DD2 6 just told me something that has worried me...

[GruesomeShellChillingTortoise]

She just said that her 13yr old half Brother keeps pulling her trousers and knickers down and looking at her privates and has touched her(haven't asked her how). And when she is led on his bed he puts her knickers over her head so that his face is close to her privates.
I have just quickly spoken to him (because i didn't know what to say) and he said it was true. I have told him he mustn't do hings like that to his sister and that he shouldn't be looking/touching her privates.

Now i am worried and not sure if i should be doing/saying anything else to either DD2 or DS1.

Please help.

Bugger! Used Ds1's name again! Not the 1st time so i'm not too worried about it. My profile is blank so no really any way of anyone knowing who i am (i don't think). May have to name change once this is all over though! Will get it deleted if anyone thinks i really should.

wtf he cant change the dentist tell him tuff shite you will take ds or he changes!!

Reposting deleted message minus DS1's name! Decided to get the other one deleted too.

SS don't seem to be very involved at the moment. I haven't spoken to a SW since Girls spoke to them at school.
My friend did say she could have them but it would be at her house. It could take 2hrs + which means i may not be back until well past DDs bedtime. I think daytime is better for DS1 too rather than evening when he has been at school all day.
I have told XP i am free any daytime in the week. It all depends on what he is doing/if he can get time off work. Could have been done Weds morn but XP has the dentists at 12! Can't possibly change that can he!!

And now i can't see where i used DS1's name before unless MN would have edited it? Probably just my tired eye sight!

i think it was removed a good few pages ago

I can't see a box with message deleted at posters request for it though.

Will text XP tomorrow to see if i can take DS1 if he can't make it!

your post was deleted, OP

btw, still lurking and wishing you well x

Take care :)

Tortoise - I have only just seen this thread :(

What a nightmare for all of you.

I hope it all gets sorted out soon, for everyone's sake. x

Lurking and thinking of you and the DCs.

Another lurker who is still wishing you well!

DS1 will be interviewed tomorrow, what time depends on XP! I can't take him on my own in case i tell him the right things to say as i am essentially a witness. (Not that i would do that but they have to be careful!)
So i have txt XP to see what the earliest time is that he can do tomorrow after 12. Then i just need to arrange for someone to have the other 3 after school in case not back by then! Depends on XPs dentist appointment too!! There is no way i am going to miss being with Ds1. He needs to know i am there for him too!

Bloody XP and his sodding dentist appointment - you'd think he could just change it.

I agree that it's really important for you to be there with DS1, I'm sure he's wondering what the hell is going on. Frankly I think he just sounds a bit naive and has done something very stupid and not intentionally 'abusive'. If he was a year or so younger everyone would have said it was just kids being kids and he should be told it's not appropriate etc. It seems like he's missed a developmental stage, which, given the rough time you have all had, isn't suprising. It's just very sad that it has impacted upon your DD's and now SS/Police etc are involved. I feel sorry for DS as well as the DD's. He's only young and he does need your support so much.

I hope that they can get it sorted out soon and he can come home - this isn't any good for any of you x

Chipingin I agree, i don't think he meant any harm. DD's weren't scared or distressed by it they just said they didn't like what he had done. I wish XP would reply to my text! I need to know what time he can do.

Pixieonaleaf We are ok. DD's said yesterday they miss DS1 but are happy he isn't doing what he was doing anymore. DS2 is fine but i think he would like to know more about what is going on. He has hardly been told anything. Think he is finding that hard.

No has told me anything about what to tell DS2. I briefly told him that DD's had said Ds1 had been looking at their bits but no more than that. I don't think he really needs to know at the moment. Hard for him but hopefully all will be sorted soon and we can get help and move on from it.
Police man doesn't think Ds1 will be criminalised over it but has to know it was wrong and hopefully get some help.

your exp is being very unreasonible. maybe he is scared but he needs to talk to you, dont text him ring him untill he answers the phone.

Tort - (MNtotoro here) there isnt a rule book for this kind of thing. XP is bound to irritate you just by being him but dont let it add to your worries. If he hasnt texted back by 3.00 then call him to clarify.

Hope it goes well for you.

Tortoise - he's had his chance to reply. I would call/text him and tell him what time it's going to be. I'm sure someone from school/police/SW can get DS1 where he needs to be, when he needs to be there if ExP is going to keep messing around. You don't need this extra stress.

Have you found someone who can have the others for you?

I need advice.
XP replied with my text by saying DS1 has a school trip tomorrow.
Then didn't reply to my message asking what trip.
DS1 text after school so i asked him about the 'trip'. Turns out to be the very small museum in our town! Not important at all!
So i text XP saying please tell me what time we can go tomorrow.
He said that he is off work all day but the police man said he didn't want DS1 to miss school (No police said if we do it later it would save him missing a day off school!)Then he said plus i think you are hiding something.

I asked him what? He said don't know but someone said i didn't want him at the interview.
Well, as it is only me, him and his MOTHER who know about it, who could have told him that!!! I wonder!

Oh and DS1 overheard her telling XP she hopes DS1 and DS2 have to live with them!

Do i phone him to sort it out (if i can keep my temper) or phone the police man to sort it out through him? I can catch a train tomorrow if need be, i just need to know a time!

Call the police and tell them what the XP has told you. Tell the police your XP seems to be stalling and that you are very keen to get the whole interview done and over with, and ask them to intervene and insist to XP that DS1 be brought in tomorrow. Don't mince words. Make it clear to the police that XP is being obstructive, not communicating with you, and not co-operating, possibly hostile to the police involvement and to the investigation. (Because he is, and he and his mother seem to be playing some long game of their own here but don't say that to the police, just the part about being obstructive, unco-operative and hostile the police won't be interested in the general family drama but they want to get their part of this done).

Then text XP and tell him to stop playing games, that it is very important to get the interview done. Don't be distracted by his accusations and smoke screens. Don't engage with him on any matter except the time of the interview.

i think that maybe you need to just make the decission for ds to miss school as this taking to long and call the police first thing to see if they can give you a lift.

this has hilited that you need to find out if ds can come and stay at yours at all, if so get him home for a couple of nights after the interview. if you you dont get the interview done tomorow go to ss office in person and get some answers. you cant let this drag on any longer.

gino I can't make that decision when Ds1 is not with me. I can't force XP to bring DS1 to me to take (plus i have been told i can't take him).
I know the policeman dealing with it is in at 12 tomorrow. Not sure what time he finishes tonight. So difficult when kids are all around will probably have to leave it until tomorrow if XP hasn't got in touch by then.