Does anyone else think Mumsnet is a bit clichey?

[Sunlounger]

New to Mumsnet...been on it a few times, hardly anyone ever answers posts - and it seems like the same people 'chat' to each other, and it's really hard to get involved....

It's really all in your attitude. For example, if you are the last poster on a thread you can think "Oooh, nobody likes me. I'm a thread killer, huff, sob" or you could be like me and think "Aha, I have the last word AGAIN - hoorah!"

Come on, which is the most likely scenario. a: people are busy - esp at the weekend and are probably in the sun with their kids or have simply missed the thread OR b: Every single one of us has taken an irrational dislike to your nickname (despite not really knowing anything about you) and is deliberately excluding you?

In life it really helps to assume benign rather than malign motives to others.

Ha, I remember the very early days of mumsnet when there was almost no traffic and I rang up one of the founders (who is a friend) to ask about my pregnancy "heart palpitations" and she said i would have to start a thread about it. I don't think she or anyone else then answered so I went off to casualty

nooo...I want the last word

the last word is mine

this thread has been really useful.
on a point of etiquette: i have been thinking a lot about a mn who wrote a very sad thread a week or so ago - i would like her to know that just because the immediacy of her problem has gone, it doesn't mean she has been forgotten or that it's assumed her issue is dealt with now.
BUT - i don't want to resurrect her thread as she may prefer some privacy at the moment. emailing would feel too personal as we obviously don't know each other.

No no no, you are all wrong - I am the ultimate thread killer!!!!

I must admit Sunlounger, I have felt, although I've been on here for a while, not so much that it is cliquey but that I must just be out of the loop.

I know I butt into conversations and get totally ignored, it can be galling, especially if I am feeling a bit down. I also know I ticked off a large number of regulars on a topic I will never discuss again!!! Totally misunderstood but never mind, happens to me all the time

I stick with mumsnet though as I have gotten a lot of good advice, especially from the fellow mums of twins (and triplets has always good advice!)

I think you'll find I am the original and ultimate thread killer

tweeny, I don't know who you're talking about and you may have logged off by now but IME it's never wrong to send someone a contact message; if they don't want it they can ignore it, or they may have barred contacts, but offering communication can never hurt.

You are obviously still thinking about her - reach out!

interesting... some of the people who have posted on this thread and said they too have seemed to have been ignored or left out are people i always thought were in the "cliques"...just shows that we all have our "left out" moments ps i have mine too, i post so late that sometimes i wonder if people think im a troll!

ha ha, but you don't post later than me tonight, nightowl. Poor me, usually posting early in thr morning, late at night or at weekends - I miss lots of juicy active conversations that way. It's a wonder anyone talks to me at all!

I find the best way to get an overall view of mumsnet talk it not to click on the active conversations threads but scroll down all the days' threads.

I can feel so guilty when I don't finish posting on all the threads I want to at a given time. I see threads I can relate to, people I really want to say something to, but whizz past without stopping, yet post on others. Then agonise that if 'x' sees I've posted today but missed her thread out, will she think I don't care or I disagree? In all probability, 'x' is totally unaware of this. But I wish there was some shorthand for saying 'read your thread, want to say something but run out of time'.

I do think more groups are forming on mumsnet, just because it's so big and people have to choose which threads to read and reply to. I haven't come across any thread discussion that makes me feel positively unwelcome, though.

I quite enjoy breaking into different threads with people I don't recognise, and when I have the time (which sadly is rare) I try to do this.

just wanted to add that i generally dont post on a thread if i dont think i have anything helpful to say...sometimes with the very sad threads i get a bit "type tied" and feel i may make things worse if i say the wrong thing so i dont post. doesnt mean i havent read them though.

Hi nightowl, good to see you.

hi cm, how are you?

Really good. The weather is beautiful here, and we went to playgroup and the park today. Colin is 9 mo. and just beginning to crawl and cruise, and is lots of fun in general these days. Are you better, I hope?

im not so bad thanks, if youre going to be around to chat for a while shall we start another thread up? we're hyjacking again!

oops! and on the cliquey thread too, so sorry sunlounger. It's a great thread though, provoked quite a lot of conversation. At least we bumped up your thread, so it will probably be there in the morning.

I've been posting on here for ages and yet because I haven't really been "into" mumsnet fior about 3 months due to family stuffups, I don't really recognise the new people. I still reply to people though because I can still remember the first post I did, which was fairly mild and people talked to me! I was so thrilled (yes, I know I am sad) but sometimes people really need people and it doesn't matter how old/who you are. I can relate better to slightly older people and SN people but I would always try to talk to/help anyone . NEVER stop posting-Mumsnet is wonderful and people post at odd times/days because everyone's lifestyle is different. See Sunlounger, WE DO TALK TO YOU and I'm a REALLY OLD Mumsnetter!!

I didn't feel too left out until I read the thread about cleaners a while back... made me feel like the only mum in the world without a nanny/cleaner/au pair/big house/garden/spare room/rich husband etc etc... where am I going wrong?!

I hope people dont think im cliquey. I know i do always look out for people ive chatted to before but thats why i come on because i get lonely, fed up, pissed off and i need to chat to people who understand.Or things i find amusing and funny i know other mums can relate to, i mean who else can you talk to about the colour of your kids poo.
Ive made some great friendships on Mumsnet and clicked with alot of people, but i hope i always welcome newcomers in the way i was welcomed. I tend to post on threads that i can help with and that relate to me as im sure other mumsnetters do, new and old so thats why some will get lots of ans and some only a few.

I dont think mumsnet is cliquey, it takes a while for people to recognise you and then they always ask after your probs, kids partner etc, because they care and can sympathise or congratulate, not cos they are cliquey.It took me a few months to settle into mums net and realise this.

I found this thread v encouraging. I have been on MN for quite a while but have been a bit discouraged lately and would often type half a response and then delete it. So after reading all the supportive posts I have decided to just jump right in again.

think I know wha tyou are talking about paula- but think that's all long forgotton! Hopefully on both sides

Actually I quite like the way on here I can have a big disagreement with someone and then find myself in total agreement with them later on something else. Each conversation is very black and white and you can't be like that in RL.

I'm MUCH more honest on here than I am in RL. Actually find coming on here quite cathartic.

Ixel -- are you still feeling left out about the cleaner? We have a mad bulgarian student who is always looking for extra work (North or East London). And no, I don't have immaculate house/nanny/au pair/rich husband/4 x 4 (would be nice, though, wouldn't it?).