Oooh can we have a thread about things you said and thought about your Precious First Born which make you blush looking back on it

[Anchovy]

Following on from the other thread which was veering that way.

My mum said she had seen a baby on the telly who was the same age as DS (three months) who seemed more alert than DS. I cried into a muslin.

after hearing another's DS say "tractor" we spent a whole afternoon reading the same picture book, trying to get her to say SOMETHING!

pmsl housemum at the thud yell bugger I forgot I left her sitting up! sounds familiar.

I remember when DD was born my friends said it was important to get them into a routine. For some reason we thought we should note down her routine at 3 days old by watching her. We wrote it down one night on a piece of paper which we kept. it went something like this:-

9pm 20mins left boob
sleep
9.45 15 mins right boob
sleep
10.30 20 mins on each side
sleep
ad infinitum for 12 hours

She just would not sleep all night every time she yelled, back to the boob - we though that was her routine.

It was only after we had a bit of sleep that we realised we were meant to impose the routine on her, not her on us!

We also kept her in a hat overnight (in September) because we thought she'd get cold, then read that they should never wear a hat indoors and cried for days that "what could have happened"

Oh and no one else could hold her right, feed her right etc etc.

I think I was like this with my PNB right until she started nursery school. saying to the teacher "she is the youngest in the class you know, are you sure you're treating her specially?".
DS born when she was at nursery school, at that point we just realised exactly how embarrassing we'd been with her and have switched to being totally blase about it all!

I was obsessed with black out blinds. I would check the windows every night to make sure there was no light whatsoever coming into the room. This would involve closing the door and turning off the light to make sure it was completely dark.

I left my sister's house in a panic one day and told her the reason was because no new born should ever stay awake for more than 2 hours, it was really bad for them. I firmly believed this. Makes me cringe even now.

DD ws born in August 99 and on NYE millennium, Dh and I sat and gazed at her sleeping in her cot as Big Ben chimed away on TV, with tears in our eyes

rofl

Is this a recognised medical condition? It should be!

anchovy, there was a v tongue in cheek comment from a midwife in the weekend papers re: pushy parents/Apgar score envy!

My second child got a ten I'll have you all know

Of course by then I was too shattered and realistic to care. That will be the same Neglected Subsequent Child who first finger food was those cat cheerios (eeek )

whats an apgar score

It's when they check the baby over at birth - stands for something like Appearance, Pulse, G something, A something, Respiration - basically making sure baby is OK and doesn't need observation in Special Care. The midwife checks when first born and about 10 minutes later.

and how do i go about finding what ds' was?

My first thought when I first saw my firstborn was that he looked like a mini elvis with sideburns 'n' all

NSC

yes, this is good

oh also-apologising to PFB. OOOOOOOh yes. OOOOOOh yes. Did that

fecking took picutres of him. Last Friday as only. Last meal as only.

Then dd was born and I forgot to develop the sodding film

I remember declaring that "my baby should never ever have to cry"...

...and he is my third

Several friends had their PFBs within a few months of my PFB and sent emails around with pics (I had done it too). I remember feeling sorry for them that their babies were kinda funny lookin whereas mine was absolutely perfect. Looked at her newborn shots a few weeks ago (she's 13mo) -- nope, she was funny lookin too.

Waking up in the middle of the night and checking to make sure she was breathing. Repeatedly. I did that WAY TOO MANY TIMES.

Using a nightlight because I was afraid of the dark -- how was I going to be able to see if she was breathing!?!?

I cried because dd didn't have any books.

She was 2 weeks old.

Am pregnant with my first...tell me, is there any way of avoiding PFB syndrome? Can read these comments now completely able to see the insanity (and pmsl at some of them).
When my baby is born will all these things suddenly become rational and reasonable?! Will being from a big family help? Or will I still want to leave DH for not holding the baby as I would?!

when your baby is born you will realise that you, and only you, really understand how to parent properly and that we were all lesser beings

no you have to go through this, sorry

When I first had DS I became an expert in everyone elses ability to raise children....

"I think her 3 year old dd behaves that way because she is allowed to watch TV!!"

"I would never allow chocolate to pass the lips of my baby when he is only 2.."

"I am sure that if you pay enough attention to your child, then tantrums like THAT will never happen."

This embarrassing and shameful self-rightousness lasted until ds was about 6 months old.

Now 2, DS can sing countless Cbeebies tunes, eats chocolate whenever he can wangle a bit out of someone and has tantrums at least a couple times a week.

Meant "expert on"

I cringe about how much DH and I used to fuss over her every little whim in front of other people. Every thing from feeding (yes breast!) and nappy changes required both of us to jump up from our chairs, scuffle around in our humungous changing bag, and treat DD1 as though she were about to have major surgery, and needed a team of staff to deal with her.

When she was about a year old, we were at an afternboon open house party and there was a couple there who had a two month old baby. How DH and I laughed about them both needing to jump to attention and administer the (useless!) infacol to this tiny infant.

Oh yes, I also had a feeling of irrational panic when DD1 was 2 weeks old that she didn't have any toys to play with and I think I rushed to TRU and bought something.

I kept a little notebook by my side for the first few weeks of breastfeeding and I recorded the time, which side boob I fed from and for how long!

I found the notebook in my desk at work (I don't know why it was there) when I was clearing out my desk when I left 2 years later. I showed it to my friendly colleague and pmsl.

This thread has really made me laugh this morning .

I also took ds to be weighed every week without fail and I would delight in telling the checkout girls in Waitrose what centile he was on.

When ds was about 5 months old he had a little cough and I told the doctor that I was concerned that he had developed asthma due to not breastfeeding him long enough and taking him to a smoky bbq when he was 2 weeks old.

One of my friends chopped up raisins for her PFB. I'll be interested to see if she does it for her second.