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Original poster

Would this be a stupid thing to do ????

193 replies

nutcracker · 19/10/2004 21:51

O.k i am thinking of getting a penpal or rather an email pal i guess. Was thinking of perhaps someone in the armed forces or something along those lines.

So is it a bad idea ??

OP posts:
tiredemma · 20/10/2004 12:38

i wouldnt worry about the blokes in my office nutty, they are either gay or dogs!! or just downright strange- one is obsessed with elvis and dresses as him.

Original poster
nutcracker · 20/10/2004 12:39

TBH i think the prob has been waiting to happen since i left school. Not meaning to sound like a big head, but I was popular ish at school and didn't have a prob with the lads and so felt quite good about myself.
When i left school i really missed all that and so latched on the the first person to show me any attention (dp).

Just feel like i could dissapear of the face of the earth and noone would notice.
I registered with FR ages ago and not one person has contacted me. I have contacted a couple and they haven't replied.
I think along with the fact that i made a very big mistake about someone when i was at school it just all adds up to make me feel crap.

Sorry if i'm waffling, but i't helps.

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Original poster
nutcracker · 20/10/2004 12:39

PMSL Emma, well i don't want the job then, was only looking for a new bolke

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Original poster
nutcracker · 20/10/2004 12:40

Bloke even

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tiredemma · 20/10/2004 12:48

is it really that bad nutty? cant think of anything to suggest to make things better, im sure you have thought of everything- did you go back to the doctor?
im back at college on the 2nd and have a 1hr and 45 min lunch break due to a balls up on the timetable, fancy a coffee and a "scone" in sutton?

no body contacted me from FR either, are you not in contact with any of your closest friends from school?

Original poster
nutcracker · 20/10/2004 12:51

Nope not in contact with anyone from school, must have been pretty forgettable i guess.

Coffee would be great

I'm a right maoning old cow today aren't I, will try and cheer up.

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codswallop · 20/10/2004 12:52

nutty woudl you really want them too?
( old friends) there must be a reason why you havent seent ehm for 10 years! bet your enttry is really down on yourself too - cut and paste it here.
andyway you haev foudn me!!

tiredemma · 20/10/2004 12:54

im off to work now (2-10) ill be back tomorrow if my brats allow me 5 mins peace.

arrange somewhere then to meet, ill leave the finer points up to you- bring harry along.
we can on the spy for teenage boys on skateboards around the town centre! eek!

take care mate- give that number a call and lock dp in a cupboard.

Original poster
nutcracker · 20/10/2004 12:54

PMSL I can always rely on you to make me laugh Coddy.

Think it says something like i have 3 kids and am at college (need to change that again), and that i'd like to hear from anyone.

Really wanted to name someone in particular but thought i would have looked a bit nutty then.

OP posts:
codswallop · 20/10/2004 12:55

no you wouldnt
I think you needt o say I have three fab kids who love playong thunderbirds ( or whatver) an i am a world expert in knex

Original poster
nutcracker · 20/10/2004 12:56

Cheers emma , have a good day

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Original poster
nutcracker · 20/10/2004 12:57

LOL, coddy, no honestly if i had named the person everyone who knew me would have thought 'god is she still on his case'

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codswallop · 20/10/2004 13:01

Poor old mr burrows then

carla · 20/10/2004 13:01

Not sure working in a call centre wouldn't exacerbate your boredom though, nutty. You need something where you're meeting new faces every day. A shop job? You'd have to choose your shop carefully though. Where would an interesting cross section of society shop, hmmmm?

Original poster
nutcracker · 20/10/2004 13:05

Ewwwww no coddy, please don't put that image in my head

Carla - That job though has suitable hours for me, shop work wouldn't work iykwim.

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aloha · 20/10/2004 13:31

Yes, I think it is a bad idea.

aloha · 20/10/2004 13:34

Unless you are looking for a way to end your marriage! I think there are easier/better ways of doing that though.

Original poster
nutcracker · 20/10/2004 13:39

I know feeling pretty stupid and selfish right now.

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MarmaladeSun · 20/10/2004 13:50

Nutcracker, you're not stupid or selfish at all. It's one of the worst feelings in the world feeling unnoticed and ignored. Any effort you make is wasted and you feel like doing something drastic just to validate yourself. I know exactly where you're coming from, more than you know. As I said, I married my e mail pal and know from experience how intense a relationship like this can be. You talk a lot more (as that's all you have) so you open up to each other. I was in the middle of a divorce when I 'met' DH, so there was no infidelity on either part; we were both free to pursue it IYSWIM but to be honest, had I still been with my first husband then I still think that we would have met up as it got very deep very quickly. It spirals out of control. Not sure if I've helped, but wanted to let you know that I know what you're going through. HTH

spacemonkey · 20/10/2004 13:53

Yes, ime when you are communicating only by email/chat/letters it is actually easier to develop an intense relationship surprisingly quickly because the barriers that would be there in a face to face relationship are down. Potentially v dangerous!

Original poster
nutcracker · 20/10/2004 13:56

Oh don't really know what to say, just feel crap, and the idea of an intense email relationship sounds so great to me right now, but i can see why it wouldn't be too.

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spacemonkey · 20/10/2004 13:57

can you talk to your dp about how you feel invisible to him?

turquoise · 20/10/2004 14:00

Nutty I don't think anyone thinks badly of you and you're not stupid or selfish. Unfortunately I think many of us have been in a similar position and therefore know that what you're considering will only make matters worse.
This sort of false excitement will only serve to make you more discontented with your real life, and avoid dealing with the real issues.

Original poster
nutcracker · 20/10/2004 14:00

I have SM until i'm blue in the face. He doesn't think it is a prob, thinks i'm the one with the prob.
The fact that he doesn't know the dif between affection and sex is a big prob as he makes me feel so used.

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spacemonkey · 20/10/2004 14:01

oh dear he really needs to understand that if you're not happy then it is a valid problem for you both, not just you!