Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Is there a website where you can get advice on parenting?

177 replies

disillusioned · 04/03/2007 18:06

I know, I probably sound sarcastic. It just all seems so different these days. Unless you are a well known prolific poster or you are posting about something really unusual or outrageous, people just aren't interested.

You only need to look at some of the topics and you can see that posters who have concerns about their kids, parenting etc only get a few replies. Yet ask about sex toys, what's for dinner and baby names and you're inundated with replies.

When I joined MN I was amazed at the replies you would get when you started a thread, it seemed that people were genuinely interested. Nowadays, there are umpteen unanswered threads and it all seems more superficial.

I know there are times when everyone comes together eg the christmas pressie thing, but on a day to day basis no one really cares anymore.

Btw, I've just changed my name as I've just noticed a thread when someone was moaning about my name being similar to theirs. Will be sticking with this from now on.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 04/03/2007 18:10

I still post advice, if I think I know anything about it.

Best to slag people off though, you're right, will get a much better response.

colditz · 04/03/2007 18:11

Ok, it's because, I think, that everyone has an opinion on sex toys, dinner, and baby names.

Ditto the other popular topics (breast/bottlefeeding - we all did one or the other, supermarket spaces - most of us use them, etc etc)

but when it comes to things like eg "My baby has a large brown growth on the back of his leg, does anyone know what it is?"

Well, most people won't have experienced this, so won't reply.

imo.

BizzyDint · 04/03/2007 18:13

i think it's just that when you've been on a long time you see the same questions over and over so tend not to be interested. also, if your child isn't at that particular stage of life then you might not have an opinion or an interest in a topic.

dd's 9 months, i'm enjoying weaning at the moment so i post a lot about that. she isn't doing green poos or refusing to poo in a potty, so i don't post about those. also, there are topics that i have previously posted on that i wouldn't post on again because i feel like i'm all talked out on the matter.

SoupDragon · 04/03/2007 18:14

I believe a parenting expert has a site you can join for a fee.

I answer if I have something useful to add to a thread, any thread. Sometimes I answer if I have chuff all useful to say too.

MrsSpoon · 04/03/2007 18:16

I think there are a lot of us older MNetters about who have been through many (although not all) of the parenting things and have moved onto more of the idle chit-chat (afraid I am guilty of this) as we still love and want to use MN, but I can see the problem. I do still sometimes post parenting advice but mostly my memory has either gone blank about certain things or I have blabbed on the talk boards about my experiences that much that I can't bear to put anyone through having to read it again.

Original poster
disillusioned · 04/03/2007 18:16

I don't think I slagged anyone off Hunker. I just said that people seem to be more interested in the trivial stuff. I also hate the way that new posters and non malicious name changers are treated with suspicion and ridiculed, it seems you have to pass some sort of MN initiation these days.

OP posts:
Dior · 04/03/2007 18:18

Message withdrawn

lockets · 04/03/2007 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Dior · 04/03/2007 18:19

Message withdrawn

BandofMothers · 04/03/2007 18:22

I am fairly new too. About a month now. Had a run in with Cod on my first couple days but She responded to a q I asked today.
If you post more people start to recognise your name more etc. People are always there if you have a real emergency. Don 't give up, there is still some good advice to be had.
I think some like the chit chat cos they've gotten to know others so well, but they set up their own area for it. I quite often frequent the tea shop.
It has to be fun too.. . . . .

DimpledThighs · 04/03/2007 18:23

erm - well if I see a post that I have experience of I post out of alturisim - e.g. how long did colic last with yours, where to go when wet in London - I se it as part of the bargain and then I can ask how many chapters are in goblet of fire or where to camp in Dorset.

I do not post if I have no experience or if there are more than 25 replies - but otherwise I will. I am still quite new to mumsnet and have not noticed the problems you mention - infact ds asked me something today and I didn't know and he said "can you ask them on mumsnet".

Was sorry to read about your experience. I hope things pick up soon.

I love the idle chit chat because it gets me through the day.

zippitippitoes · 04/03/2007 18:24

why do people post on mn

all sorts of reasons

parents do lots of things beside being parents

amongst which is entertainment

it is not true by the way that people who have been around longer get threads answered..it is pretty much an even playing field in that regard

however someone who has been psoting and posts if you like another episode in their life may get responses because people do respond to the soap opera aspect of mn

grizzling and name changing to do so doesn't make you particularly endearing imo

Carmenere · 04/03/2007 18:27

Just have a look on active convos now? 70 percent are threads asking for all different kinds of advice. Most with answers. I don't get your point.

Original poster
disillusioned · 04/03/2007 18:27

I'm not about to start listing all of my problems and the lack of response I've had to lots of them, we'd be here all day.

It's not just me though surely, I see countless threads about thread killers and I'm sure I saw one that QE started a few weeks ago, that she felt let down.

Maybe that's the problem, when you've been here a while, you think you'll get the help you need, when it doesn't come it can be disheartening. Mumsnet has been a massive support for me and I'm very grateful for that. It's just that as time has gone on, I still need support and it's not there anymore. Maybe I've outstayed my welcome.

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 04/03/2007 18:29

who were you before?

zippitippitoes · 04/03/2007 18:29

tbh there is a limit to how much dishing of advice you can do

imagine what it would be like if I answered your threads every time

Jimjams2 · 04/03/2007 18:30

I think things drop out of active convos too quickly. The ones that stay in are controversial or lend themselves to one liners. Just bump!

WideWebWitch · 04/03/2007 18:31

I kwym zippi. I reply if I can help and/or be bothered. Sometimes I've got 2 hours to spend here, sometimes 10 minutes. I think there's plenty of parenting advice given here but it's very big these days so not everyone will get as many answers as they'd like

Dior · 04/03/2007 18:31

Message withdrawn

Original poster
disillusioned · 04/03/2007 18:33

I'm not a newbie at all. I've been here for 4 years. I didn't say it was about the length of time you've been here either, I said it was how prolific you were.

Carmenere, look at behaviour and development for example, most of the threads have very few posts, if you compare that with chat, it is very different.

Zippi - wasn't aware I was grizzling and I explained why I had changed my name.

OP posts:
Original poster
disillusioned · 04/03/2007 18:35

I think you are right about things dropping out of active convo's JJ. There are only so many times you can bump though, before you get a complex.

OP posts:
MeMyselfI · 04/03/2007 18:35

Just a thought but maybe you could do something productive and go and answer some of those unanswered threads rather than starting threads to complain.

Or maybe you haven't got the experience to help, which is the reason there are fewer answers to specific questions than to chat threads.

I wasn't aware that the only things parents ought to discuss were parenting issues - how boring.

FrannyandZooey · 04/03/2007 18:36

We are all here for different reasons and some people are just here for a laugh. Nobody is obliged to answer anyone else's posts or give up their time to give advice.

Personally I am grateful when someone does, rather than expecting it as a right.

Your OP does sound chippy and, as you say, sarcastic.

hunkermunker · 04/03/2007 18:36

You're having a go though, similar to slagging off.

What did you hope to achieve by starting this thread?

I DO post where I can help.

I also post where I don't think I'm going to do much good sometimes.

And other times I just fancy a laugh.

Same as 90% of other MNers, I think.

I hadn't seen QE's thread (active convos moving fast, plus I don't have a potty-training child so I didn't think I could help), but I did post on it when I saw how upset she was.

Dior · 04/03/2007 18:37

Message withdrawn