MN Little Italy 11

[Rosa]

San Remo Fans Unite......
Welcome , Ciao ,

need to know what you thnk - we were discussing mum and daughter relationship with a friend who has a 7 year old - they have and always have had a fraught relationship, since she was a baby, girl is quite sneaky and manipulative and naughty too, especially with her little brother. My friend says all her friends have similar relationships with their daughters, and that i will see, once my dd is older. I said I refuse to thijnk that all relationships mum and daughter need to be so difficult, and that they are all different surely. I also said i dreaded the idea of having a relationship like she does with her gilr, with mine. Mind my friend was not offended by this, i know her well, and she does not get offende. My point is you who have girls, some of you have a good bond with your girls, no? Do you find it more difficult because they are females? I am hoping to have a good relationship with dd the way i have with ds. Why there are women out there who dread their girls?

i would have asked phil collins why, oh why, do you wear such boring cardigans?
i would have given my number straight away to clooney, not that i would have expected a call...dream on...

Javier I think that is complete rubbish - All dc's go through a difficult phase irrelevant of sex . My sisiter had a terrible relationship with my parents from about 15 - 17 . I had a bad time round 11 ish however I had a normal relationship with my parents ( both) I was dads little girl and still am all size 52 of me . I don't recall any difficult times nor has my mum told me of any ..and she would have done.
I see my SIL with a pain of a daughter but that is 100% their fault for the way they have brought her up she is as you have described your friends daughter. However I see the daughters of a friend of mine age 7 &5 who are 100% wonderful and normal children with normal hang ups / tantrums, but they have a great relationship with their mum.
I honestly hope to have a great relationship with my girls and will work like mad at it - In this household I am the one with more pazienza than papa but DD1 adores her papa in a way that I see other dads are jealous !!

Giorgino the giornalista? ... lol lol lol. Wasn't he at some stage presenting also a dopo festival? I think he's been ostracized recently, but can't remember for the life of me why.

Javier, unfortunately the idea that mother and daughter relationships can be problematic is quite widespread. My relationship with my mother is quite complicated, for instance, despite the fact that it is plain to see that she loves me deeply.
I bonded immediately with my dd, for various reasons, one of them being precisely that she was in fact a girl. I think that we've always had a very close relationship me and her, I think I'm still her favourite person... I'm determined to do the best I can to help her grown into a happy woman. I'm really fond of dd!

I once chatted to vincent gallo during a party more than 10 yrs ago. And on my way home, I got chatted up by a model (still remember his name), he was stunning and I'm still regretting I wasn't bold enough to take him home with me

Chuh- shame island didn't burn while the dreadful Phil was on it. (and even better, while his very good friend Mick Hucknall was visiting)

Rosa, am beginning to imagine now that your dh knows dp's friend who does that sort of thing with boats up there somewhere....wouldn't it be funny- btw just did pancakes with sep egg whites as you said- they were de-lish.

Javier- utter bollix- (I fervently hope- as otherwise it means my time is running out and I have about another year of tranquility) I'd say it was more to do with a mother's expectations of a relationship being foisted onto a child (boy or girl) and those expectations not being lived up to....I often thing filial relationships here are so much more complicated than they need to be- we were talking at the last birthday party at nursery, and this woman whose dd will be in dd's class next year was saying to me stuff like "Oh, I can see your daughter is so tranquila, mentre la mia, no....che devo fare." Then she goes on to release snippets like the child refuses to go to bed until midnight, even in the week, and I'm like- well that's why she's not tranquila, she's bloody exhausted....."but she won't"....yes, sometimes mine tries to refuse as well, but there are limits in place and they don't get overstepped....so many parents (not just here) do this mad see-sawing of spoiling them and catering to every whim and then suddenly, with no word of warning to the child, boom, punishment for doing something the kid probably didn't know it shouldn't do anyway....bah.

Wiffle waffle- but I reckon as well, that 7 is a very young age to already have a fraught relationship between mother and daughter......nah- t'is the mother.....

Yup- that Giorgino- he was crap itself at the dopo festival- made a laughing stock of himself.....he was also rolled in when Panariello did his show from down here....that was funny, all the town bigwigs fighting each other for tickets....every person in the hall was an assessore of some form or other.

Yes, I'm shocked by the amount of people who are totally clueless (imo) about parenting. In that they just don't parent fullstop .

made pancakes and now I've tried giving DD some cooked pear.... well, I thought she'd had a good feed after her 3hr nap!! 3 WHOLE HOURS!!! don't think she's ever slept that long during the day!! anyway, after the first spoon, she kept tight lipped and blew rasberries to it . it was quite funny, will try boring baby rice tomorrow then.... still in the end she probably had about 1-2 spoonfuls...

oh bless her sunflower so sweet!

javier must put dds in the bath. will respond later.

thank you girls, i agree with what you say buch, i just refuse to think that just because my dd is a girl, she will hate/love me, be clingy with me the whole time, scared of everything new, basically unhappy from toddlerhood. Surely it is the parenting, also if we expect the relationship to be fraught, well, surprise surprise, it will be. She is a good friend and i told her right and clear, that with dd i intend to have a positive relationship, also if you have a bad relationship with a kid, it is not the kid;s fault even considering that there are different temperaments...i love my ds dearly so, i want the same with baby Dara.

It also pisses me off that so many horrible things mums say about girls, ohhhh they are so much more bitchy, so much more emotionally manipulative, so much more demanding, or what is said about boys, being prevalently aggressive yobs.

DAMON, get your dds out of the bath and come over here. I must say you and your lovely dd seemed very close and loving.

I love the first tastes when they try to get the tongue round things and they blow bubbles in it all . Try putting pear in the baby rice with a bit of ebm or ff milk . Worked a treat for me ...OH I only have another couple of months of milk and then will have to dig out the big bibs again !
Bucharest what does your friend do up here?
We never managed pancakes and will do tom ( ok I know a day late) but we went out - and got back too late - It was really cold the Bora wind got up It took me 40 mins to warm my thighs up ( I thought going out for an hour will wear a mini skirt - no tights stilettoes )

i love le pappine! today i made avocado (again!), sweet potato, broccoli and pear, she hoovered it looking as perplexed as ever.[mamma del mulino bianco emoticon]

yes they're bathed and bedded!

as you know I was terrified of having girls because I had imagined exactly your friend scenario. well how wrong I was.
I A D O R E my dds. I am going to talk about dd1 because older not because of preferences. I think is bollocks! I had a great relationship with my mum till 17 when I became a bit wild due to divorce, I think, and normal teenage rebellion. till then we used to do loads together, shopping, watching sanremo, going on holiday or whatever, anything. now I am a bit stroppy with her the first few days when we meet but I think is a bit of marking the territory on my part tbh. but we talk a lot about almost anything. I wouldn't say she's my friend because she is my mum. but I am very close.

I have truly the best time when I'm with dd. we used to go for lunch once a week since she was one and I love going places with them. I truly enjoy their company. last sunday I think it was one of the best evening of my life.

I think if you treat them with respect and like real persons and with the authority the role of a parent requires and they need (like you all say) it shouldn't be a problem.

thanks Javier, yes we are very very close. so did you and supercoolsurferdude though, so it'll be the same with minidara!

my most weird pappina was: left over roast beef, brussels sprouts, potatoes and... wait for it... some melon left in the fridge! all relative looked horrified, dd2 wolfed it down as usual.

bucharest pancake with separate egg white was my (well jamie O.) invention!

A help: what question should I ask when visiting bitchy school tomorrow?

questionS

lol at minidara!!
i agree that a mum is not meant to be a friend, she is the mum!

Questions i would ask are different versions of these:
who the hell do you think you are?
why are you so up your own bum?
what's your problem?

In all seriousness i think i asked to have a look at the class, and asked about their antibullying polici , i guess i expected schools around here to be full of bullies. And then i asked the name of hte hamster. And how they support different abilities, so if your kid is a moron, what will they do, or if she is a gifted and talented what will they do. And a bit about how they discipline kids. To be honest the school was so warm and kids so serene that i mumbled questions i had got down from a mumsnet thread but i knew it was the right place for us. Have a look at a few schools, to get a term of reference.

Cannot believe there is presenter called Giorgino, lol.

I mumbled as well when viewed first school as was lovely and thought perfect for dd. just this time since I made all this fuss I wouldn;t waasnt to go and if they ask me whether I want to know smthng I can only say 'nice toilets' or smthing.

the first set of questions is the one I obviously had in mind.

it's true that some of days i have with ds are deffo some of the best of my life, such good company. Beats a day in the office any day.

yes mums are just mums. however when we go out now I feel as if we are friends. (i promise I won;t go clubbing with them )

Beats a day in the office any day - definitely!

lol at nice toilets.

maybe you should ask them if they think your a paedophile, it will go down very well with that mumsnetter with mental health problems.

god, noonooonoo, not clubbing with your dd, and not sleeping with her friends. that's definetely frowend upon. i believe even brangelina who i imagine to have been around a lot would say nonono.

Sorry to interrupt your discussion, ladies (know nothing about schools!), but...

By golly, she's got it!

Ha - have finally worked out how to reduce photos in order to put them up. So, for a short time only, I've put a photo of DD on my profile page...