Is there a website where you can get advice on parenting?

[disillusioned]

I know, I probably sound sarcastic. It just all seems so different these days. Unless you are a well known prolific poster or you are posting about something really unusual or outrageous, people just aren't interested.

You only need to look at some of the topics and you can see that posters who have concerns about their kids, parenting etc only get a few replies. Yet ask about sex toys, what's for dinner and baby names and you're inundated with replies.

When I joined MN I was amazed at the replies you would get when you started a thread, it seemed that people were genuinely interested. Nowadays, there are umpteen unanswered threads and it all seems more superficial.

I know there are times when everyone comes together eg the christmas pressie thing, but on a day to day basis no one really cares anymore.

Btw, I've just changed my name as I've just noticed a thread when someone was moaning about my name being similar to theirs. Will be sticking with this from now on.

I've looked at a lot of threads where people have posted that they have no experience, and can't help in any way, but wanted to give hugs, or just let the op know that someone was listening.

I am sure that I have also missed hundreds of threads - it is just not possible to look at every one.

There are so many, and sometimes active convos goes so fast that you just can't keep up. At busy times, I struggle to keep up with one or two threads that I'm on, never mind looking at others!

So sorry that you're feeling disillusioned, and I hope that the number of responses you've got to this thread is encouraging.

well i hope you get the support you need..it seems that now you've vented a bit some kind words should be with you shortly

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My kids are 10 and 6, so theoretically I should know all about weaning, potty training, developmental markers, starting nursery/school, starting to ralk. walk /read whatever. I'm theoretically go to the teenage bit, which I haven't done as a mum but I teach about 100 of the little beggers.

Trouble is I'm so farking old, I can't remember half the stuff any more!

I must have suppressed it.

I post a bit in health and education because I have worked/work in the fields. I post about contraception because I used to work in the field. I also post on ADs because I know a fair bit about how they work.

But baby led weening, not my thing gov, I'm too old and out of the loop

I think what also happens is that I skim down active conversations adn might see a thread called "Inflamed willy in 3yo, what could it be?" and think 'balanitis' but if I open it and 10 other people have posted I'm not going to add to it, no point and I won't waste my time so I'll move on. And people use mn in different ways so some might go down the topic list or just 'threads I'm on' (I do this if I haven't got much time) or just active conversations. I don't think it's personal most of the time. Also there's such a breadth of stuff here and I tend to look at the stuff that interests me so would rarely open a thread abut babies and feeding for example because I'm past that and it doesn't interest me. Whereas I might well open an employment issues one because I might have some recent experience to contribute.
I don't care who is doing the asking, I answer if I can/feel like it/have time. I don't remember most of the people I've disagreed with either.

If your point is 'mumsnet has dumbed down' then I'd agree with you, I've started threads saying so in the past and had about 50/50 agree/disagree.

No idea who you are btw.

I do much the same as you do WWW. I also tend to click on Education to see if I have missed anything that I can usefully contribute to. But MN is now so big you can't do that with everything. I never look at buying and selling

have only read half this thread, but just want to say i think mn is fab! was talking to a friend today as we were both saying how helpful people are here...

as dh is away, being by myself with a 15wk old can get tiring and lonely...mn passes the time nicely...have posted questions from flying with ds, to playing i spy for hours last night

it's serious when you want it to be, and light hearted fun when you need it

I change the way I use Mnet- active convos and SN at the moment - that's about it. I used to look in health but ended up in too many fights so would tend to avoid that now.

Don't cry disillusioned. I've occasionally (ahem ) been known to moan about the way mnet has changed, and it has changed, I think I ended up posting quite aggressively for a while because of the changes, now I'm much better at re-reading a reply and deleting.

I've bumped shamelessly a few times when I've really wanted help and found that sometimes the thread will kind of eventually kick start. I have no idea who you are, but don't cry!

sorry your upset

oh dear

It is hard - I never used to use mumsnet to chat at all, only really nipped in and out of Health/Allergy threads and a few others (I knew having a variety of health problems with both children would come in handy one day ) but times have changed and there are days when I really feel like having a laugh (or even need to have a laugh) and don't want to post on more serious threads. I may see them and think that I'll come back and post on them another time.

FWIW, I think everyone can feel ignored on here sometimes. Active convos does move quickly and just because your thread doesn't garner a massive response, it doesn't mean you aren't 'cared for'.

I think that as people are here for a "long time" then they move towards the chatting threads, because they tend to look stuff up in the archives, and also probably NEED advice less.

I also think that long-timers AVOID depression topics because there have been several incidents over the years where posting advice there has ended up in tears / people have been taken advantage of.

I VERY RARELY go near depression type threads - I'm sure they have a place but for long-term support then you really shouldn't rely on online forums IMO, it is too casual and the advice you get may not always be very constructive. If you are feeling down then I would really recommend continuing to see a counsellor and get help that way. xx

I still don't know who you are so if me psoting about my posting or not on the depression board is in the right area then that is fortuitous or probably the opposite of fortuitous whatever that is

i think you have to be pretty thickskinned (as you do in any intimate group that gets much much bigger).

i bump and bump and bump and if i don't get what i need i start another thread and bump some more until i do.

some days I am happy to give the same opinion / advice / thoughts I have given umpteen times before

some days I think oh god not again

some threads I think I can add to and some I just ignore becuase they're not relevant

some of the things that felt important when I was the mother of my first child I have realised are flash in the pans and I have to be in the right mood to respond otherwise I'll risk saying something that might sound sarcastic

threads don't stay in active conversations long

I like talking to people who's sense of humour I get rather than pussy-footing round new people trying to judge their level of sarcasm and intelligence which doesn't mean I won't respond to namechangers / newbies but only if the thread catches my attention .. I will however go on a thread where I recognise a name just to see what they're chatting about

there's too many farking name-changes on here .. it pisses me off (not directed to OP just in general_

dISillusioned, my advice is always crap, but you are more than welcome to CAT me to if you like (my references are 2 primary school aged boys one with dyslexia, both bloody awkward to feed, and one who is alittle 'sensitive')

Somtimes I think it even depends on what time of day you post as to whether you get a decent response or not. And sometimes, if your request is quite specific (ie not in chat) , you might have to wait a day or two before people see it.)

sorry you're feeling disillusioned - maybe some of these replies will make you feel a little better.

Twiglett, some newbies may also have a great sense of humour, who you'd get along with really well.

I think disillusioned posted feeling sad and in need of support/reassurance but didn't want to upset or offend all the people she knows on here. It's a pity her OP was a bit misunderstood (it was a bit narky, but not sarcastic IMO), but there is LOTS of kindness and caring on the thread for her too. I wish I knew who she was too, but she's not going to say so that's that

I feel like starting this sort of thread sometimes. I nearly did so yesterday. I have felt really bullied on MN (recently in fact, it's not a secret) and have been (perhaps justifiably ) called a bully as well. MN is not Babyworld, that's for sure. It can be savage. I stay though because it's worth it and I love some of the people here and it keeps me sane and it makes me laugh. I think I try to help where I can, I certainly feel that I give of myself quite a bit, but I like donkeying around on the sillier threads too. It hadn't occurred to me that people would be seeing those threads and thinking how heartless and trivial, you should be using this time to help others". I'll have to think about that.

actually I recognise your name BandofMothers which means your posts (sense of humour / intelligence / whatever) must have cut through .. cos most of the time I have no idea who I'm talking to

I don't think you're a bully snotsleeves .. who said you were a bully?

baby tv has a really nice website, not for parenting, but with really cute games and activities to do with your little ones babytvchannel.com

You see Greeny I can respond to what you have written because I know you fairly well and I know what you are like

Dis made it very hard for us to respond sensitively to her because she has changed her name so we have lost all the nuances of how she posts or any insight into her situation

I don't think it is fair to say we are not so supportive to newbies as to old timers because we are cliquey or have favourites - it is because we are ABLE to help someone we know so much more easily whereas with someone new it is rather stilted and you have to start from scratch.

I am sorry you have been feeling down and unloved Greeny and I am sorry I was shirty with Dis as well. But you see Dis, when you change your name I don't know you, I have no shared history with you; I am not reacting harshly to you because you are new or "not my mate", but because the ONLY thing I know about you is this rather critical OP. I hope you can see from here that many people care about you, even if they don't know who you are. I think if you are feeling isolated a name change is a mistake. You obviously have made connections with many people on this thread - why throw that away?

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