mums should all be sahm's, they should all bf and dummies are not needed

[jumpingmum]

i just dont get why some have a baby and then go to work whilst the child is being brought up by someone other than the mother.

every mum should breast feed unless for medical reasons, why any mother would want to give their baby anything other than the best is terrible.

and dummies are just a convenience for the parents. babies and toddlers do not need them, they are disgusting things.

Do you know what wife stands for?

Wash
Iron
Feed
Entertain

A duck walks into a bar and says to the barman "got any bread?", barman says "no this is a bar we don't sell bread", duck goes "got any bread?", barman says "no I just told you we don't sell bread". The duck goes "got any bread?", barman say "no, I've told you before I haven't got any bread, and if you ask me one more time I'm going to nail your f*ing bill to the bar!"

The duck says "got any nails?", the barman says "no". Duck says "got any bread?"

You know, reading it it doesn't seem that funny but I PMSL when my dour boss used to tell it in a monotonenous voice!

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken
Surprise".

The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the
wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she
briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back
down. "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.

He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again
the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams
down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and
demands an explanation.

"What did you order?" asks says the waiter.

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

Wait for it ....................

"Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck!"

" the housework etc comes 2nd if you have to settle or sooth a baby"

ermm - but if you have another child - then they still need feeding - you (and your DH) need feeding too.......if your baby won't settle - even in a sling then you're kind of b*ggered really aren't you...........

oooops - perhaps she really does get b*ggered

you go swinging??

how very liberated you are

phwoarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[don't normally like him but that is a good pic

So schooling, Jumpingmum - which schools have you in mind as being the "best"? And what about other experiences?

mrs cellophane even mr fm was phsl

for LL

here

lol lapin

what a load of shittola this thread is
v lame

Seriously TMMJ? I thought I was the only person in the world who found that funny!

Why do brides wear white?

All the kitchen appliances come in white.

B-beautiful

I-intelligent

T-Talented

C-cunning

H-horny

Oh no bumperlicious. I even read it out to dh and we both laughed .

Thankyou Active Convos. I would not have realised this thread existed otherwise and am now cheered up!

Sorry, I think I've posted this before, but I love it (you may not):

why did the baker have smelly hands?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Freudian slips.
They remind me of the joke about the man who told his analyst, "Last night I made a terrible Freudian slip.
We were having dinner with my mother-in-law. I turned to her and I meant to say, "Would you please pass the butter, Mother?"
But what came out was, "You stupid
cow! You've ruined my whole life!"

(A joke. If not obvious)