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Original poster

Prostitutes and the past

279 replies

cringe · 20/01/2005 17:54

Did any of your husbands/partners/ sleep with a prostitute before they met you? How do you feel about it? Does it put you off them? Or is it rare? Its making me wonder if he is a sweaty old desperate pervert. Help.

OP posts:
Original poster
cringe · 20/01/2005 20:15

pmsl

OP posts:
DHhadABJfromAbangkokLADYboy · 20/01/2005 20:16

Oh he realised he had had the BJ - just not the lady boy bit
Don't worry hun!

Original poster
cringe · 20/01/2005 20:17

So everybodies partners husbands would never do it as they have principles and are ethically and morally opposed to it. Except the one man i want, bah, don't believe it.

OP posts:
happymerryberries · 20/01/2005 20:18

Ellaroo, thay may well have started their prostitution when they were under the legal age. This is not saying that anyones partner is a paedophile, just that these women have no choice. Often because they have been trafficed as childern

DHhadABJfromAbangkokLADYboy · 20/01/2005 20:18

But are they telling the truth?

Caligula · 20/01/2005 20:19

Sorry I'm lost now, are who telling the truth?

piffle · 20/01/2005 20:20

mine hasn't
I'd feel pretty intrigued but depending on how it was reasoned and the whys and wherefores I might be either repulsed or ok about it...

Heathcliffscathy · 20/01/2005 20:21

lets face it cringe: if you knew your wife felt like this about it...would you tell????

morningpaper · 20/01/2005 20:21

Oooh TOTALLY agree with HMB.

Unless he was confessing that he was really f*cked up at the time and he saw how wrong his actions were. Prostitution is just viewing women as a commodity. Do we REALLY think that thai women who sell sex for money are well educated and happily living in nice penthouse flats and choosing this as their line of work? Thailand has a record of trafficking women for sex. Many prostitutes in Thailand are no more than slaves and have no means of escape. And foreign tourists encouraging the sex trade are only making worse this horrendous trade in women in Thailand.

Here's some fun random facts:

  • 3% of women in Thailand are engaged in prostitution
  • The illegal status of prostitutes makes them particularly vulnerable
  • 20% of thai prostitutes are HIV positive
  • 2% per cent of the Thai adult population are living with HIV/AIDS ? one of the highest rates outside sub-Saharan Africa.
dhlosthisvirginitytoaprostitut · 20/01/2005 20:22

I love him but don't approve

sobernow · 20/01/2005 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Heathcliffscathy · 20/01/2005 20:23

oh ffs! do any of you condemning male use of prostitution wear GAP clothes? if so, you are wearing the fruits of the total exploitation and commodification of human beings on the other side of the world! and trust me they earn a lot less then their peers that choose to prostitute themselves!

I wear gap sometimes by the way to my shame (only thing that seems to fit) but equally don't run around condemning men that sleep with prostitutes!

weightwatchingwaterwitch · 20/01/2005 20:25

sophable, nope, I don't wear Gap and am as concerned about the power of multinationals/global corporations as I am about prostitution.

Original poster
cringe · 20/01/2005 20:25

Nope i wouldn't tell and i also know he wasn't alone in all of this and some of the men have not told their wives. I wouldn't tell people in rl who would be morally outraged, what is the point in being looked down upon. I am very pleased i know all about him, also because the first thing i did was drag the silly idiots sorry ass to the std clinic.

OP posts:
open · 20/01/2005 20:26

The past is the past. If you're happy with his attitude towards you, I wouldn't let his past bother you now.

No doubt everyone condemning cringe's partner has led a perfectly blameless life.

Heathcliffscathy · 20/01/2005 20:28

WWW: you're a better woman than I [saint halo icon]

Original poster
cringe · 20/01/2005 20:28

I trust him completely, know i dont think he will do it again, thats not my issue.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 20/01/2005 20:29

Sophable: sweatshop labour is abhorrent but I don't think its comparable to being forced at a young age into having sex with men and risking deadly diseased like AIDS for yourself, your babies, children and family. Time and freedoms are traded as a commodity in most of our lives - sex isn't.

sobernow · 20/01/2005 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
cringe · 20/01/2005 20:29

no i don't i mean, im blowing my cover and may stop soon though, thankyou all, i feel better

OP posts:
zubb · 20/01/2005 20:30

I agree with open and sobernow - the important thing is how he is with you. You can't change his past, and most of us will have something in our pasts that we're not proud of. He has been tested for everything - presumably he agreed as he saw how much that would mean to you, so if this is the only thing that you are not sure about I would really try to see past it. Easier said than done I know, but if he's worth it then you have to find a way.

happymerryberries · 20/01/2005 20:31

No, I'm not blameless. But I think that you should speak out when people are being abused, be that by GAP or someone's partner.

And to say the same thing again most of these women will have had no choice.

And I don't wear GAP.....much to fat.

Caligula · 20/01/2005 20:31

No, don't wear Gap unless it's from a charity shop, and I don't claim to have led a blameless life, but what's wrong is wrong, and just because I do wrong things too, that doesn't mean anyone else's wrongdoing is OK.

Cringe asked us how we'd feel. We just said honestly how we would.

happymerryberries · 20/01/2005 20:32

Morningpaper. Agree 100%, and you put it far better than I could

Ellaroo · 20/01/2005 20:34

Cringe, hadn't meant it to sound like that - dh is ethically and morally opposed to it, that's just his viewpoint - however, 3 out of the 4 serious partners I'd had before dh had all been to prostitutes. Rightly or wrongly, this knowledge didn't put me off them. My personal view is that it is wrong, but in all of these cases I chose to accept what they'd told me and try not to think anymore about it - tbh from these confessions I came to think that most men had visited one at some point and it was just something that women would never be able to fully understand.