Has anyone done a boudoir shoot?

[Ellacharlton]

Hiya
recently divorced 37 year old trying to find confidence in my appearance again. One of my friends suggested doing a boudoir shoot. Has anyone done one and what was the experience like and is there any tips.
I googled a bit and have picked out some lingerie that will help me feel sexy and I'm going to bite the bullet and wax my hooha. (apparently everyone does that, I must have missed the memo). Only 2 people in my adult life have seen me nude so that's a bit daunting but I'm ready to embrace the experience. But any tips or if someone could outline the experience that would be appreciated x

Also bloody hell why does everyone assume the photos will "end up" somewhere dodgy? If you have a professional photographer you should have a contract and good photographers - amateur, professional and anyone in between - should understand the very private nature of these photos and not share them without your explicit consent.

I'm agreeing with @Towandatowanda to be honest.
You never see men getting their kit off to be a strong and independent even when divorce has broken them. This is such a cliché

If it’s going to make you feel confident, go for it and who cares what anyone thinks!
It's not adreasing the issue though. It's just a temporary solution.
If you need confidence that bad maybe the money might be better spent on therapy
But please don't put OP down for doing something she feels will empower her, sticking two fingers up to her old life!
It's not about putting her down.I'd never want to do that. I want the op to have more confidence and self belief on herself and there's other ways yo do it than faux images of herself being done. The ones I've seen looked nothing like my friend in real life. Unless the op spent her life looking out inthe mid distance heavily filtered, what's the point.

If my friend wa asking me, I would say that as the divorce is recent, leave it for now, save your money, take your time rebuilding your life and revisit this sometime in the future when you are confident and happy rather than have a knee jerk reaction and rush out to have it done.
I bet divorced women of a certain age are the boudoir photographers bread and butter.

Also, what if the photos turn out to be less attractive than you expect? Wouldn't that be more damaging to your self esteem?

Remember the WI story and Calendar Girls.
The Pictures of the actual women in the first set were brilliant.
That is what good photographers do.

I think it’s the sexy posing

After years of being treated badly (and we don't know how badly) the OP seems not to know how she is. A photographer will show a subject how others see them. That can be part of rebuilding the esteem.
I would suggest not only lingerie but some sophisticated shots with hair dressed ready for a formal occasion. Borrow a dress if necessary

A photographer will show a subject how others see them. That can be part of rebuilding the esteem.
What, through a filter, lolloping about in fancy lingerie?
A boudoir photographer is not going to show her how people see her at all.
In fact unless it's an everyday snap, you would put your best side forward dress up a bit and do your best to look good gor day photographer so that's not showing how people see you any way.

There is a really nasty undercurrent to this thread. I had my photoshoots when I was married, and another shortly after becoming a mum. I did t do them for empowerment or to fix poor self esteem. I did them to capture a moment in time when I was younger, more beutiful and sexy as hell! The photos were neither filtered, soft focus or tacky. Decades later I still love the photos from both shoots. My life may have moved on, but they still give me a smile when I see them.

Heaven forbid women should want to feel beautiful or sexy in a way they you don’t agree with.

I might do one again for my 60th, 70th and 80th birthdays.

I had one. The photographer made me feel incredible - I remained in lingerie (several sets) the whole time. Nudity was never suggested.

I keep them in a box. I intend to use them to remember my youth in old age 😂

my jaw dropped when I saw them and I’m so grateful I did it.

@Worldgonecrazy There is a really nasty undercurrent to this thread. I had my photoshoots when I was married, and another shortly after becoming a mum. I did t do them for empowerment or to fix poor self esteem

But that's the difference , you say you didn't do it fix poor self esteem or empowerment. This is what the OP wants. These things don't come from a boudoir photo. That is why I suggested leaving it a while and let the divorce settle rather than rush in.

"I did t do them for empowerment or to fix poor self esteem. I did them to capture a moment in time when I was younger, more beutiful and sexy as hell! The photos were neither filtered, soft focus or tacky."

That's nice. And completely irrelevant then

@Alfonsoo

I think it’s the sexy posing
But if the woman is doing it for herself and not showing the pictures to men then how is it marketing to men or anyone for that matter?

My wife has done them (always waxed, but that's her preferred state). Some albums ended up more risqué than planned. It depends on the her level of comfort with the photographer/studio. She also did some nude maternity ones which were amazing.

Because men dictate what 'sexy' is. Women learn what 'sexy' is through media - and who has controlled that? This is still 'sexy' through the male lens.

Posing in sexy lingerie for whatever purpose - no thanks.

Each to their own

It doesn't have to be in sexy lingerie, my first boudoir shoot was in roller skates 😂 because it was for me, not a bloke!

dunno, I’m not really aware of people who have done this because it’s terribly naff and I’m very cool , but presumably you show it to people

Ewwww

If I were to pose in my lingerie it would result in some very baggy grey pants and a comfy sports bra!

You do you OP but please don’t post them on Facebook. That IS tacky.

I keep reading this as batman.

This. ^

@EnergeticTigerDad · Today 06:04

My wife has done them (always waxed, but that's her preferred state). Some albums ended up more risqué than planned. It depends on the her level of comfort with the photographer/studio. She also did some nude maternity ones which were amazing.

Your wife did nude and 'very risqué' shots when she was pregnant? Really?! That's actually quite grim.

Concurred 🤮

I hate everything about these stupid things, especially the name. Who the hell says boudoir?

This. ^ Sounds a bit like 1980s soft porn doesn't it? 😬

Very naïve post.