Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Is there a website where you can get advice on parenting?

177 replies

disillusioned · 04/03/2007 18:06

I know, I probably sound sarcastic. It just all seems so different these days. Unless you are a well known prolific poster or you are posting about something really unusual or outrageous, people just aren't interested.

You only need to look at some of the topics and you can see that posters who have concerns about their kids, parenting etc only get a few replies. Yet ask about sex toys, what's for dinner and baby names and you're inundated with replies.

When I joined MN I was amazed at the replies you would get when you started a thread, it seemed that people were genuinely interested. Nowadays, there are umpteen unanswered threads and it all seems more superficial.

I know there are times when everyone comes together eg the christmas pressie thing, but on a day to day basis no one really cares anymore.

Btw, I've just changed my name as I've just noticed a thread when someone was moaning about my name being similar to theirs. Will be sticking with this from now on.

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley · 04/03/2007 18:51

I think new posters etc getting ridiculed is a bit of a myth - where it does happen it's as much the poster misjudging the tone of the site as the oldies misinterpreting the OP's motives.

Given the 'kicking-off' factor, I think many posters steer clear of some topics.

As BandOfMothers points out, a clash on one thread isn't necessarily carried to another. Many a perceived antagonism may be entirely down to misreading, misinterpretation and, naming no names, mstpying.

We've all murdered threads and been ignored. It's down to the time of day you post, who happens to be online at the time and whether there's a full moon.

Maybe you're just having a bad month on mn?

hunkermunker · 04/03/2007 18:53

Disillusioned, I'm worrying about you now.

What do you mean your support's dried up?

Have you been ignored when you've asked for help? Is there anything I can do?

(And yes, Franny, without the typo )

Blandmum · 04/03/2007 18:54

and also being a 'big name' poster doesn't guarentee that your post will be answered. Out of interet I just checked unaswered threads and found one from cod!

Ticklemonster · 04/03/2007 18:54

What annoys me more, is when you give advice or look for a product etc for someone and then they either ignore you or don't bother coming back to the thread. A quick thanks is all it takes.

Original poster
disillusioned · 04/03/2007 18:56

I don't think it is a myth about new posters actually. Starting this thread under a new name has been very enlightening, some of you who have known (of) me for years are being quite hostile, I'm sure the response would have been slightly different under my old name.

Thanks Tigermoth, I'm glad someone can see where I'm coming from.

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 04/03/2007 18:56

Thanks, MB. Am quite proud of it.
Disillusioned, you have our attention now.
Anything in partic you want advice about??
We're all willing to help if we can!!

swifterella · 04/03/2007 18:57

go on who are you????

Original poster
disillusioned · 04/03/2007 18:59

I always say thank you to anyone who responds to me.

Perhaps I should just throw some controversial comment into my threads, this one has had plenty of responses.

I think starting this thread was a mistake actually. I'm going to have to answer the door to xp, looking like a wreck. I will pretend I'm ill I think.

OP posts:
tigermoth · 04/03/2007 19:00

Also, just as Marina says,in recent months quite a few OPs seeking advice have then ignored me when I have posted advice. I suspect this has always happended since day one of mumsnet. I don't expect an acknowledgement every single time, otherwise I would have flounced years ago! But the average number of times I have been ignored has increased a little bit. I think. If everyone offering comments and advice is ignored that's another thing altogether. But I have been on threads where the OP seeking advice seems to be acknowledging some posts and people on the thread far, far more than others.

mellowma · 04/03/2007 19:00

Message withdrawn

Marina · 04/03/2007 19:02

Well, I should apologise really for sounding so cross earlier , even though I've not a clue who you are disillusioned. I do think Mn has changed a lot lately, and I think your post struck home more than I care to admit. It is upsetting when threads or posts that really matter to you get buried and it does happen a lot. Truth is, it does happen to advice givers as well as people needing support, and it does hurt, albeit in a different way perhaps.
I am sorry you are feeling so rough, and still sorry you felt unable to post about it under your normal chat name for you, not for any other reason!

Original poster
disillusioned · 04/03/2007 19:03

I'm not going to say who I am. It's bad enough that I was ignored, now I'm a whinging, grizzling, chippy name changer as well.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 04/03/2007 19:04

That's fair enough - no need to say who you are.

My offer stands though - if there's any support I can offer, I am happy to - I don't like to think of you upset this evening.

Feel free to email me hunkermunker at gmail dot com if you want a chat. I promise I won't blow your cover x x x

fortyplus · 04/03/2007 19:05

Some subjects just get too heated: if you give advice that the NCT brigade disagree with the flak starts flying.

So I don't bother any more.

Shame really, because all the new mums will end up thinking they're child abusers if they stop bf before two years old or leave a baby to cry for a minute and a half.

You just watch this space...

fortyplus · 04/03/2007 19:06

hunkermunker - that's very kind of you to be supportive to her

tigermoth · 04/03/2007 19:07

I can't think who you are, disillusioned. I think it was a good idea to start this thread, though.

BandofMothers · 04/03/2007 19:08

I just offered help and you ignored me, We're all guilty of it sometimes.
Perhaps you should try some of the chit chat threads and chill out a bit.
Meant nicely, not nastily.

BandofMothers · 04/03/2007 19:09

40+ what's the NTC brigade??

BandofMothers · 04/03/2007 19:10

oops mean nct

Original poster
disillusioned · 04/03/2007 19:12

Thanks everyone. I feel a prat now and my kids have just come home to me crying.

Thank you hunker, you are on my msn actually. Thank you as well Marina, we have emailed in the past as well.

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 04/03/2007 19:13

"The NCT brigade"
"on a day to day basis no one really cares anymore"
glory be, what is this? Sweeping Statement Day?
National Irrational Prejudice and Offensive Generalisation Week?

yes, you're right of course
no-one on mumsnet cares any more
not one of us
the evidence is overwhelming

Original poster
disillusioned · 04/03/2007 19:13

Sorry BoM, my kids have just got home, I'm crying and trying to keep up with the thread. Thanks for the offer. Have got to go and sort them out now, will be back later.

OP posts:
Marina · 04/03/2007 19:14

Oh, disillusioned I feel a prize heel now.
Here's another offer for help by e-mail to add to your list, if you want XXX

Original poster
disillusioned · 04/03/2007 19:16

Go right ahead HC, please point out all my mistakes. I already said this was a mistake, I've apologised to everyone I could possibly have offended. I'm away upstairs now.

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 04/03/2007 19:17

Don't cry.
Hope the dc's are ok.
Just got dd1 in bed dd2 will be following shortly and then comes that lovely quiet time of day when I get me time!!!
Mellowma. Glad to see you're still here. Did dh get over his shock of MN crash????