Oooh can we have a thread about things you said and thought about your Precious First Born which make you blush looking back on it

[Anchovy]

Following on from the other thread which was veering that way.

My mum said she had seen a baby on the telly who was the same age as DS (three months) who seemed more alert than DS. I cried into a muslin.

Oh god, I've just blocked the whole thing out.

Pontificating on parenthood to people with many children, many older children, and to my own parents. Instructing experienced parents how to hold his head juuuuuuuust right. Oh god I feel my sphincter clenching as I type

My child will never .... was a particular favourite.

And the changing of clothes, every dribble - new outfit. Every nappy change - clean clothes. Health visitors every week to be weighed and measured...

When ds2 was born he got clean clothes when his were so crusty you could no longer bend him, and the health visitor saw him about 3 times in 5 years!

I'm still doing it now, with my second born! I shouted for dp to come quickly today as i was sure she must be a genious. She was in the bath picking a scab on her knee and she said very clearly (she's not yet 3) 'i will exacerbate it'

I asked her to say it again and she said 'ex-acer-bate'. and i said 'OMG, DP, COME QUICK, DD2 IS A FRICKING GENIOUS!'

and dp came in looking bored and slightly cross as he was busy looking at something, and said 'what?' and i said 'dd, say it again!' and she looked blank. And i repeated it and said 'dd, what does 'exacerbate' mean?' and she said, 'well, i think it is a flavour of boy'.

And dp wandered off again and dd won't repeat the word. She said it though, she did!.

Got so obsessed that the bedroom should be completely dark that we had black out curtains, plus a black sheet and a purple throw hanging from the window. The room was so unbearably dark it was like living in a cave!

Ah, but my 3 1/2 week old PFB DD actually IS the most beautiful baby in the world

I remember thinking DD was a genius before she went to school. Then when she got to school she was one of the bright kids, reinforcing my delusion. Then she got to Y3 and it all evened out. She got some great scores on the SATs, some perfectly average ones.

She's a good kid, bright as a button, but genius? Gifted? Talented? Er, no.

In my defence she memorised books with lots of pages and words at the age of 3. Could look like she was reading them, but was just being a shakey-fakey.

She's still my PFB (OB - Only Born) though, so I'm still neurotic, obsessed and delusional about her

I rang NHS direct as DD's poo was a bit Green

Am was very proud of apgar scores.. 10,10 and 10 and 9,9 and 10

not bad considering my 2 were very premature.

yeah !! [big head]

Dp's dad came to visit me every morning AS SOON as the ward opened so I could go to the loo and have a shower.
In our defence Baby Alex, was kidnapped from her maternity ward a few weeks before.

Eek - this certainly is a blast from the past. I was telling my friend about what a LUNATIC I was with my PFB.

i have a photo in one of the zillion albus labelled "her first plaster"

i lost count of the number of times i threw off the duvet in the middle of the night, snapped the light on and woke dh telling him i'd lost her in the bed to which he invariably replied "she's in her cot , you daft bat!"

Im wondering if any of the ladies that were currently pregnant and were worried they too would have PFB behaviour actually did? Im betting they had the most beautiful babies on the maternity ward and they were obviously very advanced! This is a great thread!

When we came home with our PFB, he slept in our bedroom, and we spent THREE whole days in this room, without leaving AT ALL. I remember sitting on the edge of the bed with DH, dinner on our laps...

We took turns watching telly in the living room in the evening.

My mum came to rescue us after 4 days .

We then spent a YEAR saying: "Can you keep an eye on him while I go to the loo!", and "Keep an eye on him while I put the kettle on" (even though with loo door open you can see the whole (obviously baby-proved) living room...

Also, My DSs are most beautiful, still now!

madness

My PFB is only 7 weeks old, so not able to laugh at myself yet (she's so advanced she'd probably sit up in her pram and ask me what's so funny). She is also PFGrandchild and PFniece though and I can laugh at my sister. She was chatting up some guy in a club who was telling her how clever his niece was, Sis insisted her niece was cleverer eventually slammed the drink he's bought her on the counter and stormed off, fumimg at his lack of understanding. I was only 7 months pg at the time.