is a perpetual argument between my dh and I. Talking to friends and from reading posts on Mumsnet I get the impression its a common problem. The other night my dh got up in the middle of the night and tripped over some washing and hurt his toe. He proceeded to throw at me "Christ this bedroom is such a mess" as if to say - "you have made this bedroom such a mess". We promptly had a row (it was 5.00 in the morning, I'd been up since 2.00 looking after dd2 who was sick and we'd just returned from Florida so I hadn't gone to bed until midnight anyway). It ended up with me getting up and running around tidying up and crying. The real "piece de resistance" is that HE'D PUT THE WASHING THERE!. He appologised. We had these rows on and off throughout our 14 years together. I get to tell him he's a self centred pig and he feels remorseful and runs around me for a day. But its only for a day and I would still say that I do 60-75% of all the housework even when working. The feminist in me screams that this is wrong but I haven't found the solution yet.

Don't have much in the way of solutions just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel.

HTH

Musica, just popped into this thread to say I think you're doing very well if you're a size 14 so soon after giving birth! I know that's not the point but I wanted to say it anyway. Your DH does sound as if he needs re-educating - could you leave him with the children for a day or 2 just so he gets the idea?

Thanks for your sympathy! Sorry for unloading all that on you! I think dh has been a bit depressed recently, and he just lashed out at me a bit, and managed to hit a sensitive place with me! Champs - course you didn't overstep the mark! Wills - that sounds so like our house! (The 'this bedroom is a mess' - that could have happened here, including me running around tidying and crying. Www - thanks! Leaving the children with dh isn't really in option, especially as dd won't take a bottle. He is actually really good with the kids - I think we both just hit a low patch the other evening, and he hit a couple of sore points with me - i.e. things I worry about anyway.

Anyway, how's everyone? We've just started ds on potty training, so all thoughts are on wee-wees here! Poor dd is being a bit neglected as I run round the house clutching a potty shouting 'wee wee'! We've not started dd on solids yet - I'd like to leave it till 6 months, and also get the potty training sorted first!

Hope you're all ok, and I'm really sorry again for being so selfindulgent! It did help though, and your replies have really helped too. xxx

Hi all, catching up belatedly as usual here. Happy New Year to everyone and hands up who enjoyed (in a funny sort of way) giving poor Ghosty tips about giving birth during a heatwave!
Wills, good to see you back - glad you had a nice time apart from the light-fingered SIL from hell, but sorry to hear dd2 is poorly and you are still battling with your GP over the thrush medication.

I was truly shocked to read Musica's original post about her husband and the housework and then your comments too. Perhaps I'm lucky to have an untidy if basically hygienic man around - it's me usually running after him (AND ds) and threatening to put stuff in the bin if it's still on the floor 24 hours later.

Musica, I remember you posting previously about your dh and the weight issue. I was very glad to read later that you feel it was just one of those edgy rows we all have from time to time...we had an interesting exchange of views on MONEY last night, alas. I personally think the first few months are fine with a new baby and then you stop being nice to each other about it all...that's what happened with us first time round, anyway. I have no experience of living with the legacy of an eating disorder but it sounds to me as though Musica has come through it well and her dh is the one still grappling with the issues. I echo WWW and say size 14? Five months after having a second child? He should be kissing your toes! The only thin parts of me are my ankles and my bank balance at the moment.

I felt hard done-by pureeing apples, sterilising breast-pumps and chipping porridge off ds' school jumper at 10.30pm last night so the thought of being made to tidy up til 2.30am filled me with horror. Wills, if your dh doesn't like the mess he has made of the main bedroom, park him in the spare one. That's where mine is temporarily, and he is festering cheerfully in a nest of fishing magazines, old socks and discarded any-way-up cups (from ds I hasten to add). Meanwhile dd and I finally have our bedroom the way I want it!

I am back at work and it's been a horrid week with a lot of red eyes all round. The children have risen magnificently to the occasion, with all ds' refusals to dress, eat breakfast briskly etc, long gone...he has been a total star and the only hissy fit has been when he missed breakfast club due to our alarm clock not going off this morning.

Dd is settling in well at nursery and finally took a bottle with no fuss yesterday. She has sensibly plumped for EBM rather than formula so I am going to have to keep pumping while barricaded in to my office for the foreseeable future. But I really don't care. I miss her so much I am prepared to express standing on a table in the meeting room here if necessary. She is also on solids - well done Musica for holding out to the full six months. We managed to five and we have no serious allergy problems in our house, fortunately, so I feel even my HV will approve.

Well girls, now I am no longer at home during the week except for some hurried hours, YOU are my virtual postnatal support group. I don't expect I'll see my SAHM NCT cohorts much any more, lucky things.

Good luck with the potty training, Musica! and lots of love to all. Corks! Long post, sorry.

HI all. Hope you all had great Christmases.

Musica I'm sorry if you DH is being a bit horrible. As I've mentioned before my DH is a bit off too just now and cleaning is one of his bugbears too. He always manages to make me feel like I've done nothing and it really gets to me. I think it must be a man thing - probably a guilty conscience. Hope things are OK between you now.

Had a completely mad christmas. Actually lost weight as I was generally at the sink when everyone was nibbling and DH spent all his time cooking. We barely saw the kids. SIL surpassed herself with her lack of help and also bought presents guarentted to get my back up so am determined we will go away next Christmas instead. However my friends came and it was lovely to have them around, helping out and generally being great company. Can't wait for spring-time camping now. Not that Christmas was horrible it was still great fun and had some lovely moments but I did end up in tears feeling unappreciated and left out.

However last night I *WENT OUT ON MY OWN!!!!!! The mums from DD1's mussic group decided to go out for a meal so I left DH with the kids (2 in bed and DD2 fast asleep) and had a lovely evening out. When I got home I felt like a different person. DH was so glum he didn't even wish me a nice evening (just patted my arm as if I was going to a funeral) and barely spoke when I got back (DD2 had woken up just before I got home) but I felt so chilled out it didn't matter. REally recommend it to everyone.

Oh and DD2 is starting solids too. One night over Chrsitmas she woke 8 times but there just wasn't time to get a meal routine going. Since the kids have gone back to school I've got myself organised and she's now on 2 meals a day and only waking once at night so it does make a difference. Have to admit I'm using jars though. Why is it I feel better about throwing away stuff which is overpriced than I do stuff whihc is cheap but I've put the effort into making. Oh well she's really scoffing it now so I've promised myself to make my own soon. How soon can they have scrambled egg? That would be easy.

Wills glad your holiday went OK but sorry about DDs toys. Can't beleive some people

Anyway better dash. I'm on parenting duty. DH insisted on going out shopping for some new clothes in return for his duties last night!!!!!!!

Sorry Marina meant to add that I really feel for you.Can't imagine having to leave DD2 at the mo. Got the info pack for DD1 starting school this week and that was bad enough. But I don't know how mums manage to get everything done when working. I think you are brill.

Have to say I've been thinking about you loads Marina as I know you had to return to work. V. nervous I'm about to join you and totally understand what you mean about mumsnet being the only post natal support. I've vaguely told work that I'm going into extended Maternity leave but have sort of implied that its because they don't really have a position for me yet. Truth is we completed on on the house last Thursday and I've spent the last week running around like a luney trying to balance developing a house and being a mum. Sometimes I wonder why I'm kidding myself however most of the time I've actually enjoyed it although there have been some extremely late nights trying to get things done whilst the kids were in bed. Bought the kitchen today and hopefully will order the bath suite next week. I've plumbers and electricians sending me quotes but most of them are fairly busy so this is where it could go seriously wrong. Oh well, nothing ventured nothing gained so to speak. dd1 starts preschool on Wednesday and it feels really funny that she wont be with me anymore even though she had been attending nursery 3 times a week - I've even felt a little tearful about it. If this house thing is going to work then I'm going to need my mornings free bare minimum so I've got to find something for dd2 - at the moment I've simply stuck my head in the sand but I must do something soon. Ideally I'd like someone that could be a little like a mums help, but there would be occassions where I'd have to leave and I'm not sure a mother's help is qualified enough to leave alone with dd2. A nanny seems like too much as I will be around a lot of the time (and extremely expensive) so I'm a little lost as to what to do. Oh well hopefully I have a little time yet.