Does anyone else think Mumsnet is a bit clichey?

[Sunlounger]

New to Mumsnet...been on it a few times, hardly anyone ever answers posts - and it seems like the same people 'chat' to each other, and it's really hard to get involved....

Not long ago i would never have imagined posting on this sort of site (in fact didn't know anything like it existed), but i've found it a wonderful opportunity to listen and talk to people who I wouldn't meet in RL. It obviously is cliquey in the sense that there are some strong personalities and people who post really frequently, but lots of their chat is fun and I love all coddy's threads for example and lots of others and I've had some great support from people who have gone out of their way to help me out. There are some threads that I've killed not once, not twice but three times but i guess the rationale of that is that if you kill a thread then everyone's lost interest so nobody knows.

I think in some ways it can be a bit clicky, but if you keep posting and butting in lol, you get there. Mumsnet does get quiet, i think its a great place to get help support friendship etc etc.

I came in really late to this conversation and din't read all your posts till after! Typical me. It had all been said before! i'm always the last one to get involved.

Aloha - I only really go to active conversations apart fromn the special needs section. Wish i had all day to spend on mumsnet and mumsnet only!

SEe cause i've butted in on here,!

I took so long to write that that 2 people who have welcomed me are the previous two posts so big thanks to them. Now will i end this thread talking to myself?

hi sunlounger,
I have only been posting for a few weeks and have been ignored loads , but have also got some lovely replies as well - but then I haven't responded to everything I've seen, so swings and roundabouts. I think mumsnet is absolutely brilliant, posters generally very kind, some fantastic advice, and very funny too
I have posted last on loads of threads and am now keeping score as I see it as a bit of a challenge.......

Thomcat, to answer, I try to avoid mumsnet as once logged on (always when I should be working) I stay for hours browsing... it just takes too much of my time! Like this morning, I logged on to tell anyone interested about strawberry picture (very small picture by the way), and here I am, on a totally different thread and only 40 minutes to go before I have to collect dd from nursery!

(It was me not Thomcat ). Am glad to see that you are getting sucked into the MN vortex too, skie

Tammybear - Thanks for that 50 Active Conversations explanation!!

I have noticed that less people respond now - mainly because there are more people posting and the thread often disappears quite quickly off the main page. A year or so ago I posted a few problems and had a great response but the last one I posted only really one person responded. I don't think it is clichey - there just seem to be a group of regular posters - esp. in the chat rooms and the same few people seem to be constantly starting chat threads. Best think is never to take anything personally!

I always thought that I nwas a very sucessful thread killer - so I'll test that out here! (Maybe the name's a little intimadating. I'm not great at posting long replies myself so don't always expect them.I'm always impressed by the quality and quantity of advice that people post - I suspect a lot of you are better typists than me

SL look what you've started.

I think when any newbbie posts they are going to feel a little wary and doubtful as to any response, but anyone who does post must realise that it does go quiet at certain times, Please don't feel as though you are being ignored on purpose, I'm sure people with experience of that particular problem are the best to respond, my suggestion is to 'bump up' anything you have posted if you are not getting any reply's at that time, I'm sure wise mn's will respond eventually.....I don't personally think this is cliquey at all.

Just remembering that when I started posting (15+ months ago) the people who were complaining then about it being cliquey are the regular posters now!

aha, an excellent ninja direct strike
(I mean good point)

Hi tiamaria - how are you?

Annie2 - whereabouts are you moving to?

whooo hoooo its me... I've done it

Its all in the timing

I've been on Mn since 2000, and it's got huge over the years. It's impossible to read and respond to all threads, but people on here have good hearts, big shoulders, and lovely ears. I post and get no replies but it's not something I tend to take personally.

I would just join in by shouting very loudly

I think I've posted as well and gotten no or very few replie, but I tend to agree with everyone else - its just a very busy site these days and things get missed I wouldn't take it too personally.

On the other hand, when I've had some very big issues for me - like bad MSS results for Downs, I had some beautiful and very helpful replies and I'll never forget them.

I'm guilty of not always posting on threads I maybe would have some input on like m/c etc, but its just a time thing. I spend too much time on MN as it is when I should be bloody cleaning..........!!!

I think we've all probably posted at the wrong moment at some point or other and you just have to accept that or, as people have already said, keep bumping up your thread until it's a busier time.

For me personally the bar area is a bit of a non-starter as there it really does seem to be people chatting who've known each other for a long while and it's hard to link into the sense of humour.

BUT on the general topics threads I've had no end of support and help. Especially one evening when I was very worried about dd who was ill and dehydrated and lethargic. I took her to A&E in the end and the next morning I had over 50 messages of encouragement waiting for me which was so touching and really made me feel not alone.

I think one has to remember the way people use the internet. If you're posting from work and even from home you may have a relatively limited time so you'll tend to respond to the messages that interest you or you feel you can help with. It would actually be impossible to read everything and respond.

this is a great thread for discovering different people - loads of names I have never heard before!!

Hallo!!

I don't think it's cliquey really. I've been mumsnetting for the last 18 months or so, and last year when I had a major MAJOR crisis, I found a number of the "regulars" really sympathetic, several going out of their way to help.

Then at the end of last year I said something a bit contraversial (to be honest, something I probably wouldn't have said to people's faces, but I believed it, still do). I was soundly rounded upon for my views, and to be honest didn't come on the site for a few weeks, cos I was quite hurt.

But I couldn't stay away for long, I missed everyone too much, and when I did come back lots of people asked if I was OK, and said they had missed me.

As for no replies on threads, well it happens. I have joked in the past about my ability to kill a thread completely, and sometimes it does feel like you're deliberately being 'blanked', but I think it's just that sometimes we all get a bit over-sensitive. I have certainly NEVER thought "Oh I'm not replying to that name", but do feel I should only respond if I've got something useful to contribute.

Oh, and for the record, I sometimes look at the bar threads, but seldom get involved. The bar regulars do tend to have their in-jokes, not meant to exclude anyone else, just that they've developed over a few hours/days.

Sorry if anyone feels excluded, I'm sure 99.99999% of us don't intend it.

this htread comes up every so often. and invariably ht peron complaining soon becomes a MN regular

Pes - I'm fine thanks. Nice to hear from you and Tammybear.

Sunlounger - Thanks for starting this thread. Lots of useful tips and advice on here.

Well I have been called cliquey by someone on here before but I dont think I am. I think you do tend to answer people to whom you have 'chatted' to before. I also think you realise after a time that there are people who are on your wavelength and people who arent. I also know now when a contraversial debate is going to spark so I keep out the way But there are that many people who post on here so there are going to be little groups all over this board. Like people have said before, us SN mums tend to know one another but we post about an emotive subject to us and I think it makes us feel closer. Although, like others have said it is not just Sn mums who post on there - which is great! I will shut up now and no I dont think it is cliquey but then again it is in a way

Oh and lou33, how do you know about my big shoulders?

I've been posting on MN for almost a year now and have never had 150 replies to a thread I've started

I can see how it does appear cliquey - but I think that's inevitable when you first come on here and don't know any of the names. When archived threads are resurrected and I read them, I hardly recognise any of the names on them - they have either changed their nicknames or stopped posting on MN. That's the natural progression of things - people leave, new people come, MN moves on. As Coddy says, this topic does come up from time to time, and a newbie (if they keep posting!) soon becomes a regular.

I am a regular bar propper upper - probably sound like I've been going in there for years, know everybody intimately, and have met them all IRL. I haven't! I went to my first MN meet up last Friday. Sometimes when the bar is very busy you can get overlooked - I have been. So then I shout 'til someone says hello!

I do say hello and respond to people I know - I do IRL too, that's human nature. But I truly don't think anyone is intentionally ignored, especially not because they are a new name. Just stick your oar in all over, that's what I did.