mums should all be sahm's, they should all bf and dummies are not needed

[jumpingmum]

i just dont get why some have a baby and then go to work whilst the child is being brought up by someone other than the mother.

every mum should breast feed unless for medical reasons, why any mother would want to give their baby anything other than the best is terrible.

and dummies are just a convenience for the parents. babies and toddlers do not need them, they are disgusting things.

I remember the first time I popped a dummy into DD1's mouth.

Bliss!

She was so sucky.

I think an apostrophe can be used for acronyms kamikayzed, but doesn't need to be and I do think it looks wrong

however, there is never any justification for using 'u' and '1' and other textspeak abbreviations

I don't think you can use apostrophe for abbreviations either. For example MPs are never MP's.

Maybe what you need to do is put the acronym in capitals and then use a small s to differentiate it.
viz: SAHMs
Love bumperlicious' joke. Am practising my delivery now so I can tell it effectively.

I don't need to know where apostrophes go because I don't have a job. Obviously my husband handles all the paperwork while I scrub the kitchen floor and milk the goat. My dd is old enough to help with the chores now while my ds does his lessons with his father.

Hmm well what can I say... I did indeed bf for ages and avoid dummies and I don't go out to work - but then I am also a dole scrounging single mum. If you need (or even WANT - not everyone is enthralled by milk and biccies and cbeebies et al) to go to work then damn right you should.
Anyways...
Have you all heard the one about the magic tractor?

It drove down the road and turned into a field!!!!!

This thread has gone very quiet because everyone is off servicing their dp.

jumpingmum should be proud.

Noooo! Apostrophes only ever denote a missing letter or are possessive. They have no place in acronyms.

So we have the dog's bollocks, or, possibly, the dogs' bollocks (when we are talking about two or more dogs).

Or, don't do that. The apostrophe stands in for the missing o in do not do that.

Sahm = singular. Sahms = plural. No apostrophe.

Here endeth the lesson.

Oh no, servicing is done on Friday nights. DH put it down in my diary for me so I had to oblige.

Tonight, I've been off turning the bed down for DH, putting toothpaste on his brush and then lovingly laying out all of the breakfast things for his ease tomorrow morning.....

I hope you made your own jam and marmalade in a big copper pan with fruit from your garden. Or maybe you have honey from your own bees.

ooooo alucard - my mum used to make homemade jams and chutneys - used to have cupboards full of it - and the smell was divine (and it was great fun going out picking brambles (blackberries to you southerners ) for the bramble and apple jam...........brings back lovely memories

My mam breatfed me for 15 months but will she lend me her jam pan? Will she hell!

my mum can't make her jams and stuff anymore (parkinsons disease) - so when they moved house a few years back she offered me her Jam Pan.....I said "no thanks" (not really my 'scene').so she gave it to my brother and I now REALLY regret it.....it wasn't copper - but it was HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE and now I do want to make jam

Quite shocked by some of your comments jumpingmum - they're very narrow minded.

My ds had a dummy, I didnt breastfeed past 6 weeks and I work part time partly cause we need the money but partly cause I want to and do you know what? I couldn't give a flying large one on all 3 counts. Fact is, by being a human being in a free, democratic, civilised, and evolved society, I have the right to do what I want and bring my children up in whichever way I want and I will not be guilt tripped into conforming to anything other than what I feel is best for my family!!!

Btw - jokes on here are superb!!!!

What do you call the woman who threw all her bills on the fire ? Bernadette ! boom boom .

I was a sahm for 3 yrs and bf but im a sinner i gave in2 dummies, my desire to retain my nipples as they were already hanging half off due to babys constant need to suckle was too great. I sinned thinking that my nipples needed at least 2 hrs away from pain and bleeding. Please forgive me.

jumpingmum surely u realise that every baby is different every mum is different and every bloody situation is different, so just because u managed to do things a certain it doesnt mean everyboby else can. Dont b so narrowminded.

Btw this thread is brill not laughed so much in a long time. Im rubbish at jokes so I will have to remember some of these.

Yeah - you're right OP.

All black people should be rounded up and shot and all gay people should be castrated.

I take it that your post was a joke then?

Cos it couldn't be anything else could it?

Has Jumpingmum returned yet?

What are you doing posting anyway?

You should be waiting at home for your man to come home and shout at you......

To an extent I agree, that Mothers should be at home fostering their love on their children.

I can't, so shoot me. I feel so fucking bad about this already..............

Three men die and meet St Peter at the pearly gates on Christmas eve.

"In honour of this holy season," St Peter said, "you must show me something that symbolises Christmas to get into heaven".

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.
"It represents a candle", he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates", St Peter said.

The second man produced a set of keys, shook them up and down and said; "They are bells".
St Peter said; "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man was still searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's knickers.
St Peter raised his eyebrows and asked; "And just what do those symbolise?"
The man replied; "They are Carol's".

fantastic