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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

2 1/2 year old on naughty step for 3 hours - now asleep!

193 replies

kitpuss · 15/07/2011 14:01

My little boy spent has been on the naughty step for 3 hours, refusing to say sorry. Now he's asleep on the floor next to it.

We only had 10 minutes of tears during the whole 3 hours, he sat there pretty happily but kept saying "not say sorry".

I've not really used the naughty step much before and now have no idea what to do when he wakes up.

So to any experts on naughty step procedure - should I just forget about it and get on with the afternoon or should I still be trying to get him to say sorry?!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

usualsuspect · 15/07/2011 17:07

well the op had de registered now

so she won't be getting any support from MN any more will she

noddyholder · 15/07/2011 17:07

I think she has had enough of a bashing She hasn't used it before so that is probably the problem. I personally think its a silly thing I never had any 'system' with ds just no and the odd time when he ws older I sent him to his room. The naughty step is not effective because it doesn't translate into adult life and so teaches them nothing. It is a power thing which is why I don't liek it but I think the OP made a mistake and was not being abusive! He sounds feisty little thing to keep saying 'not say sorry' so I think it was a waste of time all round!

colditz · 15/07/2011 17:07

I'm off with the fairies because I'm horrified at a child sitting with no interaction apart from demands for ameaningless apology for 3 hours. Ok. I'm assuming it would be dandy for a nursery to do the same to your toddler and you wouldn't be horrified when informed, then? Or is it only not horrifying if it's someone else's child?

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colditz · 15/07/2011 17:08

She wasn't seeking support anyway, she was seeking justification of ill treatment.

usualsuspect · 15/07/2011 17:08

I read all the thread and saw the competitive nastiness all the way through

way before MN posted

PeopleCallMeTricky · 15/07/2011 17:09

The bad news is that the naughty step is bollocks.

The good news is that people have brought up their children for thousands and thousands of years without using it at all.

The other good news is that the best brought-up kids with the best attitude to life and the best relationship with their parents that I know, have never been punished by their parents. There is not really any need to have that kind of master-slave relationship with your children. You are free to treat them like reasonable people and they will generally start to respond as such, whatever super nanny says. She is a dick.

Geordieminx · 15/07/2011 17:10

Can you imagine if you picked your child up from nursery and found him sitting in the corner, and when questioned the nursery said that he had scribbled on another child's drawing and had refused to say sorry, and so they put him in time out, and he had been there since lunch time???.

I would be absolutely fucking livid!!! I certainly wouldn't send my child back, and would probably complain to OFSTED

yousankmybattleship · 15/07/2011 17:11

Let it go everyone. THe OP made a mistake and she admitted that mistake. What she did was silly but she had already realised that and was posting to ask for help. Her child didn't suffer any harm and probably had a very nice afternoon with Mummy's 100% attention! OP I hope you have a nice glass of wine tonight and put all this nastiness behind you.

WhenCanIWine · 15/07/2011 17:11

Totally different at nursery, as well you know. I have said things in anger to my children that I would sue a nursery for saying. Its a totally different type of relationship/degree of trust etc I apologised after, but felt bad. Im human. Are you really saying you have never, ever done anything you regret...? well done you if so. Not sure you are the right person to be advising others if that is teh case.

off now...other less judgemental threads to post on.

Georgimama · 15/07/2011 17:12

Did you usualsuspect? What a shame you didn't take the time to post a response you considered more appropriate then, merely decided to act like World Police late in the day.

colditz · 15/07/2011 17:12

Just because you have seen competative nastiness does not mean that everyone who posted was perpetrating competative nastiness. I am still in dispute with MNHQ about the deletion of my posts.

usualsuspect · 15/07/2011 17:13

FWIW I hate the bloody naughty step ,but I still think the OP didn't deserve the battering she got

Huffythetantrumslayer · 15/07/2011 17:15

I don't care what was written in the deleted posts, my first post was written in replies to op and what I could read. I disagree with colditz and others points of view. Is that ok? Or do we all have to agree with everything everyone says now?
Anyway op de regged now so I'm gonna leave thread alone to the people who want to carry on arguing.

usualsuspect · 15/07/2011 17:15

I read the thread at least an hour after it had been started , and read it all before I commented ,is that Ok with you Georgimama?

colditz · 15/07/2011 17:16

You've seriously said things to your children that you would sue a nursery for saying....?

Ok, maybe my parenting standards are rather high, because I would never dream of being so appalling that someone would sue me if they heard me.

I assume, that as this makes me unsuitable to comment on someone else's appalling parenting, that it is unusual.

colditz · 15/07/2011 17:17

Huffy I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but neither do I expect to be told I am "away with the fairies" because I disagreed back....

Quenelle · 15/07/2011 17:18

I read all the posts before MNHQ's intervention.

I agree entirely with yousankmybattleship.

WhenCanIWine · 15/07/2011 17:22

Ah yes, thought so, get the halo out for colditz. She has NEVER EVER shouted at her children! Congratulations. Im a shit mum since I have.

and yet yes, would be livid if I heard a member of staff shouting at them

different relationship entirely

you are being silly

Huffythetantrumslayer · 15/07/2011 17:22

Sorry colditz my last post was replying to georgimama's post. Not really aimed at you.

QueenofJacksDreams · 15/07/2011 17:23

Colditz when my DD was born I was new to the city I lived in and had no idea of how to get to any library or how to sign up I was a spoilt child and had no idea of how to do things myself, I read the government books cover to cover and still had no idea on how to parent perfectly they teach you about the basics not how to teach your child right from wrong. My HV was an evil cow because I was a teenage/overweight mother she had a go at me for having a packet of crisps in the living room saying I shouldn't be eating anything so fatty as I had baby weight to lose having given birth the week before. So I wouldn't of turned to her for help.

Great for you if you have support/the means to go out and find out how to be the perfect you're claiming to be I hope you never set a foot out of line with your child and never lose your patience incase you then have to deem yourself an abuser of your child.

No harm was done today the OPs DS won't even remeber it when he wakes up and the OP herself now knows that she was in the wrong and won't repeat it. Lesson learnt without the need for all the bitchiness.

Georgimama · 15/07/2011 17:28

That's absolutely fine usualsuspect. You chose not to post supportively to the OP but waded in after the event to have a go at those who did choose to respond. You can MN however you like. Apparently we can't though.

usualsuspect · 15/07/2011 17:29

I wasn't around to post a supportive comment when the thread was started

Can we only post if we are their from the beginning?

usualsuspect · 15/07/2011 17:29

there*

missmapp · 15/07/2011 17:29

Well said queenofjack, we are not all perfect, we all make mistakes, we all have bad days, hopefully we have more support than the op was offered

exoticfruits · 15/07/2011 17:31

I think that you just put it down to experience and conclude that the 'naughty step' isn't effective with your DC.

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