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Original poster

Does anyone else think Mumsnet is a bit clichey?

348 replies

Sunlounger · 24/05/2004 18:49

New to Mumsnet...been on it a few times, hardly anyone ever answers posts - and it seems like the same people 'chat' to each other, and it's really hard to get involved....

OP posts:
Slink · 26/05/2004 21:09

Sunlounger i have been using this of and on for 6 months i still don't have regular chats with anyone and i am a really nice person just looking for new friends.

Angeliz · 26/05/2004 21:17

I wasn't sure for about the first week as people seemed to 'know' each other and i'd post then think, i wonder if they're chatting about that newbie idiot Angeliz
(but i am very paranoid at times!)

However. i just love the fact that you can talk to anyone and get your opinion across and that although paople disagree, there doesn't seem to be any lingering bad feelings!

I have started quite a few threads now and i get great responses and i sometimes print off a whole thread when it relates to dd to look at in years to come!
(Does that make me sad?>>>>>>>>>>>see.....paranoid freak!!!!!!!!!)

misdee · 26/05/2004 21:17

how come u all ignore me then?? eh eh!!

nah only joking.
but when you're first on here its a bit like being the new girl at school and u have to try and make friends all over again.

Azure · 26/05/2004 21:18

I've found it better when belonging to a particular "group" (currently the ttc thread, but aiming for the "Anyone due in Feb 2005" thread ), because you have a common interest and get to know a smaller number of people better. I have been posting for a while on Mumsnet but have not made any friends off-line. Of course now I'm sure I'll kill this thread dead!

Hulababy · 26/05/2004 21:24

All I know really is that I have used 3 parenting sites a lot since becoming pg with DD. She is now 2. I first started at Baby World onthe antenatal groups. I still sue that a bit - maybe once a week. I gave up on the forums there a year ago as very cliquey and also often very immature and sometimes even nasty. I also used to use Raising Kids (found out about MN there last Jan) and never really found it very friendly. Certainly felt very cliquey and outsiders were not welcome and often either humoured or treated quite badly. I came to Mn from a reference on a RK thread. I found it loads friendlier and better advice/more supportive of others and have stayed since - npw using it daily, after joining about 17 months ago. I now moderate one of the boards and really enjoy using MN, despite having run ins on 2 or 3 threads. I feel I am much more chatty on here tha in RL, and I have met some good online friends and npw starting to meet up with more and more in RL too I only use Mumsnet and one other parenting site regularly now - another very friendly site IME.

Aero · 27/05/2004 00:25

Am new to this myself and havn't felt this way at all - in fact quite the opposite. I have just included myself on any 'conversations' that are of any interest or benefit to me or that I can possibly help with or share an experience. It's nice to know there are lots of friendly people ot there who are happy to share knowledge, offer advice/support or whatever. I'm sure no-one means to leave you out - will be looking out for your posts and will try to make others feel as welcomed as I have. Just involve yourself though - I'm sure you won't feel like this for long.

Original poster
Sunlounger · 27/05/2004 10:42

Hi guys - wow this thread's humungous!!
Slink - perhaps you and me should meet in the bar one night - start up our own clique!! LOL

OP posts:
Toothache · 27/05/2004 10:59

Ixel - I feel like that too sometimes on Mumsnet!! S'pose it depends on what area you live in.... around here it's not really the 'done thing' to have a cleaner/gardener/nanny. Would like them though!

I have lots of wealthy friends who don't have all those things.

CountessDracula · 27/05/2004 11:02

I think people tend to have them where both partners work full time. At least we do.

Ixel just because I have a cleaner and a nanny doesn't mean I am some unapproachable clique monster! We are all different on mumsnet that's the joy of it I believe Just launch in and don't worry about what people have or don't have!

NomDePlume · 27/05/2004 11:14

Don't believe a word of it, Ixel ! CD is Veryyyyyyyyyyy cliquey

marthamoo · 27/05/2004 11:27

CD, you are an unapproachable clique monster. And I bet you've had tea at the Ritz.

some1 · 27/05/2004 11:28

Ixel...I don't have a nanny, aupair, 4beds, cleaner...all that, either.
I used to post a lot, and still find MN useful for information... but I feel left out on MN for other reasons... I've been attacked too many times. Just for being too different, it feels. I heard someone else deride MN as "the Perfect Mother's club", which I think is a fair criticism. People can be very judgemental/high and mighty on here. It doesn't work out as a supportive environment (for me, at least).

Kayleigh · 27/05/2004 11:34

some1, i'm suprised you feel that mumsnet is "The Perfect Mothers Club". Blimey, that's one club I'll never be a member of. I find totally the opposite - this is one of the very few places I feel i can come and admit that I am having a cr*p time being a mother, or going through a bad patch with my kids and I feel supported and not alone.

marthamoo · 27/05/2004 11:36

Me too kayleigh.

SoupDragon · 27/05/2004 11:44

If being a perfect mother involves bribing your child with biscuits and sticking them in front of Toon Disney all day, than yes, I AM a perfect mother! Seriously though, I think it's clear from a lot of the threads that we're not all perfect mothers although we clearly strive to be at least partially by asking for advice on our problems here.

I think every mother is perfect in some aspect of motherhood so Mumsnet is bound to have an expert on pretty much everything. If we could put us all into one mother, what a super mother she would be!

Everywhere is cliquey if you allow it to be. Just dive in and don't take anything too personally because it's very rarely meant that way, it's probably just how you've read it.

Fio2 · 27/05/2004 11:44

some1 is entitled to her opinion and I have to agree some of the threads are a bit high and mighty so I tend to steer clear of them. At the end of the day we are all different and have differing opinions so some people will get pissed off and others wont, I suppose

Aero · 27/05/2004 11:47

Ixle, another one here who doesn't have all the pre-mentioned - in fact I've been the nanny in my former life (pre kids) to a perfectly normal family where both parents worked and so childcare was necessary and paying me was a much cheaper option then paying individually for each child. (3 of them) Also the kids were looked after in their own home which was right for them. The parents have worked hard to get where they are and neither came from particularly wealthy backgrounds. I respect them enormously. I've learned a lot from them and we're still in regular contact. Everyone is different, but if we're on mn we must have something in common.
I hope you will feel more involved - just throw yourself in. I'm new too and so far it's been a good experience. Thank you to all who've made me feel welcome!

CODalmighty · 27/05/2004 11:48

I had cleaner but she didnt clean perfectly enough ofr me

lol
no I dint need help anymore as baby was bigger.

I hate threads like this If you dont like Mn then find another forum - dont winge fgs!

SoupDragon · 27/05/2004 11:57

Grrrrr! It's the Fierce Fish!

Have a biggish house/garden, spare room packed to the gunnels with cr*p and we sacked the cleaner because her son made more mess than she cleaned up

SoupDragon · 27/05/2004 11:58

And we had a cleaner because I am inherently lazy

CountessDracula · 27/05/2004 11:58

oi NdePWSM I am not. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Fio2 · 27/05/2004 11:59

we have a courtyard

CODalmighty · 27/05/2004 12:00

we have an estate

CountessDracula · 27/05/2004 12:01

A courtyard? Tell more Fio

(cod a mondeo estate doesn't count)

CODalmighty · 27/05/2004 12:02

an aread of land ya know