Has anyone done a boudoir shoot?

[Ellacharlton]

Hiya
recently divorced 37 year old trying to find confidence in my appearance again. One of my friends suggested doing a boudoir shoot. Has anyone done one and what was the experience like and is there any tips.
I googled a bit and have picked out some lingerie that will help me feel sexy and I'm going to bite the bullet and wax my hooha. (apparently everyone does that, I must have missed the memo). Only 2 people in my adult life have seen me nude so that's a bit daunting but I'm ready to embrace the experience. But any tips or if someone could outline the experience that would be appreciated x

I'm well past my best but if I wasn't, this would put me off. A bloke across the road, retired middle management council person, who's hobby had been photography started specialising in boudoir photography.

I've been in the local newsagents and behind him in the queue at Asda, where he whips out his 'portfolio' to try and get the ladies serving him to have a photo shoot done.

He was beyond creepy.

I have no idea why you assumed any of what you did, honestly. I just said it was a hobby because it is 🤷🏻‍♀️. Actually maybe I do, you assumed all that because you like to think that anyone who would do boudoir, is self-obsessed and has no other life or interests outside of taking pictures of themselves. And yes, I do compare my boudoir shots but because I like to see how my photography skills have developed.

You have a right to your opinion, of course, but your posts come across as though you feel very superior and that's what I have an issue with. So far you've called me self-obsessed, sad and been incredulous that I could have any kind of self-worth. It's just so unnecessarily judgemental. I have no problem with people, who don't want to do boudoir, it's not for everyone and that's completely fine.

I would bloody love one.

I think they're beautiful, and I wouldn't have any qualms in sharing any of the more covered up ones on social media.

But I'm also proud of my body. Is a bit of positive attention nice? Of course it is!

No coz I'm not some cringe lady in the 90s wanting to loll around in silk and hang a soft focus picture in my house pmsl
and really what's the point? it wouldn't give me any confidence coz Id know I only look like that with a lot of work and posing and there is no partner- also if they need a heavily posed pic to fancy you that's not a good thing! as for acting sexy in front of a photographer??? nope 👎🏽

A friend did. Apparently she's "empowered" by it after feeling shitty after her divorce.

Women targeted by these rip off merchants in their vulnerable moments. Photographers (trading under their male name) and claiming to be "all female" pulling women in with promises of makeovers and VIP experiences.

Only to charge a deposit that's non-refundable if you don't attend the "viewing" a week later, where they sell you lots of overpriced shit on top of the "free" image you "won".

The images are also extremely cringeworthy and smack of anything but empowerment.

A sad Facebook photo of her looking sultry in her car after driving an hour to walk through a waiting room full of blokes and "live her best life" while women on minimum wage took risqué photos for their boss (yes, you Andrew) to profit from still remains. Every time I see it I feel sad for her but of course, well meaning friends type "you go girl" and "woohoo, looking 🔥" etc etc.

Her self esteem did not improve.

I als0 find it a bit cringe and tacky I’m afraid. and generally folks look at the airbrushed slimmed down, perfect ones and think they look like that. It’s an odd mentality.

I mean if you think posing in your undies for some stranger will boost your confidence go for it. But honestly don’t post them on social media or frame them and hang them in your house,

personally I’d spend the money on new clothes, a great hair cut, new make up, a holiday, gym membership. Whatever floats your boat there.

"It's about challenging yourself, facing your fears, doing something you wouldn't have been allowed to do before.

Some people want to, some don't. That's absolutely fine.
But please don't put OP down for doing something she feels will empower her, sticking two fingers up to her old life!"

Then get a trusted mate to take the shots. You're not empowered by being conned into a high pressure sales pitch where the product is photos of your body. Which they own the rights to btw.

You do know AI pornography is about to be big business?

Empowered 🫠 my arse.

"I just didn't want to make the photographer uncomfortable with a full bush on display LOL. "

It's natural.

Would you worry that you'd make a gynaecologist "uncomfortable" if you had not shaved? Or the nurse doing your smear? Or a midwife? Or a future partner?

In the 70s, I knew no-one who shaved. I've never shaved. If it made a man or woman "uncomfortable" that would be their problem not mine.

When I went through my divorce I got sucked into taking 'sexy' pictures of myself and sharing with an Ex. They were pictures from my boudoir. At the time I wanted the validation that you seek - that I was an attractive woman and men fancied me.

I really wish I hadn't done it. He was married anyway and I knew I didn't want an affair with him. Just to be told how gorgeous I was.

I wonder what you will do with these pictures? Do you have DC?

A local woman (who ended up having an affair with someone's husband) had some semi naked pictures taken of her and sharing on FB. She was unhappily married. Many liked them (inc my ex husband :) but she lived to regret it as everyone remembers 'that picture'.

You are a sexy attractive woman and I wonder if the attention and validation you seek could come from a new boyfriend? That was what worked for me in the end and it's still wonderful.

Why not just have a professional make-up and photo shoot fully clothed? I don’t really understand how ‘objectifying’ oneself in a series of sexualised poses is helpful for someone getting over an abusive relationship. I understand wanting to push your boundaries etc but surely there are more empowering ways to do it?

Find this response a little odd. Seeing someone’s pubes makes most folks uncomfortable unless it’s in a sexual or with a partner setting

I'd want it to be tasteful, but I can sort of see the appeal. If someone offered me one for free I might consider it?! Haha. Not really, I'm too shy.
But go for it. Do they do your hair and makeup? If not I guess you could get that done, and maybe a spray tan? I wouldn't say waxing down there was essential. Shaving or other hair removal (or not) is fine. I guess I assumed it wouldn't be full frontal nudity?

Yeah a family member got them done and they look nothing like her 😂

@Alfonsoo

I agree. I’d go to the gym instead. Oh my life that’s the best
a) it has a purpose
b) it’s helps you long term
c) it’s not just about marketing yourself to men

Er how is taking photos of yourself for yourself marketing to men?

@Missingpotatocroquettes

You have a right to your opinion, of course, but your posts come across as though you feel very superior and that's what I have an issue with.

I don't think @Towandatowanda comes across as superior. I think they come across repressed and somewhat defensive. There seems more than a little panicked hostility.

It's not quite normal to be so very hostile about what other people enjoy doing.

Not odd, at all.

It's natural not to be shaved. I wasn't suggesting that it is natural to display your pubes to others and expect everyone to be comfortable with this.

My point was, that if the photographer is choosing to offer nude photographs as part of the package, why would the OP worry about the photographer being "uncomfortable" with her not having shaved?

Is there any such thing as male 'boudoir' shots? I just wonder is this something men ever do!

At least it was only his portfolio 🙈

Probably best to keep your pants on.

@Towandatowanda says "Why does your self esteem just revolve around your physical appearance? Surely your self esteem is about who you are as a person. Not about how you look in the nude or minimum clothing in some air brushed manipulated photo. Is that all you are worth? Surely you are worth more than that"?
Have you not noticed that in the real world so much is about presentation and mostly that is visual.
Did the OP really give the impression that her looks are the only point about her that matters? It seems she is a 'work in progress'. Maybe the maths degree will follow as she rebuilds.
@Towandatowanda Reframe your prejudices. Let her enjoy herself.

I'm with you. I could think of nothing worse, divorce or no divorce.

I will not do a boudoir photo session because I don't know where the photos would end up but I do life modelling, the artists draw or paint, no photos, and I find it very good for my overall confidence.

I would have thought that if these are to be used for online dating that they'll attract only dodgy attention.

I agree. I’d go to the gym instead

why are people assuming the Op doesn’t go to the gym or go on nice holidays and wiggle her toes in the sand. She could be doing all of these things, and more, but still be wanting a boudoir shoot.

People are also assuming she’d show the pictures to others when it could actually be that they’d be for her eyes only.

A previous poster said she’d had one done wearing a man’s shirt and lovely jewellery. I think it sounds very nice and it’s what I’d wear if I ever have photographs taken. Not that I can do it before the end of the year though because I’m too busy travelling the world as a solo traveller, then there’s my PT CrossFit sessions 3 times a week, my voluntary work, my disabled son, my 8 grandchildren who I’m very hands on with as well as loads of other things that fill my life.

People need a hobby instead of doing a Boudoir shoot my backside.

"dudeoir" is sort of a thing! And some people do couples shots too.

I shot boudoir for quite a lot of years but never accepted gift bookings, so no coercion, and marketed only by word of mouth. No one allowed to watch the shoot and it was designed very much to celebrate the person so could be anything from full dressed to implied nude.

My clients have always been happy, relaxed, enjoyed the shoot session and loved their resulting photos which is all that really matters to me.

Don't really understand the hostility on here - if you'd enjoy the experience and the photos then book one, and if you'd hate it, don't?! And if you want to put a photo of yourself up in your own house, why the hell not?

I've moved on to different photography genres now, in part because women are often very reluctant to spend money on their own wellbeing and feeling good, but it's never been anything but a positive experience for me and all my boudoir clients.

Though also not a massive fan of the name and called mine something different!

OP as long as you're comfortable with the photographer then absolutely go for it 💙