Swagger Inn Thread 71 - Wench like your life depends on it, which incidentally it does (if you're with the Cardnial)

[SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp]

Flings open doors dramatically..... (but looks a bit more cheerful than certain beardy sullen wall-leaners)

Lines up alcohol...

Musketeers at the ready....

Unleash the wenches....

he's such a girl, mrsb.

I am OFFICIALLY ON HOLIDAY.

9 was the no-input-required age in this house for mornings. So only another 8.5 years to go Elk.

I have been very sensible & had scrambled eggs on toast for lunch. This is my prosecco buffer for later. Yay me.

Frigging left my mobile at work though, which isn't good when I won't be back til 5 Jan. Luckily Xmas do tonight means my colleague can bring it. Unluckily I now cannot text another mum to let her know MY mum will be collecting DS3 from a restaurant later. So no doubt she's going to think I am some sort of neglectful parent. I am hoping a 10 y-o can be convincing that he is actually related to the stranger who has come to collect him.

Right. Am off to epilate legs & wrap presents.

Oh god does it never get any better norah? Sometimes I wonder if it'll get better when he's more interested in girls, but that's a whole other set of problems . DD at least washes, which is lucky as she's the one with the mucky hobbies.

drink sounds frustrating, you can take me bra shopping though. I'd be suitably grateful

don't get those the wrong way round sparks

Argh Mr Mouse is annoying the absolute fuck out of me. He's lost his keys and is turning the house upside down to find them and ruining my lovely clean house and stomping about the place, generally being a prat.

I HATE HATE FUCKING HATE when he does this. Just look after your bloody keys you silly piece of wank. Oh and maybe not leave them in toddler reach.

wise words mouse. And most irritating of all is that you'd find them in 20 seconds without the mess & drama because you wouldn't be manlooking. (You may want to contact mrsbee & get her to add mrmouse to her festive hitlist.)

MrsBee has a hit list?

Is it like Santa's naughty list?

Right, there has been an awful lot of Tom, Tom & more Tom lately. Understandable maybe given the other evening. But there are two other musketeers (and Dog)

So for the rest of us:

He can definitely go on the list fancy. Worst thing is he's got the boys over excited and they're 'helping' by finding random bits of crap and just running around, adding to the chaos.

carolina I think her hitlist only consists of mrbeee at the moment , but she shows flair for creating unusual assassination methods. I reckon she's a natural.

oh no mouse. Death is almost too good for him

one for the Dog lovers

This one's for norah & flopsy

Drink I officially adore your mother

If my tree doesn't arrive in the next 20 minutes I'm sending him round

There can never be too many pics of The Stare.

(She can bog off though)

Drink you sound very caring though.

Elk we start 15 minutes early (to leave the house). Then everyone has time to faff about, find stuff, brush teeth. Nightmare with baby though. DD2 is better now but a year ago it was like Norah trying to get everyone out.

I've ordered a Mooncup. Wish me luck! Not an actual Mooncup but a different brand, after months of research, reading reviews, watching YouTube videos (yes really).

Well done Fancy. Keep going, I am enjoying it being someone other than me doing Aramis for a change.

got to go, guests have arrived. but no tree yet

You might be nore suited character wise.

Hmmm.
So the award for best and most attentive parent goes to me. I've been so excited about series 2 starting that I totes forgot that it is also going to be dd's birthday!
Ahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa.
Oops.

I'd like to go bra shopping with you drinky.

Norah....stop kidding yourself.
I AM Your list.
You know it baby

Oh fuck...it's mums birthday too!

Well...we shall do something lovely during the day :)

MrsBee's Festive HitList:

MrB (for being generally shit at Christmas preperation / no help at all)
MrMadame (re childcare and Christmas lunch fuckwittery)
Norah's Twatbadger (for all things generally)
MrMouse (for losing keys and messing up stuff)
MrBadders (for fucktrumpetry and shedlove).

Any others while I'm at it?? You have all got life insurance and death in service packages on them haven't you? Mine is actually worth more dead than alive