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Original poster

Is there a website where you can get advice on parenting?

177 replies

disillusioned · 04/03/2007 18:06

I know, I probably sound sarcastic. It just all seems so different these days. Unless you are a well known prolific poster or you are posting about something really unusual or outrageous, people just aren't interested.

You only need to look at some of the topics and you can see that posters who have concerns about their kids, parenting etc only get a few replies. Yet ask about sex toys, what's for dinner and baby names and you're inundated with replies.

When I joined MN I was amazed at the replies you would get when you started a thread, it seemed that people were genuinely interested. Nowadays, there are umpteen unanswered threads and it all seems more superficial.

I know there are times when everyone comes together eg the christmas pressie thing, but on a day to day basis no one really cares anymore.

Btw, I've just changed my name as I've just noticed a thread when someone was moaning about my name being similar to theirs. Will be sticking with this from now on.

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 04/03/2007 18:38

your thread title sounded pretty embittered to me aka grizzling

and the poster name disillusioned is pretty sorrowful

behaviour and development are going to be specific threadfs so unless you have the knowledge then you may well feel it's best to leave it to others

also you can't always get involved with the support that someone might like because it is draining sometimes it's easier not to step in at all

chat threads are a bit different they are very often not chat either

maybe if you responded to the thread saying somehting about your name then it would be light hearted

Blandmum · 04/03/2007 18:38

I post answers if I know anything. I also pwill do google searches to try and help people out. many, many poster will do the same. I take little notice of whether someon e is a new or old poster

MN is bigger, stuff gets lost in the sheer numbers of posts.

Soemtimes the silly stuff has been a lifesaver for me in my darker moments

southeastastra · 04/03/2007 18:39

yesterday my ds(13) found a lump near his nipple. he has been really worried about it (as we have) i've just been looking in the archives and found a really helpful thread from 2004 and feel much more calm now. the information is there

Original poster
disillusioned · 04/03/2007 18:40

I'm sorry if you think I'm picking a fight, I'm really not. I don't think I'm being agressive or nasty, although some of you seem to be getting irritated with me.

I'm sorry I mentioned it now.

OP posts:
Carmenere · 04/03/2007 18:40

I just haven't any personal experience with what you are talking about disillusioned, when ever I need mn there is usually someone with an answer or some support which is often all that is needed.
But also there are times that I just lose paitence with posters(usually in relationships tbh) who post the same problem repeatedly and don't take advice.

motherinferior · 04/03/2007 18:40

I just did a quick run-through on active convos: about seven, I think, were directly parenting. I'd posted on one. I think that's pretty par for the course, actually.

swifterella · 04/03/2007 18:42

oh i do know what u mean,i posted last night about how down i felt and how ill my DS is and had 2 responses. Now if i had been chtting about whether i'd shaved my fanjo or not i would have got loads i'm sure. Saying that i have had loads of advice and picked up so many good tips etc since joining.

BandofMothers · 04/03/2007 18:43

Martianbishop answered my thread earlier with names of mners who would know what i was asking about. VVV helpful.

FrannyandZooey · 04/03/2007 18:43

I think it reads like a personal criticism of all the other posters on the site, that's why you're getting arsey responses, dis.

You are saying we are all too obsessed with trivial issues and too uncaring to answer your threads. This is a bit of a kick in the teeth when most of us DO spend time answering the threads of people we feel we might be able to help. I we deserve to have a laugh on here as well.

hunkermunker · 04/03/2007 18:44

Yes, what Franny said.

Blandmum · 04/03/2007 18:44

and I haven't read your name before!

Good name BTW!

FrannyandZooey · 04/03/2007 18:45

"Yes, what Franny said."

But without the typo, I expect

Marina · 04/03/2007 18:46

I am sorry you feel this way and really sorry that maybe you didn't start this thread before you felt you had to change your name.
Mn is a whole lot bigger now I agree (have been here since 2001) and yes there is a lot of chat and social threads, but there are lots of Mners who offer wise, sensible, experience-based tips and solutions day in, day out. It is just not true that no-one cares on here.
Recently I've noticed people being barked at online for daring to offer advice where it is not what the OP wanted to hear - and I've had quite a bit of experience lately of taking time to post something I thought would be useful, only to be completely ignored by the OP.
That sort of experience could put one off bothering next time, tbh.
So it can cut both ways - some feel hacked off because no-one is giving advice when they need it - others because people don't so much as say thanks when it's given.

DimpledThighs · 04/03/2007 18:46

what hunker said

Original poster
disillusioned · 04/03/2007 18:46

I was just using parenting as an example, I'm sure there are other examples out there.

Sorry you don't like the name Zippi, it seems all my names annoy someone.

Dior, we have spoken quite a bit in the past.

It's so weird though, I was having some counselling recently and when it came to an end, she said to me, oh I think you will be fine, it is so great that you belong to this online community. Little did I know that the support was about to dry up. Nevermind.

OP posts:
fryalot · 04/03/2007 18:47

what marina said

zippitippitoes · 04/03/2007 18:47

I have answered threads in the feeling depressed topic almost always to unknown people probably..I don't know because i don't particualry look or keep a record

but i don't do it that often because it would be awful to be expected to answer, it is hard work sometimes and maybe my advice isn't that good..so it is totally arbitrary..I've also had my fingers burnt and been told off so i am a bit circumspect now where i post

northerner · 04/03/2007 18:48

Grow thicker skin please.

BandofMothers · 04/03/2007 18:48

Martian, was the last to me???
I often go to unanswered treads simply cos they've not been answered. Getting help and (trying) to help others is one of the reasons i love mn.

colditz · 04/03/2007 18:49

BOM you ok?

Carmenere · 04/03/2007 18:50

Yes nevermind

Original poster
disillusioned · 04/03/2007 18:50

I didn't mean to criticise anyone, certainly not personally. Actually, I don't think it matters what I say.

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 04/03/2007 18:50

yes colditz, not been on for 2 days. WITHDRAWAL (sp?)

tigermoth · 04/03/2007 18:51

Jimjams you are spot on IMO to say "I think things drop out of active convos too quickly. The ones that stay in are controversial or lend themselves to one liners. Just bump!

Totally agree - I've started threads because I wanted advice then waited in vain for replies. A bump or two later, however, and people start posting. It's just luck sometimes. But I do think this is happening more as mumsnet gets bigger. It's nothing personal. I feel much more anonymous now than I used to 5 years ago. I used to feel a lot of regulars 'knew' me a bit, so it was easier for people to be a bit more involved in my problems, I suppose. Now the proportion of people who 'know' me is much less - I post less too as I can't log on at work. And people have far more threads to choose from when they post.

I find putting specific info in the thread title is a good idea - ie I wouldn't call a thread 'a bit worried about my son' if the issue was 'my son is spending all his lunch money on horrible baseball hats'

I must admit when I am reading through active convos, I am often drawn to skim threads with lots of posts on them, just to see what all the fuss is about. So I don't have time for new threads if I have to rush off.

I am really sorry you feel so alienated from stuff here. I think it happens from time to time - I felt a bit like that recently.

Blandmum · 04/03/2007 18:51

yes BOM, I love the name! Very witty! I've never had a funny or witty name on mn. ver

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