MN Little Italy 11

[Rosa]

San Remo Fans Unite......
Welcome , Ciao ,

Penthe was in style and beauty at the beg of the evening. Talking about clothes whilst we were bitching. lol
Franca is unusually away, and Brange has disappeared, getting a bit worried now.

buonasera, it's been really quite here today, do we really have RL?

anyway, more pain in the passport worls, british one this time. I filled in the on-line form on Mon AM, so should have got it tue, but nothing yet, so rang them and they told me to do it again at the PO so it'll be quicker (though I might go there direct as it says on the website that the first time it can take up to 6 wks). oh, and did you know that if you're not married and DC was born before 2006 you need to naturalise them? DD's fine as she was born after that, so as long as DP's name is on birth cert, then she's British, but not DS. I have to get a special stamp from the consulate to say that I have the right to stay here indefinetly and then apply for DS's naturalisation... not sure what the difference is, as DP's name is on his cert too! but if we get married, than it's all fine, DS will automatically be British too .

sorry to bore you with more bureaucracy, they really are as bad as each other...

DP's off tonight to get me a "new" car from his parents and tomorrow I'll be running around to PO, photographer, shops, school, b-day party... thank got it's Friday...

oh, and there was a boy DS used to play with at nursery I just could not stand!! but felt sorry for him too, as he only behaved the way his mum did..

I think the diff is that naturalisation now is extremely expensive, smthng like 500pounds . it didn;t apply to us because although dd1 was born out of wedlock I did get naturalisation before meeting dh so she was british through ME rather than him

javier I think as well that dd1 is never deliberately nasty or mean, spiteful or manipulative. PFB? think not. I saw very little of your ds but he did not seem any of these things. and yes the one I dislike are exactly those - that do naughty things and then say it was my dd - because she's dopey for example. or have massive tantrums because they want a biscuits etc. anyway my dd1 can be a right pita when she's tired and then she won;t share a thing. but also they are not like this all the time. some days they play beautifull and in others they just don;t click. all this makes me really appreciative of my friends' mums who had me for entire weeks during the summer. not sure I could do that. maybe I will if that is the price to pay fpr some peace and quite from boring preteenagers. and I know in some I was pita supreme - I'm still embarassed by it now. I bet she doesn;t remember it.

of course we can have playdates... we can slag eachother off later together.

hey girls, sorry it's taken me ages to drop in - started reading enormous thread on nurseries, and spent ages composing a brilliantly balanced post (all in the dark as i lie here next to my bf-ing/sleeping DD, and then my computer goes mad. our internet connection has been up and down all day. anyway, probably for the best, as otherwise i will end up checking the thread the whole time.

yes, where is brange?

i think the other thing about kids who visit is that you do things differently from the way their mums and dads do it. i vividly remember visiting friends' houses and finding it so strange how they would do things - little things - like how they lay the table, or something; or the house would smell different to my house, etc. anyway, what i mean is, sometimes kids probably act funny in other people's houses because of this. it's like, when you're little, you think your family's way is the only way - and it's mind-blowing to discover it aisn't so!

or they are just little s**ts!

i know this is old by the way, but i wanted also to say to - can't remember who posted first - i think it is nonsense that the mother/daughter relationship has to be fraught. that's projection of the highest order, i reckon.

oh boo - i missed you. oh well.

notte. sleep tight all.

£500!?!?! better get married then!!!

hmm, yes, brange hasn't been around for a while...

I'm off too. was checking furnitures.

now penthe you make me feel guilty. of course they have a million and one reason to be pita, the first is that they are little children and are brave enought to go to other people's house. they are not little s**ts obviously. I just think it is fair enough for the mum in question to feel fed up and exhausted on MN by a playdate day that didn't go smoothly (if your child is a pita you know what to do, other people children not so, plus you cannot rant at them ).

anyway ciao notte.

cannot sleep.

oh, pippi - i didn't mean to make you feel guilty! i was just thinking about the number of times i probably said strange things to other people's mums: "your house smells funny (ie. not like mine)" or "we do things differently" and came across as a little toe-rag, and wound the mum up! you absolutely should rant on MN, and feel exhausted if the playdate didn't go so smoothly.

i'm sorry if i came across as pious, or anything.

and - au contraire! - i was very frequently a little s**t - as my confessions of childhood crimes earlier will demonstrate - though most often to my own parents!

heeellooo

what's up everyone?

I am packing, we're going skiing tomorrow. ypiieeee. except.. the packing gosh i HATE it. i feel like I am organising the russian campaign.

what's everyone up to?

oh no penthe twasnt you. I do feel a bit guilty myself for having such thoughts tbh after the exhaustion's gone - I know it's not the kiddies' fault. still one cannot help it, especially when pms . I was just pondering over. it's quite strange to come to the realisation that my friends' parents thought I was a little s**t myself - I thought I was charming and funny and ubercool !

oh lucky you! where are you going? haven't been skying for ages. maybe next year . how are you going to do with the babies. have you got the nanny with you - oh bliss!

we are fine. grumpy though.

it is not the funny comments i mind, or saying the food i cooked is disgusting, not sayming please, thank you, putting dirty chocolaty hands over my sofa, they are little, and in someone else;s house. What I mind is when they clearly do somethng nasty to ds and laugh in my face. Or when they constantly snatch or push.

where are you going skiing, bs? hope you are less stressesd.

We are in a pickle here: dd normally sleeps through the night, except recently she wakes up for a feed around 5ish. We want to move her in with ds.

Benefits of moving her:

• we wont;' hear her if she wakes up early, she will resettle herself and will wake up more around 7ish, no broken nights
• we will get our bedroom back for reading and other things [wink
• if she is in with ds, it might strengthen the bond between ds and dd

Disadvantages:

• she might nto resettle herself, i will have to get out of bed, go to her room and feed her
• she might wake ds up and then he will be tired for school
• ds wont' be able to play in his room when is off school during her long nap time
• it will be the end of her newborn stage

What do you think? What did you do?

at skiing the snow this year must be fantastic ... Well maybe next year !

Javier its up to you but I will not be moving dd2 until she goes through the night 100% - I have cold marble floors and am not plodding into another room to get her / settle her etc. I am hoping round 12 months ish. DD1 slept through at 9 months but minrirompe rosa is different !!

but what if she is not sleeping through because we are there and feed her as soon as we make a squeak, as we cannot bear the noise, but the noise is a lot more bearable if it is next door...[evil mum emoticon]

I make dh pick her up if it is not a feed time as she sees me smiles and then if I don't pick her up to feed her she screams!!!
I tend to do the shusssh and then if needed put her music on . Mind you she is only 3 mths.
Have you tried giving her water and not milk when she wakes ?

we did that at 6 weeks and then she slept through...
i must say that at 5am she has bit of milk only, so not that hungry, but enough to put her off her breakfast at 7am which makes me think that she is waking up at 5 more out of habit. Will try the water again. i may peek at the gina book

to be honest i also would like to move her because i think it would be nice for ds..but then i wonder if bedtimes would be a nightmare, as he likes to read before drifting off, whereas she falls asleep collapsing after screaming, except yesterday she acually drifted off because she wasn't overtired...boh!

GF will tell you not to cuddle her , and probably to ignore her ..sorry I am not a gf fan at all - I read hers and the baby whisperer and then used common sense !!!!

javier - that kind of behaviour sounds horrible! you're right. (for the record, even though I was a tiny demon, I never did that! )

I'm wondering about what to do with DD too. She sleeps in bed with us at the moment - almost entirely because I am too lazy to get up in the night. However, we're moving soon, and I'm debating whether to try to get her to sleep in a cot... Hmmm... But she sleeps so well at the moment, I'm scared of messing that up...

javier, remind me how old are your dcs? i really want to move mine in together, tbh the only thing that's stopping me is not so much the night (how much worse can it get???) but more the nap- they both still take a nap but sometimes not quite at the same time and i am afraid they'll just disturb each other too much during the day. See, i have accepted my nights are going to be crap till they leave home, but i am not ready to give up that hour/90 minutes of peace at lunchtime!!!

we are going to austria. in one of those holtes with childcare. but then MIL is coming too (uninvited). trying hard to see the positive, ie extra help with the kids... maybe, she's a bit weird my MIL...

another kid who came round, older, spent the whole time putting ds down and looking at his stuff with contempt ,i was very proud when ds said "don't ask him to the house anymore". I do wonder if ds does the same at other people's houses.

Gf's methods are sort of old fashioned common sense ones, no? Obviously i do not cuddle a baby who wakes me up at bloody 5, i feed her to make her go quiet, but i don't do what my friend does which is to put the light on, have a little play, etc. and then moan that baby only went back to sleep at 10am.
Both dcs slept through the night following the gf's routine more or less, the main principle of the routines is that a baby needs to have a nap at least 2 hours after waking and to try to engineer the sleeps so the big one is in the middle of the day. Infact her routines follow a child' s natural sleep pattern or need for sleep. But the books are badly written ,make motherhood appear like an awful emotionless passage. I think her book could have been made of 1 page, ie that after 3 months babies must never stay awake more than 2 hours otherwise they go berserk.

ds is 5 and baby 5m. and yours bs?
penthe why do you want to get her out of bed if you like it and she sleeps well? i personaly could never sleep with the dcs because i need my space to do other things, but if it gives you pleasure keep her there, no? I suspect that she will scream a bit when you move her to the cot. I know friends who still sleep with their 5 year olds becasue the dcs screamed too much when they tried the cot and they could not cope with the screaming. Others got the kids out of their bed with little screaming. Another friendws' girl announced at the age of 3 that she would not be sleeping with them anymore and she wanted a big girl's bed. whatever makes you comfortable is the best i suppose.

javier I am pretty sure (children guru emoticon) that she wakes up through habit and then because she's awaken you she stays awake and eats. I am 100% sure dd2 woke/wakes up around that time everyday but because nobody cares hears her she talkes to the bees, to herself, laughs, winges then she goes off again.
we moved her at 5 months like her sister when I stopped bf, to be fair and because she's one floor down which at first seemes a bit strange and evil (she's next door to dd1 though). incredible how they don't wake eachother up when they scream. maybe only the first couple of days.

BS please do have a hot chockolate and a slice of those hazelnut cakes for me pplease.

Have fun BS
We live about an hour's drive from a ski resort, and back in january we went and invested in snow gear for the entire family, and dug out the old sledge from MIL's cantina. That was the last weekend everyone was healthy so we still haven't been!

Not posted for ages, DD is off sick again and have been going crazy stuck in with 2 DCs. At least DS is eating again though, it turned out it was his canines coming through, I should listen to my own advice.

How is your weaning going BS?