Prostitutes and the past

[cringe]

Did any of your husbands/partners/ sleep with a prostitute before they met you? How do you feel about it? Does it put you off them? Or is it rare? Its making me wonder if he is a sweaty old desperate pervert. Help.

I wouldn't do it. I worked as a cleaner when I was a student, a more productive job, I think.

I've never known any prostitutes, but I have known class A addicts and serious alcoholics. I can't see inside their minds but I get the impression their addiction is not simply the result of how their parents bought them up.

It might be a factor, probably is, but IMO many other things make them choose to abuse their bodies. For starters, there's the theory that some people are born with addictive personalities.

Of course I would hate it if a grown up child of mine became an addict or a prostitute. I would put some blame on myself, especially if this lifestyle began when they were very young. Difficult to predict how I would feel exactly, but IMO adults make choices that have little connection with their childhood or the way they were parented. I don't think I would feel it was mostly my fault, or that I had failed, if my grown up child became an addict or prostitute.

I don't know about can't get out, I suspect it depends why you're doing it, most pwoplw I knew were doing it with short term goals in mind. Paying off student loans, other debts, or a fantastic holiday with their kids after breaking up with partners.
6 months was the rugalr working cycle that I saw, there were others who worked with me fro 2 years ish, but they were few and far between.
Quite a few of the women went on to work independetly with their own websites and keeping all their cash

Jordylass you say prostitution is a "hugely levelling job" ! (my exclamation mark) because it is "something which you can do whatever your academic level and is relatively well paid and it fits in around children, family etc."

Well I disagree: I think a world where women (especially women with children) have the same economic power as men would be 'hugely levelling.' Having sex with people for money isn't a blow for women's rights and however much anyone on this thread tries to persuade me otherwise I don't think I will ever believe that.

In my early twenties, I considered it. I was trying to get my first job in advertising as a copywriter. I had teamed up with a female art director. It was rare to see a young, female team, and on our work placements at agencies, we got a fair bit of attention - some of it unwanted. Middle aged men lingered in our office flirting with us. Recruitment agency people, trying to place us in a job, told us not just to sell our ideas but also to use our female charms. We were job hunting during a recession and things were not easy. Everyone was telling us to sell ourselves. From there, for me, it was a short mental leap to considering escort work. We needed to keep our daytimes free for interviews at short notice and offers of work placements. Any part time evening work had to be flexible. I saw some ads for nightclub hostess work and dragged my art director along for an interview. We then did a trial evening to see if we liked it. While we were there, the doorman read my palm and told us tomorrow we would be offered a job. And that is exactly what happened. We started work at an agency the following week.

I haven't considered it but my boss at a restaurant where I worked when I was 18 suggested I might think about it 'because a girl like you could make an awful lot of money.' I was a bit disgusted that he thought I would tbh.

I've definitely considered it, but only fleetingly in the same way one considers selling up, buying a camper van and travelling to India.

I do know someone who has done it informally, not as an escort, but by tarting herself up and going to a nightclub, then picking up a bloke and having sex with him. At the time she was on benefits, hopelessly in debt and had bailiffs knocking at her door and the electricity company threatening to cut her off. (She also had three children under ten.)

She went to Stringfellows (among others, and she charged £300. Did it about five or six times and got some of her bills paid.

I don't expect my posts to change anyone's mind, I'm just posting an alternative view.
Tigermoth - thats amazing

why?

Well you were probably working pretty hard to get jobs, but the doorman reading your palm and getting it right. I'm fascinated by that sort of thing.

tigermoth, I did the recruitment agency thing too - was it the early 90s recession for you? And if I hadn't had a steady boyfriend I would have considered doing the nightclub hosting as well.

yes, the doorman thing was pretty amazing.

SW, it was the mid/late 80's. Many advertising agencies at that time were getting rid of staff.

Have to go, kids are hovering nearby! this is one story I'll be telling them only when they are older.....

I worked in a pub full time for almost a year and had a lot of propositions, mainly from the 'my wife doesn't understand me' squad.

One bloke wanted to set me up in a flat. He used to go into raptures over my lips and what they could be best used for...

i'd consider doing chatlines, but would be worried about bursting into laughter at the worst time, ie as a man was about to errrrrrrrrrrrrr

Chatlines - no im sorry I would HAVE to laugh!! "oh yes im wearing a black basque & stockings" whilst wearing a shower cap & face pack Tee hee hee.

On the original discussion if visiting a prostitute were something my hubby did in the past then I dont think it would make a difference if it were under the influence of alcohol & peer pressure. Men do think differently to women they see a big red car & buy it, we see it & think "the insurance will be high & it will guzzle petrol" Their mobile doesnt work they dont call, ours doesnt work we borrow someone elses or find a call box. Crass simile I know but nevertheless true.

If cringe has known this guy as a friend then she must know how he treats women. Has he been a thoughtful, faithful boyfriend in the past or does he "tart" whilst in the relationship. If the former then hes a keeper if the latter they it doesnt matter how much he says "you are different" then id just enjoy him temporarily (as the words leopards & spots spring to mind - for the prime example of this mentality look at Darren Day)!!!!

Would rather not look at Darren Day if that's ok....shudder.

omg she didnt take him back did she?!!

Still think he should be introduced to that Kimberley woman who went to bed with David Blunkett, Simon Hoggart, etc. etc.

He is a loathsome creature, and unfortunately comes from the same estate as me, though luckliy, afaik we never met