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Original poster

I am sitting in with Shiney and her plumber has just texted her to say

536 replies

BitOfFun · 12/12/2009 23:55

...from "Hello, hope you're well, if i don't see you beforehand, hope you have a nice Christmas"

after a brief comment along the lines of "You'll be pleased to know my plumbing is in full working order" (possibly with my evil encouragement...), he has now replied saying

" I want to kiss with tongues. I want to kiss, stroke, lick and suck boobs and nipples. I want to gently stroke the inside of thighs." There is more, but I'm sure you can imagine...

What?!

Any thighs and nipples? Not hers in particular then? I am hoping she will send back "I want to suck penises"...do you dare us?

OP posts:
PoppityMerryGentlemen · 13/12/2009 00:35

I think he wants bumsex

YouKnowStuffingIsForLunch · 13/12/2009 00:35

Grand Vizier? Have you tidied the lego?

PoppityMerryGentlemen · 13/12/2009 00:37

The lego is now in a giant phallus, I couldn't help it, it has such girth....

LetThereBeRock · 13/12/2009 00:37

Cups of tea? I make the full Scottish breakfast for our workmen and what do I get in return? Sod all. Not so much as a bloody wink.

PoppityMerryGentlemen · 13/12/2009 00:37

Sorry Queed Ma'am

BackUpYourPhotosNow · 13/12/2009 00:37

stuffing!!!!

methinks this plumber is a contortionist! Or is hoping you are!off to bed now bfore mrbackup gets too cross that im still on mn.

Night all..

LittleMontyontheDustyRoad · 13/12/2009 00:37

STEP AWAY FROM THE SHOWER

Ohmigod I can't watch.

Original poster
BitOfFun · 13/12/2009 00:38

I have no mascara left. This is painful

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 13/12/2009 00:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SazzlesOnASled · 13/12/2009 00:38

I reckon it's a Christmas special - extra text information services. Receive now, pay next time

PoppityMerryGentlemen · 13/12/2009 00:39

Are you replying? Are your pipes vibrating in anticipation?

LetThereBeRock · 13/12/2009 00:39

Yes please!

TrinityReindeer · 13/12/2009 00:40

you have to be kidding

shall I continue?

like he;s checking he hasn't offended you before he digs in with the really dirty stuff lol

SazzlesOnASled · 13/12/2009 00:40

He is obviously quite dextrous with his texting finger [double bleugh]

YouKnowStuffingIsForLunch · 13/12/2009 00:40

The answer? "Nah, you're alright"

Original poster
BitOfFun · 13/12/2009 00:40

The hard tool fascinates me. Is it a monkey wrench?

OP posts:
BackUpYourPhotosNow · 13/12/2009 00:40

go on send him a link

You know you want to......

RumourOfAHurricane · 13/12/2009 00:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LittleMontyontheDustyRoad · 13/12/2009 00:41

Cue music.

I said.............

STEP AWAY FROM THE SHOWER

Original poster
BitOfFun · 13/12/2009 00:41

Trinity, and Stuffing, I am HOWLING

OP posts:
YouKnowStuffingIsForLunch · 13/12/2009 00:41

Poppity I understand that you needed the lego arranged for the current situation, althoug as queed I must inform you that the girth is more likely to be... smaller than anticipated.

PoppityMerryGentlemen · 13/12/2009 00:42

Which hard tool is he employing for this particular plumbing situation?

YouKnowStuffingIsForLunch · 13/12/2009 00:42

shine on, who says "yes" to arse stretching?! Who?!

RumourOfAHurricane · 13/12/2009 00:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

dizzycringles · 13/12/2009 00:43

this has got to be at least quote of the week if not in MP's round up

'how the resession isn't affecting Shiney's plumber and the extra servicing he offers'