Swagger Inn Thread 71 - Wench like your life depends on it, which incidentally it does (if you're with the Cardnial)

[SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp]

Flings open doors dramatically..... (but looks a bit more cheerful than certain beardy sullen wall-leaners)

Lines up alcohol...

Musketeers at the ready....

Unleash the wenches....

Is he doing a slow, knowing smirk?
Is he not breaking eye contact?
He stroking it now isn't he?

gah. work AGAIN. Do all people feel like that when opening their emails? like they want to scream on the inside --and let out a noise outloud too-.

Yes Drink. Given I am not on leave and therefore my out of office setting isn't on I am dreading the number of e-mails I will be going back to. Still... there's always the 'Delete' button

Aww drinky.

Morning wenches.

I'm loving the descriptions of everyone's mornings.
I have shit to do but I have no idea what that shit is. I'm just going to loiter on here with a cup of tea till it comes back to me.

Yes Norah I'm very turned on, meow

"Vill du ha ett ligg" (would you like a shag) isn't wrong but I would say "känner du för ett ligg" (do you feel like a shag).

Ligg = shag, Ligga = shagging (ligga means lay down, you could also use it for "ligga i sängen", laying down on the bed for example, so it's not just naughty, just totally unsexy)

Doesn't everyone else have a tom shrine?
Just me then?......

Morning! Can't stop but just wanted to grab another fix of TB recount from other night and remember to save the photo for future licking , and to see if any more have been added....

Apricot - besides actual snogging, I'm not sure the evening could have gone any better in terms of hopes and dreams, could it, eh!? side eyes Elk
I am vicariously enjoying your buzz whilst going about all the joyous shitty Chrimbo build up.

Carolina - FUCK ME! That is almost all. Another fabulous recount of events. I feel like I was there. Love that his beard was so soft and that he kept hold of you. He just sounds so gorgeously divine and it's lovely to know what to expect next time FMPC (personal commitments)

The one thing that really jumped out from your story though, was this..... immune system or no, YOUR germs are fo sho IN him now. That is, part of YOU is in HIM
Obviously in an ideal world, it would be the other way around, but it's a start! We'll take it.

Personally, I would prefer the only microscopic part of him in me, to be his spermens, but I'll more than happily take germs.

Fab work all of you!! Especially Mr A who is a frigging legend!

Mavis - aghaghaghaghaghaghaghag Go tell it to the Mavis RL insert Brilliant!

Elk - same here too. Dd is only person I know who can take 30 mins to eat two slices of toast on a school day, yet frigging inhale the lot in 5 secs flat on the weekends/hols! Also, any and every problem has to present itself in the final minute when ushering to the door.

Norah - erm.....you're doing a sterling job?!?

Off out for festive shopathon now. Layers lubbers. X

I guess 'do you feel like a shag?' Is more polite.

Hannah no, it couldn't have gone better, except that I wish we'd taken more photos and asked more questions, but I'm sure Carolina and Elk will confirm, we were somewhat gobsmacked that he actually left the people he was talking to and came over to us. We hadn't made any plans and were totally unable to think straight.

Afternoon wenches!

This is way too exciting - a genuine musketeer/wench meeting! And you didn't get arrested! Am well impressed.... still think you should have got PC's phone number and address though

Still no tree

Did my good deed for the day & made sure one of the friends I met today knew s2 starts January 2nd.

Well you all seem frightfully polite in the mornings. I got so sick of repeating the same phrases every day, over & over I just pared it down to:

TEETH
HAIR
COATS
SHOES
BAGS
FRONT DOOR, NOW
At volume.

The sad thing is that at 12 & 14, they still reminding about teeth.

Off to chase up my tree

Morning Hannah.

I hadn't thought of it quite as you described but yeah... TB now has some of my germs bobbing around inside him.

Apricot is spot on. For him to actually excuse himself from the people he was talking to specifically to come over to us was amazeballs.

Am still getting over how Mr Apes pulled it off. WE OWE MR A BIGTIME! I can never thank him enough!

Also amazed that TB even remembered why we hadn't been there before the service. Asking Apes about the pub and whether it had been nice. Lovely man!

Ok. I officially fancy TB (yto) now. Not like team Athos of course, but in an admiring, he looks like fun, yeah I'd go there way.
Don't worry, am not joining any queues, won't steal him or nuffink. But if anyone wants a three/foursome I am your wench
I share nicely, as is normal on team Porthos (floppers my love I hope you are ok) and take turns.

fancy if I don't remind my 16 and 13 y/o they wouldn't wash, wear clean clothes or clean their teeth and out deodorant on.
Ugh.

TEAM ATHOS DO NOT DO SHARING

BADDERS?! Is this not the season of goodwill? Team Athos can share a little bit can't we?

Thinks hard for a moment

TEAM ATHOS DO NOT DO SHARING!

I DO NOT WANT TO SHARE. I THOUGHT I WAS CLEAR ABOUT THAT. JUST THE OCCASIONAL THREE/FOURSOME

Ffs RTFT.
In fact, fuck yous.

carolina I'm self emplyed so sadly can't exterminate. exterminate the emails. have to actually read them and then sensible respond. at the moment I am having an exchange with a guy and I'm pretty sure we are assuming different thing .

Hi norah can you crochet me a shield away from the world .

Yeah. You like that don't you?

awww, look at puggy Athos...

Yes drinky I can.

Aaawww - Norah. I think a foursome - perhaps a fivesome, sixsome can be arranged. Depends on Athos' stamina really or how drunk he is at the time.

Drink... the only reason I'll be able to delete many of the e-mails is because having received no response from me any branch staff or clients will have probably called in and spoken to someone else in the meantime.

I do and don't envy you being self-employed. On the one hand you are your own boss but on the other you don't have the luxury of someone else being able to step in when you are ill or on holiday. HUGS DRINK

aaargh.
end of november.

• mother, why don't I get you a properly fit bra for Christmas.
• but I have a bra.
• it doesn't fit.
• nah, I get them at the market for 15 zloty (3 punds).
• yes, and they don't fit. I will order a few before you arrive, you will try them on and then we will send the rest back.
• oh no, don't do that that's expensive.
• but we will keep one and send the rest.
• no, I don't know. there are different types of bras, I will need to see which one fits.
• yes, so you will try on at home and then we will go from there. unless you prefer to go to the shop.
• oh, no, I don't have strength to go to the shops. I will do it in POland after I come back from yours.
• you haven't up till now so I'm guessing you won't.
• so?
• let's see later.

Later.
me - let's go on monday to the shops.

• but you alraedy measured me.
• yes, but you need to try the bras on.
• can't you order them online?
• it's too late to order online,
• but i'm here till 29th.
• there's christmas in between.
• so?
• so there's no time to order them, try them on and if needed reorder a diff size/ style, etc
• is the shop far?
• yes (covent garden)
• oh no, can't do that...
• you are useless, mother and you already look like grandma did...

Howies been to see his sister. Aww

I guess it was my idea and she simply doesn't want the fucking bra but the ones she wears are not fitted at all. and now I have to think of another present for her.

caroline thanks, it's not too bad but the buck stops with me, I guess.