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Original poster

Are you anti-abortion? why?

359 replies

HAPPYFACE · 21/10/2006 08:04

Reading another thread has made me keep thinking this question. I don't understand how anyone can be totally one way.
For me I think it is up to each person and I wouldn't judge anyones decision.
I personally think that whether to keep a child is complex. It changes your life forever when you have children! I don't see how it is beneficial to mother or child if their lives will be miserable.
You only get ONE LIFE and need to make the most of it.

OP posts:
GhoulsToo · 22/10/2006 11:09

caligula - my reason (and it may be a crock of sh...)

Way back in the 70's when I had dd I was in bed beside an Asian lady who I became friendly with during our stay in hospital (it was up to a week in those days!) and she told me she knew women who went privately for abortion because of the sex of the baby - I think it was girls that were aborted, these abortions being carried out in Britain).

personally, I think that's horrifying (if true).

kittythescarygoblin · 22/10/2006 11:13

I have often wondered (for those people like me who have problems with abortion because of my own experiences but still think it is right that people have the right to chose.) where having the coil fitted fits into it all. When I had one for a while I was struggling with it, I kept thinking that they might have been many fertilised eggs that were prevented from developing.
That bothered me. When is a life a life? I would much rather prevent those eggs from being released. Oh i don't know.

QuootieSpookypie · 22/10/2006 11:16

Not sure Kitty - I stopped taking the pill, and opted out from the injection because I read, if an egg does get fertilised, it gets aborted. My experience effected me so deeply, DH and I have agreed to never use contraception, only natural and absitense. Afterwards, even seeing a condom (!) made me burst into tears.

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 22/10/2006 11:16

GT I agree with you that is an horrific situation and I'm not sure how many of those women are acting of their own free will.

I'm not sure what the answer is to that - change society so that baby girls are valued as highly as baby boys?

The fact that women are forced to abort their baby girls in some parts of the world and in some cultures, is as big a deal as the lack of access to safe legal abortion in others, imo.

Pruni · 22/10/2006 11:17

Message withdrawn

CreepyCrawlyCarmenere · 22/10/2006 11:19

I believe GT that that is the very reason that some hospitals have a policy of not telling the sex of the baby

QuootieSpookypie · 22/10/2006 11:19

I think there are certain extreme and rare situations where abortions can be justified... but on the basis of... money etc., its just.. wrong.

QuootieSpookypie · 22/10/2006 11:21

Sorry Pruni, you've lost me ?

Pruni · 22/10/2006 11:24

Message withdrawn

Pruni · 22/10/2006 11:25

Message withdrawn

ruty · 22/10/2006 11:29

but if you abort after knowing the sex of the baby that is post 20 weeks, yes? Can't we have a 12 week cut off point at least? 20 weeks plus seems absolutely horrific, remembering ds's scan at that date.

ruty · 22/10/2006 11:30

except for medical complications i mean.

nutcracker · 22/10/2006 11:30

I cannot believe some of the attitudes on this thread.
Well done you have just manage to make me feel even worse about my termination than I thought I could, and believe me I have felt so crap about it over the years I was perscribed sleeping tabs at one point just so I could shut my eyes and not remember what I had done.

It is never as black and white as some of you think, and i'm sorry but until you are in the position you cannot say what you would do.

I always said I would never ever have a termination. I was being treated for PND when I discovered I was pregnant. Dd1 was 2.6 and Dd2 was 3mths old, oh and our house was being repossessed.
When the test came uo postive I was so shocked, but my immeidate reaction was 'well it's happened, i'll have to cope'.
Everyone elses reactions were totally different. P's reaction was 'well thats just fucking great, how much is it gonna cost to sort this out ?'
My g.p and health visitor both said that basically there was no way I would cope and that I would be endangering my mental health if I had the baby, and made me feel as though i'd be putting the care of my existing children at great risk.

I sat lay there many a night willing someone to take me to one side and tell me I would cope, I would be ok, etc etc but no one did and i felt powerless to fight on my own, so I agreed a termination was best and had it done at 11 weeks.

I wanted that baby, I cried and screamed in my sleep for months afterwards whilst P would shake me awake and tell me to shut up. I am the one who has got to live with 'murdering my own baby' for the rest of my life.

Like I said, I just cannot believe the attitude of some people on here.

QuootieSpookypie · 22/10/2006 11:31

Ive thought about that... but... the reason I rushed mine because I thought the cutoff was 12 weeks... who knows if I had thought I had time to think about it...

But then I have 12 week scan pictures of DS, and I just cant look at them... because they arent the blobs you imagine them to be... but tiny babies

nutcracker · 22/10/2006 11:33

I did actually have to have a scan before my termination, my womb is an odd shape and they wanted to check exactly where the baby was

lulumama · 22/10/2006 11:33

12 week cut off

well, the 20 wek anomaly scan will show things that would not be seen at 12 weeks....that might indicate a woman would wish to choose to terminate

a youn girl, raped , might be in denial for a few weeeks..and would therfore not get an abortion if 12 week cut off...

women with irregluar cycles might not even realise they are pregnant for several weeks

and it might not give enought time for women to find the help

AND - it might make a woman rush into a decision, where if she had had some more time and support...may well have decided to continue with the pregnancy

IMO

lulumama · 22/10/2006 11:34

x post with quootie..proves the point a little..

QuootieSpookypie · 22/10/2006 11:35

up & down lulu - comp died when I was in last nights bar so went to bed.

QuootieSpookypie · 22/10/2006 11:36

nutcracker - I had scan aswell, but screen facing away ((hugs))

izzybiz · 22/10/2006 11:36

I had to go to a clinic for a second doctors signature, and sat in the waiting room looking at the other women there, one was in a smart suit, obviously just finished work, in her 30s.
And i sat there thinking "whats her excuse?"
I went in to see the nurse and was crying and saying" i dont even really agree with abortion how can i do this?"
Well i had to, or die and leave my teenage son and 3 month old Dd with my Dp.
Untill you are faced with something you can never know for certain what you would do.

izzybiz · 22/10/2006 11:38

I also had a scan and was told i wouldnt see it, the nurse put the picture on the table when i stood up. I was 8 weeks and it looked like a little bean.

ruty · 22/10/2006 11:40

really didn't mean to offend, i understand the points raised. It is a very difficult subject and every pregnancy has to be evaluated individually.

nutcracker · 22/10/2006 11:40

I didn't look at my scan, but having already had 2 babies I knew exactly how it would look, and had to answer questions about which side my previous pregnancies had been on, and the doctor explaing the odd shape of my womb to someone who was stodd watching, not sure who they were.

QuootieSpookypie · 22/10/2006 11:42

I remember the nurse saying "this one isnt shy"... like he/she had his/her own little character...

nutcracker · 22/10/2006 11:45

The staff were crap at the clinic I went to. I remember crying whilst I was lying on the trolly afterwards and a nurse told me to be quiet as I would upset other patients.