Has anyone done a boudoir shoot?

[Ellacharlton]

Hiya
recently divorced 37 year old trying to find confidence in my appearance again. One of my friends suggested doing a boudoir shoot. Has anyone done one and what was the experience like and is there any tips.
I googled a bit and have picked out some lingerie that will help me feel sexy and I'm going to bite the bullet and wax my hooha. (apparently everyone does that, I must have missed the memo). Only 2 people in my adult life have seen me nude so that's a bit daunting but I'm ready to embrace the experience. But any tips or if someone could outline the experience that would be appreciated x

An acquaintance on FB did this and posted her pictures shortly after her divorce came through. She also posted that she had bought all the images, had them printed and uploaded originals and pictures in frames hanging around the house. I wish I could've told her not to post any of it. It was a hell of a thing to see. But especially on social media. She got a couple of likes here and there.
However, it does seem the small bit of support satisfied her needs.
It's certainly not my place, nor ever would I impose judgement. I’m glad she's not a close friend that I'd have to intervene with.
I do feel like I hope someone closer to her than me would say something though.

When people post the photos on fb I could die of embarrassment for them

People have been doing boudoir shoots since the 1970s. They have always been very popular. I cant see a problem with it as long as they arentbposted on facebook.

I'm not a man.
I'm hostile to the idea that a woman's worth is equated to her looks. And in the case of Boudoir shots not even her authentic looks.
I think it's very sad that a woman is desperate to see herself just as a sex object.

I'd do it! But don't display in your house where everyone can see it because that's weird (speaking from experience). Definitely do it, if only for yourself

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to feel sexy. I love dressing up and feeling sexy but I also feel good about myself when I'm not dressed up and know I'm sexy then too. It's not one or the other and it's definitely not equating my worth with it.

I'm sorry you've been through a horrible time, but I don't think tacky photos are the way to go about restoring your self confidence.

For a start, who decides this kind of thing/look is sexy? Men. Why do women want to feel like they're sexy and for whom? Men.

😆

Even the name 'boudoir shot' sounds like something that would happen in a brothel or bordello is the wild west.

Are you talking about the fact you enjoy getting dressed up to look sexy in Boudoir shots or the fact that you enjoy getting dressed up to look sexy in real life?

🤣

Both.

Finding these responses so weird! My now DH took pictures of me in a teeny, tiny bikini about 15 years ago. They were quite risque, I then made him a calendar of them. I'm so glad I have those pictures, I will never look like that again.

😂

This "feeling good about yourself" seems all about external validation. Personally I think it's a bandaid on a gushing wound. It's does very little for your overall self-esteem and might even be harmful, because you link self-esteem to your looks alone.

And exactly how does this hold up in the long run? The focus is still only on beauty which is linked to youth and you're only getting older. Are these shots just to remind you of what you once looked liked so you can be all nostalgic about that while you feel worse every year as you age?

What is wrong with using your body for doing things you enjoy rather than for other people to look at and judge? Isnt's that much better for your self-esteem?

Well you obviously have no problems with confidence about either yourself or your appearance. You apparently feel sexy all the time.
OP is talking about using Boudoir shots to regain confidence in her appearance and to make her feel sexy. She is wanting to take her clothes off and allow herself to be posed by other people and have photos taken which will be air brushed and manipulated to make her look sexy in a sylised way. How does that really change your inner self? How does that make you confident in your self worth?
To my mind it makes you an object that can be manipulated to look a certain way with the right expertise and equipment.

Of course I don't feel sexy all the time. Where did I say that? I do think my worth is the same whether I'm making an effort to be sexy or not.

And my photographs (which I take myself as a hobby) are not airbrushed or photoshopped in anyway. They are just pictures of me feeling good and confident in my body.

I know quite a few other photographers, who do boudoir shots professionally, and they do not Photoshop or manipulate their clients either. The editing they do is around the background and using different lighting effects etc.

I would put the money into a personal trainer and take up weight lifting, rather than having some pictures done of you semi naked.

I agree. I’d go to the gym instead. Oh my life that’s the best
a) it has a purpose
b) it’s helps you long term
c) it’s not just about marketing yourself to men

I'm sorry I give up.
I just cannot comprehend a life that revolves around constantly taking photos of yourself. If that isn't total obsession with your looks I don't know what is.

My life doesn't revolve around taking pictures of myself 😂 my hobby is one small part of my life and my hobby is photography in general so boudoir makes up an even smaller part of my life. I do it like once a year.

Does "giving up" mean that you're accepting other people have different opinions to you?

I’ve done a couple, before airbrushing was even a thing. I still love the photos. Have a look for photo ideas before you go, and don’t be afraid to look at photos as they are taken as you may need to adjust positions to get the effect you want. Also remember the golden rule is ‘never take a photo you wouldn’t show your gran’. I didn’t take underwear- a man’s shirt and some jewellery were my go to accessories.

Hope you have fun.

Oh the irony of your comment! 😳

Well your other post made it sound as though your hobby was exclusively taking Boudoir photos of yourself. And I assumed a hobby would mean it was a very regular activity. You certainly did not say photography in general was your hobby. To say now you only do your Boudoir shots once a year is definitely back tracking on the implication of your previous post. Although once a year sounds excessive to me. Do you put your annual Boudoir shots side by side and examine how you have changed in the intervening months?

Of course people have different opinions, as witnessed by a number of pp on this thread who actually think it's a good idea for OP to go ahead with her Boudoir shoot. I'm expressing a different opinion to them and to you as is my right to do so.

When I said " I give up" it was a response of incredulity elicited by your previous post which implied you were taking Boudoir shots of yourself as a hobby on a very regular basis - I assumed weekly or similar.. Because that level of self obsession would be actually very very sad.

I find it quite cringey and it reminds me of the awful bit at the end of gok wan’s show where women paraded in their underwear.

But each to their own