2 1/2 year old on naughty step for 3 hours - now asleep!

[kitpuss]

My little boy spent has been on the naughty step for 3 hours, refusing to say sorry. Now he's asleep on the floor next to it.

We only had 10 minutes of tears during the whole 3 hours, he sat there pretty happily but kept saying "not say sorry".

I've not really used the naughty step much before and now have no idea what to do when he wakes up.

So to any experts on naughty step procedure - should I just forget about it and get on with the afternoon or should I still be trying to get him to say sorry?!

I agree. I don't think anything Colditz said was a personal attack. And I think MNHQ was quick on the delete button.

Even if the OP is gone, hopefully another mother will learn from her very grave error.

No way should the comment about parenting classes have been deleted. It wasn't bitchy as far as I could tell, it was a genuine suggestion.

My four year old is "punished" when required by being told what he has done that is not on and asked to apologise. Very occasionally a particular privilege is withdrawn (such as playing on the computer). I don't do drawn out punishments and certainly wouldn't leave him sitting on a step for three hours. I don't honestly think he would stay put anyway. Perhaps that was the problem - the OP kept putting her son back on over and over for three hours because he would not sit for the two minutes?

In case you do come back, OP, my DS (2) is very bad at saying the word sorry and we were getting close to a stand-off situation over this when he was naughty. We switched to letting him make up in other ways. He'll quite happily hug, or stroke our faces or do something else to show he is contrite. That's enough at this age.

Yes I agree with that last comment, I would rather DS show contrition through his actions by kissing, hugging etc than actually come out with the words "I'm sorry".

I need to post because the OP made me very sad.

Jesus fucking christ.

I don't even know what to say.

Oh dear everyone get a grip!!! The op is not some cruel evil child abuser- she even said her child was not upset for very long just sitting there happily.

Yes it doesn't sound great but it was clearly an innocent mistake, the op trying to be a good parent and got it wrong. She is asking for advice not an onslaught.

Whoever said a 2yr old does not need discipline is talking rubbish too IMO. Discipline means to teach. Guidance is to teach. Some children need slightly firmer methods than 'No darling, we don't do that' etc etc. Mine included.

I used the naughty step on my 2yr old when his little brother came along and he would not stop trying to hit him. I gave a warning, 'No DS1 we do not hit, if you do that again you will go on the naughty step'. If behaviour repeated, I would remove him swiftly from the room , sit him on the step and say 'No DS we do not hit, hitting is naughty behaviour, sit here until I come to get you'. Leave for 2 minutes (1 min per yr of age) and return and explain again, hug (ask for sorry because it's good practice whether they understand or not, they soon will, but don't worry if they don't).

2yr olds like attention, naughty behaviour removes all attention, it is not cruel, it is setting boundaries. It is clear and concise if followed properly. It is fairer on them and other children if they learn boundaries.

ruby you did make me :) a bit.

I'm not going to respond to the OP as she won't come back.

ty I assume she kept him on the step as he wouldn't say sorry. 2 mins then 2 mins then 2 mins.

roufous I get my son to stop. I ask him to think about what he is doing and if it is the right thing. I explain why it is wrong. I ask him to do something to recover the situation (give toy back nicely, help clean up mess, give me a cuddle, whatever) and then move on to a positive distraction.

omg

I see someone else's comments about a parenting course has been deleted but honestly - it's a really good suggestion! there are a lot of good courses out there. I learned a lot on the one I did with the local sure start

I'd just like to clarify for the benefit of the OP (if she ever comes back), that my comment was deleted so that Geordieminx's foul post was not inadvertently repeated ie. I was not deleted for saying something unpleasant.

OP - not the end of the world, everyone makes mistakes, learn from them.

I do not understand how a 2.5 year old could sit on a step for 3 hours. Like others have echoed, mine can only manage a period of minutes. Something else must have been going on and it's all very concerning.

In terms of tactics, DD is reasonable at saying sorry, but I generally only insist on it for hitting, kicking, etc.

If she's having a tantrum, I tell her to go in the playroom/dining room and then it's up to her, she usually comes back fairly quickly when she's finished.

Distraction is a very good tool at this age.

OP, it's a MINUTE per year not an hour per year.

I'd try to do something nice this afternoon with your DS. Lots of cuddles and fun. It's all gone monumentally wrong but we've all cocked up before. Perhaps post in a different section asking about different disciple advice?

I meant discipline advice. Stupid fat fingers.

PMSL at Daisy.

"Oooh delete the nasty person"
"the nasty person said xxx"
"Ooops best delete my post incase anyone thinks I've said that"

How fucking old are you??? 10???

Torturing a child for three hours is somewhat overstating it, I think. She says He was sitting quite happily.

I don't think op mixed minutes per year with hours per year.

I think she believed that she should not let her child move until he said sorry.

I agree with OvO.

Repost with a question about naughty step rather than continuing with this thread.

@colditz

There was NO personal attack in my deleted post, there was NO profanity, and I want an explaination as to why it was deleted please.

Hi colditz - you did make a personal attack, we're afraid. Happy to mail you about it if you mail us at [email protected]

Hello again. Just to echo SophieRMumsnet's reminder of our Talk Guidelines. We will delete personal attacks that are reported to us.

Obviously, it's fine to express your opinion but not to attack anyone personally. We understand that this is a very emotive issue but perhaps the OP could do with some support/constructive advice?

I had to laugh at 'not say sorry'. My ds used to say 'not today' when he was about that age in response to anything I asked him to do. 3 hours is too long but the op doesn't sound like a monster just frazzled with a headstrong toddler.

She's had some. You deleted it.

The OP got it wrong ,I'm sure we have all made mistakes

give him loads of cuddles when he wakes up OP

but if you have any sense you will have hidden this thread

a 2.5 year old who willingly sits in a certain spot for 3 hours????

wanna swap op?

I'm sure the OP made a mistake although I wouldn't be able to leave my 2yo there for 3 hours! even if she stayed put I would feel like the worst mother