Swagger Inn - 72. Fuck off Christmas, bollocks to you New Year, it's the Series Two Countdown!

[IsawMommyFolknSantaClaus]

Woohoo!

Only those in need of hot beardy fuckers dressed in leather need enter.

Ayethengyoo.

And finally, we know for sure how old howie is.

sparkle you are so going to hell

Mr C Senior has just wished me a Merry Christmas

He's also used that pic that wasn't mine as his Christmas greeting on his twitter page. I wonder if he sent it to Santi?

#OneDegreeOfSeparation

Of course I'm not going to hell Madame. God forgives.

Awwww, you and papi c - you two are so close! Did you say feliz navidad?

Madame Thank you for posting those.

Do you have any idea what went through my mind at this sentence

This is the whole of tom's column

Carolina you naughty Lady

Santa's elves have just left some reindeer dust. MlleElk went temporarily mental, then toy story sucked her back in....I'm sure TB said that's how they got the child in Utopia to look vacant and moronic. Yup....works round here too!

Hope everyone's having a lovely Christmas Eve so far.

BIL now home

Excellent news Elk

I have painted my nails and soaked in the bath and am settling down for the rest of the evening in front of telly

Brilliant news Elk!

Well wenches. I've just got in from work. We literally had a queue out the door at our usual end of play. What can you do? Anyhow, I've survived even tho I've been wearing a Christmas jumper all day which isn't exactly The White Company ... I'm irritated by the unnatural fibres .

Managed to watch the new Tom vid at lunch. He's just the loveliest man. I will love him forever.

Please can someone do a quick link for the Steve Wright bit even if it is short I must listen

My elves have been busy here. Mr C has prepped all the meat. Boys have prepped all the veg. Better than I would have done. House is immaculate. I am so entirely fucking lucky it's untrue and I am truly thankful.

I hope all those with littlies have them all tucked in, fast asleep.... Or nearly .

As I've already had a large port, I'd like to wish you all Nadolig Llawen Happy Christmas and good health and happiness in the New Year. At least we know we'll all be happy on the 2nd.

Will look in later but now must crack on for a bit.

Hello Comtess. I dreamt about you last night. Not sure what it was about, but you knew the doctor I used to work for.

Here you go:

Steve Wright in the Afternoon

Great news Elk

I've just noticed, Steve Wright said "9.00pm this Friday" . It's next, you wanker.

Yes, great news Elk.

Yr welcome carolina.

elk re bil.

Nadolig llawen comtesse, everywench!

Corralling ds into bed right now.

Evening all.

Just popping in, haven't had time to catch up yet. Went to see Penguins of Madagascar this afternoon - hilaire, recommended.

Probably won't get on here much over the next couple of days so have a very Happy Christmas Wenches One and All. Have a fabulous time you lovelies. x

I will say it now as I don't know when I can come back to you

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS WENCHIES.

THERE.
Now, all that's left is to give you all the snog/fondle combo of your fucking dreams and hope that Santa brings me what I want for Christmas.

THAT IS TAV LIT OF THE NORAH/PORTHOS VARIETY.

Although I suppose any and all entries would be gratefully received.
ILYA, etc etc etc.
Latersz.

Of course I Feliz Navidaded him back Madame

Elves have been to doorstep with PJs all round.

We are about to watch Skyfall, that oh so Christmassy of films. It was supposed to be Arthur Christmas. I'm not going to argue against Daniel Craig though.

Everything is done except my nails. If I do them now, can I do required Christmas duties later without ruining? hmmm. Actually, just remembered I have one more to wrap.

Laterzzz. If anyone's still on here.

And I've just remembered I haven't watched today's Advent Calendar & it could well be my favourite

Wait a minute, Jess are you going on a date?

Marvellous thanks Apricot. You're so brilliant at finding things for me, I do appreciate it a lot xx

Ps glad to hear I'm alive and well in your dreams . Ref the Dr, maybe I do .

I'm guessing Mr Apricot has got a massive print of the Apricot/Tom photo all framed and wrapped.

Madame, lovely RT article! I'm so excited. And it's just fab we don't have to wait until Feb.

Carolina, hope you're having a lovely evening in and it works out tomorrow. Look after yourself my lovely.

Helen... I had a horrible thought.... You're not out back slaughtering one of your birds are you?

Sparks. I'm so about your level of intimacy with Santipapa. I'm not sure you could cope with being his StepMum. Really. I think that could end badly , Feliz Navidad indeed.

Right I'm orf to watch Gav and Stac special and cuckoo even tho Tamla's not in it anymore.

Ooh WW glad you've had a fab day btw xx

Oh and fact that Tom gets a bit teary and has to cover it with a joke in that Op Smile Vid made my ovaries explode. That is all.

Oh and that vid. Not his kitchen... I reckon that's the shed at his Mum's . Bet Badders wouldn't get shed rage in Tom's shed eh...

Hoping all wenches have had fab Christmas Eves.

DS2 is very excited. Waiting for DS1 to go to bed then got to wrap the rest of the presents.

What I really want to do is soak in a hot bath with Santi but I can't because it's Wednesday

Laterz wenches

Hadn't thought of it like that Comtess

Note to self: when you meet him in RL perhaps keep Papa exchanges to self. In order to avoid any misunderstanding.

Phew, thanks Comtess. Could've ended very messily.

Aubergine nail polish seemed like such a good idea a week ago. Not so much now at 9.15 on Christmas Eve when I want to remove it to apply festive red.

I'm back from my meal. Boys are tired out and in bed. Stockings have been filled and presents are under the tree.

I bid you all goodnight and wish you a lovely wenchy Christmas. Night night ILYA and I'll see you on the other side of the drinking, eating and unwrapping.

Ok, DC asleep, reindeer food scattered, large whiskey and mince pies left for the big man, pressies wrapped, beer drunk, veg prepped, turkey stuffed and table set. I'm now knackered and want my lovely big new bed.

Night all, I hope you've all been bad enough to warrant special gifts