Oooh can we have a thread about things you said and thought about your Precious First Born which make you blush looking back on it

[Anchovy]

Following on from the other thread which was veering that way.

My mum said she had seen a baby on the telly who was the same age as DS (three months) who seemed more alert than DS. I cried into a muslin.

Just about everything I said/did with DS1 makes me blush.

I was Anally Retentive in the extreme

Gazing into my newborn baby's eyes
"I'm never going to get cross or impatient with you!"
I also love the threads on here where people rant on about appropriate behaviour in children, and how their precious darlings would never step out of line / say something cheeky / be overly silly etc - and then you realise that their eldest child is less than a year old!

I did that stupid thing of not allowing ANYONE to make a noise when my first was sleeping (in my defence, she had reflux so I was SO relieved when she finally dropped off).

On hearing the postman's footsteps, I remember running to the front door like a woman possessed and yanking it open and virtually pulling the postman's hand off in the letter box so that he didn't slam the letters through noisily and wake her up. Wtf??!!

Now, next door has parties till 3am and I don't give a monkeys because they sleep through everything .

Oh yes, I felt Major Shame that DD1 wasn't sleeping as much as other people's babies apparently were.

Everything had to be brand new and clothes white (mind you that was my mum really who has a thing about babies wearing white.)

I had to have a Sangenic nappy wrapper.

I remember needing to go to the doctor with her and running horribly late because 'I have so much to sort out' and ringing the suregery and indignantly pointing all this out.

Ironing those little postage stamp sized vests. Well ironing everything really, even bibs.

I thought no-one else would ever love my dd1 as much as I did, including her father

I believed this with a passion until I watched him cradle her with such gentleness it made me cry.

I seriously suggested to dp that I was thinking of seeing less of other mums when ds1 was about six weeks old as 'It must be really difficult for them to see him and not feel awful about how much better than their babies he is'!!!

He very kindly, and with a straight face, reassured me that maybe they might feel the same way...

Hilarious to look back at ds1's photos at that age, as he was the lumpiest, spottiest thing you've ever seen (gorgeous now, of course..)

Saintmaybe - tee hee, I did exactly the same. One of my mates had a baby very slightly older than DS and I said to DH that I was a bit embarassed and it felt a little bit, well, unfair, that DS was so much more lovely that her baby.

Looking back at the pictures of DS he looked like nothing quite so much as a large potato!

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I thought you immediately had to join every baby thing that was on in the area. Nearly killed myself trying to keep up with that little notion. She slept though most of them anyway.

Also stood for ages outside Paultons Park with dh wondering if we should pay for us all to go in because 'dd would enjoy it'. She was about six months old!

This is funny! When in hospital with ds, in a fit of post-partum delirium, I seriously worried about how I was going to cope with the attentions of desperate model baby scouts, all wanting him and refusing to take no for an answer! I also thought he had some kind of healing powers and I would be doing sick people a favour by encouraging them to see him
And yes, I did all that, 'well, technically he's only three months, but I'll buy the six month babygro because he's so big for his age'. Cringe.

I can't remember the specifics, but I remember being really uptight about something really minor in my parent's garden when DS1 was about 5 days old.

I cringe at the memory.

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a slight aside

i have a friend who is constantly making me feel like paranoid first tiem mum ("did you really take him to the doctors? i only take my boys to the docs if their arms are hanging off" - that kind of thing)

i like to remind myself that she's the only mum that asked all visitors to wash hands in antibacterial handwash before touching her firstborn

Was boasting about my ds being on the 75th percentile when a friend gently said, "ds1 was big too, I'm so glad ds2 is normal" Put me straight in my place

ooh that reminds me of something another friend said about her ds

she actually emailed our local nct grou asking for advice on how to occupy her "exceptionally active" 9mo

was tempted to reply and mention my "exceptionally inactive" ds

I recall being panic-stricken when we took ds1 home from hospital because it was raining a little and he got a few drops on his face. Dh was so mean because he refused to call the doctor.

The best one I've ever heard is from a friend with five children. She said that after her first she realised it actually wasn't necessary to spend hours pureeing banana through a tea strainer.

I slept the wrong way up in our bed one night so my head was closer to his cot because I was CONVINCED he would stop breathing and I woulnd't know. And I was FURIOUS with dh for not doing the same thing - seem to remember berating him for his absolute lack of care, interest and concern in ds's welfare.

I now NEVER wake up when ds does - dh always gets up to him [shame]

It's odd, I don't remember doing anything particularly nutty about DD1 in the early post-adoption days (DD1 was 4 months when we got her). Of course we thought she was a particularly beautiful and clever baby, but nothing truly whacky. This supports my theory that any sane person would swiftly despatch a baby with a meat cleaver round about week 6 and that this rational impulse is constrained by a release of some mysterious birth hormone that renders mothers insensible to the incredible mediocrity of their own child, thus preserving the child until s/he becomes marginally bearable at about 4-6 months and the mother's sanity is restored. It's all about survival of the species.

I remeber DS1 in hospital having to be wheeled through the maternity ward to go down to special care for medication, and feeling very sorry for all those others mothers looking at him in his transparent cot, wishing their babies were as beautiful.

Isn't it strange?? I can so clearly remmber this thought which seemed entirely rational to me.

In reality Ds was a scrawny poorly thing, but I thought everyone was so jealous!!! Even crossed my mind their insane jealousy may cause them to try and switch babies...so guarded him very carefully

We came back from travelling Europe to have DS1, and announced to the world that our DS will fit into our lives, and we will continue to do as we have been doing..6 yrs later, I've nearly forgotten that woman, and NOTHING of my BC life exists!(except DP)

Of course I thought he was the most gorgeous baby in the world. But more embarrassingly I was irrationally obsessed with hygiene and sterilisation, and when toys were dropped on the floor I used to put them into quarantine for a day or so before letting him near them again .

We had ONE small stair in our hallway
and a stairgate on it

"I like to remind myself that she's the only mum that asked all visitors to wash hands in antibacterial handwash before touching her firstborn"

Well, Tutter, not the only mum...