DD2 6 just told me something that has worried me...

[GruesomeShellChillingTortoise]

She just said that her 13yr old half Brother keeps pulling her trousers and knickers down and looking at her privates and has touched her(haven't asked her how). And when she is led on his bed he puts her knickers over her head so that his face is close to her privates.
I have just quickly spoken to him (because i didn't know what to say) and he said it was true. I have told him he mustn't do hings like that to his sister and that he shouldn't be looking/touching her privates.

Now i am worried and not sure if i should be doing/saying anything else to either DD2 or DS1.

Please help.

Girls have been fine. I am feeling a bit down today not knowing what is going to happen next.

I think you need to try and ask them exactly what they think will happen next. Surely they have protocol for this kind of thing? As both the police and SS what they think the chain of events will be. Also remember to ask SS if they will help with a housing exchange application.

Hope your day goes OK, my thoughts are with you. :)

Tortoise sorry to hear your feeling down - it is understandable though the emotions you must have gone through this past week.

As Loopy says contact the police and SS and find out the chain of events from where you are at the moment to the end. They have the experience in all this and they should help you as well.

Stay strong you have been amazing.
The strength you have shown so far is a remarkable example for your DC and hopefully there is an end in sight.

Thinking of you

Hi, sorry, wrote my previous post after only reading the first page. Am new to the forum so didn't realise there were more pages to it.
Duh!

I was told yesterday the police will be phoning me today to sort out arrangements for DS1. Hope they ring soon or i will ring them! Will give them until lunch time i think as would prefer them to ring me. Not heard from SS all week.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you. :)

Thinking of you.

Just phoned up and she is at a meeting this morning. Left my number for her to ring back.
DD's wouldn't go with XP and i don't think he would take them. Just have to hope to see him tomorrow if the interview goes ahead. Will also see him when XP picks up DS2 tomorrow night for his normal contact.

I am feeling really . I have no idea what is happening tomorrow other than DS1 has to go in for 10.30. Found out from XP! I missed a call just after i left to pick DC up from school and no call since (checked 1471). I have tried ringing but the person i was told to speak to wasn't picking up her phone. I really wanted to be a bit prepared for what was happening tomorrow and now i know bugger all! They have my mobile number but no one has tried calling me on it.

Tried asking XP what they said and he says he doesn't know what is happening either .

Tortoise I really wish I could say something that would help but the words I have seem inadequate.

Hopefully Loopy and others will be along soon.

Thinking of you and hopefully you will be able to see DS1 tomorrow

Now XP has asked me if i think DS1 did what DD's are saying he did!

oh i feel for you, I realy do I think the problem is the waiting and maybe this will take a week or so more to come out as to what is going to happen and what to expect. I would def call ss tommorow untill you can get to talk to someone.

basically you need to know where you stand with contact between ds1 and all of you, I can see why you are not allowed to see him maybe find that out and have him home for tea a few nights. but i do think you will probably have a little while to wait as it depends on looking at the statements that have been made by the dc's and assessing risk.

you are doing well.

sorry ment to say i cant see why you wouldnt be alowed to see him, if that where the case they would have made that very clear.

Right, so the interview is at 10.30?

Regarding the fact they didn't contact you, that is not OK. Doe you and ex share parental responsibility? If it is only you, then I would file a complaint. Having said that, you have bigger fish to fry.

Baby crying, back soon sorry xxx

OK, interview at 10.30. Did they ask exp to attend? Did they say where it will take place? I'd just go there, and make sure I was a bit early to be honest.

I don;t think there's really anything you can prepare for, apart from questions to put to the police after the interview.
For example:

What do they think they have 'found'?
What will they do if they decide it was for sexual gratification? will they prosecute? What will this entail?
If they decided not to, or if they think it was innocent, what then?

You might want to ask XP what DS1 has said in the past week, and also what he has said in return. If you calmly remind him that DS admitted to you that it had happened, he shouldn't ask you that question again.

XP is giving me a lift in with him and DS1 (god i hate his driving!)so we will both be there. I don't know if either of us will be allowed to be with him when he is interviewed. We have joint residency because of past issues with XP2 but I'm not sure if that meant he was giving PR or not. I think they should have phoned both of us and i was told Wednesday that someone would ring me today to discuss Friday.

Am more nervous about tomorrow than i was about Wednesday!

i can undersatand that you will be more nervouse. i think you need to work with ds and exp on this, be strong together.

I will try but XP is so annoying! lol!

and gritt teeth

XP is probably as freaked out by this situation as you are. However irritating he is, he is DSs Dad and if he can provide any support whatsoever to DS then you need to let him.

You should speak to the person in authority tomorrow and find out why they didnt call you, what are the next steps, and what is the timeframe for any decisions/actions to be taken.

Hope you are all bearing up ok.

Are you worried that XP will have told him to lie?
If he does, you might want to think about what to do about it.

Having said that, I'm sure t will be fine. DS is still a child, and they should treat him like one.

I've got my fingers crossed that it'll all go well, I'm sure gino and the others have too. Take care. :)

def have everything crossed.

I will let him support DS1 of course .
I don't think he would tell him too lie. As far as i know he hasn't asked him about it.
I think it is the not knowing what to expect, that is worrying me. I knew what would be done with DD's as DS1 went to the same place to record what happened with XP2. DS1 is going to the police station as far as i know. Which is much scarier.

Will let you know tomorrow how he gets on.
Thank you for all your support.

Please try to get some sleep. I'm sure tomorrow you will be wondering why you were so worried.

:)