Not suicidal, just really depressed

[Lonelymum]

Does anyone else feel this way today? Is there anywhere on the internet I could go to for help?

yes it has crossed my mind although I saw something negative about it in the paper yesterday - can have bad side effects or something. I really want to solve my problems first. I think if I did that, I wouldn't be depressed anymore.

Hi, Solving the problems first seems a good idea if it is as easy as that. Sometimes that's the hardest thing to do because you just don't know how to start solving them. Obviously I hope that you already know how to tackle it and if I can help in any way I hope you would let me know. BTW I am going to move soon as well. It's going to be either Devon, Gloucestershire, North Wales or Scotland. What a choice!!! Will let you know what the outcome is. And yes, you are right. There can be some side effects with SJW, however, they go as soon as you stop taking it and then there is always the chance that you might not suffer from them. All I can say is that I am grateful that stuff is around. Next week we'll be going to an NLP Specialist to get his depression treated. Hope it works. Will keep you posted. How are you feeling today? No more tears I hope?

No I am reasonably upbeat today. Dh scared the life out of me by arriving home at 5:15 yesterday (wasn't expecting him until 7 at the earliest) just as I was doing dinner for the children so we were able to sit down and eat together and actually had a laugh with the children. It is the little things like that that make the whole difference to me.
I recognise your situation with 4 potential places to move to. A few weeks ago, we had the choice of staying put, Wales, Gloucestershire or Cambridge (places where dh went for interviews). It is wierd living with that uncertainty. Wales became Bristol/ South Gloucestershire BTW as we didn't want to live in Wales (no offence Wales). The move is still not certain though. I shouldn't pin my hopes on it yet. Do tell me if you end up in Gloucestershire! (and we do too). It would be a great way to meet up.

Hi lonelymum, Awful weather today. Hope it didn't get you down. Can you believe it, there is now another option: staying put. Can't decide if I like that idea, I am kind of ready to move on again. Have been staying now at the same place for 7 years, which is a record for me. Any idea yet what's happening with you? Where are you anyway? Anywhere close to Hampshire or further North? In my job I am travelling a lot (which I love, gets me out of the house) and I am up in Yorkshire and Northumberland very often. At the end of the month I am close to Birmingham... Husband is feeling a little bit better these days, but we will still go to the NLP woman next week. Really need him to get over this depression thing. So how about you? Is there anybody close to you who you go to sometimes?

Hi Bine, it was nice to see you had replied. We are in West Sussex at the moment. No news on our potential move. It is beginning to look less likely but I am not giving up hope yet.
No I don't really have any close friends that I visit these days. We have moved so often and I haven't worked for 8 years so I don't get out as much as I should or keep regular contact with people. I was at a kids party yesterday talking to a dad I know and he asked how the social life was and later when was the last time I had held a dinner party. I was so embarrassed because I knew the answers would sound terrible: social life is non existent and my last dinner party (if you can call it that) was 10 and a half years ago when dh and I became engaged. How sad is that?
You are lucky to be working and getting away from the domestic scene sometimes. How is your dh? From what you say, it sounds as though he doesn't work or is part-time? What does NLP stand for?

Hello lonelymum, We are not far apart, West Sussex is a neighbour county of Hampshire, which is where I live. DH is running his own business. Unfortunately not very successful because of the depression. It gets him so down sometimes and then he can't go out or pick up a phone. Not good for any business. I have only just recently started working again in a networking company, selling educational books, games and toys for children. I am loving it. It gets me out again, after having been locked in (that's how it felt)for the past few years. See, dh and I decided to work together in a company a few years ago, which was a terrible mistake. The company and the working together bit. As much as I like him around me, I really can't be around anybody 24 hours a day, but I didn't know that then and neither did he. Again, because of his depression most of the time I had to deal with everything myself, which was very difficult. Anyway, the company is up for sale and we are now both doing something different, although he does help me with my new venture whenever he feels like it. It's much better this way. However, we really need to get rid of this depression thing. It's killing our relationship, that's why we are going to see this woman who offers NLP - Neuro Linguistic Programming. I think it works with Hynotherapie. Dh is really into all this, but I don't know very much about it at all, which is one of the reasons why I am going with him on Wednesday. Only for the first time though, just want to make sure that she understands how urgently something has to be done and I want to be sure that I feel comfortable with her and the methods. Dh is so desperate at the moment, he'll do just about anything to get help with the depression.
Your non-existing social life freightens me. You really need somebody who drags you out and gets you back into life. It's such a shame that you haven't got anybody around you. Where does your family live? Mine lives in a different country, so I am pretty much on my own as well. Maybe we should meet up one day? As you know I am travelling a fair bit, so I will let you know when I am going down to West Sussex next. And obviously, if you don't want to meet up it's not a problem. I know from dh that he sometimes just can't face anybody, so I won't be offended :-)

That's kind of you. Actually my parents live in Hampshire and I was brought up there! I long to go home again which is really pathetic as I am nearly 40 but I have always been a home girl. Yes my situation is really dire. Unfortunately, it has been a long time in the making - probably goes back 20+ years so it is difficult to see it suddenly changing. However, I read some people's post on Mumsnet and I can hardly imagine how they can bear to live their lives, so there is either a lot of unhappy people around or my life isn't really so sad. I am lucky to have my dh and my children, and my family is loving in its way....
I hope everything goes well for your dh on Wednesday. Perhaps you could write and tell me how it goes for him later?

i was thinking of you today, lonelymum. i haven't contributed to oyur thread but have been following it. as you say there are some threads about at the moment where MNs are in neeed of help and support. if these threads make you feel 'better' IYKWIM then good but please don't let these threads make you feel that you don't want to post about your own situation and needs. there are enough of us here to support all those who need it for, whatever reason. we are all individuals who raect differently to different sitautions.
please continue to post to help you through your lonliness.
thinking of you
AQ

Thanks. TBH I have just received a bit of bad news that has knocked me down. Dh's prospective job - the one that would mean we could move and allow me to start again - is beginning to look more and more unlikely. He is waiting for a written offer having had a verbal one, but the person who should sign the offer - one of the bosses in America - is now saying he won't be doing it for now. Not sure why. Dh said something about it coming up to the end of the business year in the US (end of Sept. apparently) and he might just be waiting until Oct. but we have seen so many job offers go this way before that we are not optimistic about this one. I really could do without this stress right now.

Hi Lonelymum, I have to tell you about the NLP session we went to yesterday. It was really amazing. When we went in dh was so down and depressed. He had been crying for days for no reason, just because he felt so worthless. The teacher went through some NLP techniques with him, all based on visualization. so it doesn't hurt or anything, you just sit in a chair, relax and let your thoughts go while she guides you through some scenes. It was a bit strange for me listening at first, but all worth it when dh was a completely new person after the session. This morning he has woken up for the first time in weeks not feeling down, but reasonably happy. He'll have to go there again in about 10 days time so I will keep you posted. God, how I hope that this is going to help him dealing with the depression. Hope this helps you as well. How are you feeling these days? I am off to the Southampton Boat Show soon...

I'm glad the session was beneficial for your dh, Bine, though it sounds a bit wierd to me! Does he have any idea why it helped him? Maybe, it helped him channel his thoughts away from his usual concerns?
I am as much stressed as depressed right now. My dh had an operation on his nose on Thursday and, although he is home again now, he is much more ill than I expected and rather down himself. Suddenly I am mothering five people instead of four. The strain of four was making me crack anyway, so I don't know how much longer I can cope with five. I hope this doesn't make me sound unsympathetic. I realise dh is feeling bad and needs my support, but I don't feel I have the energy for it at the moment.

Lonelymum - just read this and what you said has struck a cord in me as well. I am a SAHM and find it lonely. Would you like an e-mail buddy?! Let me know if you do and I will contact you through CAT. Hope you are feeling ok and that you dh is ok. x

lonelymum and joanneg - funny that when you embark on motherhood, no one tells you how lonely it can be. going from full time work where you are surrounded by people to being a SAHM where sometimes days goes past and you have not had a proper/meaningful adult conversation. I enjoy being a mum and work hard to find activities and see friends etc but there are still plenty of times when you feel very isolated and down. I have to say that discovering mumsnet has helped, it is nice to know that there is a network where you can ask for advice and chat etc. Just knowing there are others who know how you feel makes being up at night doing cc (like me at the mo) less awful!

Take care all

Joanneg - I am always up for more contact with like minded people. Having admitted to being lonely, I would be daft to turn down the offer! So, if you are still keen, feel free to CAT me.

Yingers - you put it so well!

Lonely mum - I will write you a message on CAT later. speak to you soon x

Joanneg - received your email but can't reply because I don't think I have your correct address. Every message just comes back to me. Tried to CAT you but Mumsnet say you do not wish to be contacted. They say you can change that on your member profile if you want to. I'm going to create a thread with this message on and I hope you see it sometime and get in contact again.
Lonelymum

Hi Lonelymum ,

I was doing a search in Yahoo and i saw your message so i checked out the site . I thought ditto how you feel so much i joined the forum . I'm in West Sussex too and know how you feel .

Chin up
Pete

p.s. Happy Easter

Blimey :p

I just noticed you posted that 5 years ago .

I expect ur feeling a lot better now

Pete

This thread is 4 1/2 years old.