Zombie continues her cancer journey after chemo

[IamtheZombie]

The thread in Chat has gone to thread heaven. Silly Zombie thought it wasn't due to go until tomorrow so missed her chance to ask HQ to move it here.

She slept well last night and feels reasonably well this morning.

Let the chat commence!

Damn. Bugger. Fuck.

Still doesn't really cover it :(

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Is it what you were expecting them to say? Has it changed since you last asked?

Bastard fucking cancer.

The chickens & I send you much! much love xxx

I also hope that TwatFeatures backs the fuck off and and other RL dramas just fuck off with him.

What are you and DN up to today? I hope she's at home and you can spend some time doing something nice? How are you feeling - mentally & physically?

Hi Zombie , I don't know if you were able to get any sleep last night. Hopefully you did with the help of a glass or two.will you stay with your niece tonight or return back to your own home I guess right now you can do with some company and hugs which we send you in abundance. Really feeling for you right now.

Zombie, damn, that's hard.

MadKitten, GorgeousGirl and FatTabby all send purrs.

Damn. Bugger. Fuck. Fuckety fucking fuck.

I can't think of anything to say that isn't trite. Other than I reckon you will be doing your damnedest to prove your doc wrong. That he IS wrong. By a very lengthy margin.

Unmumsnetty (((hugs))) & mucho love.

Hope you had a lovely evening

And hope things are starting to slot into place as to the way forward for you now.

Anyone who wants to give you grief will need to think very carefully.

Or they will have the full force of the Phalanx pulverising them.

Hugs and bears and pusscat cuddles sweetheart.

I have just finished making all these mince pies for ourselves and others in the family ! Luckily I broke four so we can eat them !

OOhh! I love a mince pie, I've got some spiced cream to go with them, and some stollen too, what we need is something to drink.
And by a lucky chance, I've few bottles of prosecco too.

Are you with your DN Zombie? I hope you aren't on your own. Wrap yourself up in your woolly hug, it will be like we are all there with you giving you a massive tight cuddle, almost as good as one of Zing's healing hugs.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm struggling to believe it so I can't comprehend how you feel. As they say "it ain't over till the fat lady sings!" And I ain't singing!
You do realise that every MNter wants to buy you a pint (or several). I'm afraid that's you booked up for the foreseeable!
If there is anything any of us can do in RL please don't hesitate. In the meantime we will be here shaking our pom poms!
Luff ya zomb. xx

Bliley lin that's a lot of mince pies, well done!

Ginger wine is very nice to drink with them, and Baileys is quite delicious to pour over them probably don't do both at once

I just had one with a cuppa !

That sucks. Can't really think what to say. many (((hugs)))

Positives:

There are lies, damned lies and statistics. I will not be a statistic.

The cancer will re-occur. That's a fact. But there are still plenty more treatments in the arsenal for when it does.

I have so much to live for. My son, my other family and my friends.

Negative:

After the first mastectomy and all the treatment for that cancer, I knew there was a theoretical possibility that I would get cancer in the other breast. There is little doubt that the first cancer was 'cured'. The more recent cancer was different from the first. This time it's not theoretical that the cancer will recur. It's a fact. So now I feel as though my head is on the block and I'm just waiting for the axe to fall. That's a whole different ballgame.

I know there is nothing we can say or do to makes things right for you Zombie, but we sure as hell can be here to laugh and cry with you.i can't believe it after all you went through with your recent treatments. X

Zombie

What you say is true. They only have statistics. You are you. Anecdote I know, but one of my friends is in her 6th year post a 6-9 month prognosis. It's rough at times, but she's here and glad of it.

If love and wishes could keep you well, you'd outlive the lot of us!
Xx

Serious question. For most of you I'm only "words on a screen". Why do you give me such love and support. I appreciate it, truly I do. But a lot of the time I don't understand it.

I suppose it's because, in a way, you aren't any different to me than the friends I have that live in other countries. Just because I've never seen you face to face, doesn't make you any less real to me than those friends I can't see for years due to distance.

I think there's also a depth to the friendships we make online because we tend to talk quite openly about our lives, our feelings, worries & joys in a way that we don't always in person.

Funnily enough, you look pretty much exactly how I pictured you in my mind. Now, I have a brain like a sieve, so you may have posted a pic before and that's why my image of you is so accurate. I'm not sure?!

I would give you my home address, phone number, spare room etc without hesitation. As I would with a list of MNers who I feel certain are genuine.
I'm pretty sure too, that if I needed you, you'd be there for me, as much as you were able.

If you mean specifically why you, I guess it's because I have got to know you over the years and I like you. I also really feel for you with the things you have been through and I was really, really happy and scared when you went to meet ZombieLad. I was worried about you when you went haring off in the middle of the night on your mercy dash and I could kick your twathead ex to to the moon for you.

I'm not sure if any of that answers your question.

Because you are a genuinely nice person. Your personality comes through on all your posts you have it all humour , humility, honesty and are a decent human being.
We may be people you haven't met, but we are all mates supporting another mate who needs it at the moment. We are friends who haven't yet met each other.
You laugh in the face of adversity and have great courage, you have shown that by how you just got on and coped with your awful treatment, but even then you had your humour
This is just my own perspective. I expect the others will tell you similar things. You are a lovely lady Zombie, believe it.
Member of damnbuggerfuck team x

Mummylin said it much better and with half the words.

I should have just waited until she posted, then I could have just said 'What she said ^

Chipping. We posted at exactly the same time , down to the second, how weird is that ?

I know, I saw that. It's the second time that's happened to me this week and the other time the poster is someone I know as well and we said almost exactly the same thing too! Very, very weird!

Great minds think alike :)

I noticed your posts on various threads where you made jokes and were helpful and encouraging all at the same time. It really struck a chord with me.

My daughter isn't well, and we're on a long and bumpy journey, and still don't know the cause. It means we're different as a family and don't fit in. Mumsnet has given me a lifeline at times. The guts to question the system, to information I needed to help her, countless times. So when I started to read about your story, I felt I could 'spare' some love and attention, because you seemed to be someone for whom it really means something. Then you welcome everyone and ask us all to stay, so I took you at your word!

That lovely Zombie humour! That will always stay with me. Hunour and courage is an irrisitable combination.

I've had 2 friends with cancer (in the 'had' sense.) Not close friends. I wasn't able to give much, I felt useless even when I could give. I felt sorry for myself! I want to be better than that. I don't want to waste your time, but I'm happy to give you some time if it helps. I struggle to find the right words, and then just take a risk on something and just trust. Don't want to risk hurting you...but you seem pretty good humoured and it helps that there's others here so we all take part in something bigger than ourselves. You're all so lovely. It feels good to belong.

Also helps to know you have others near you or around you and far flung relatives in contact who care.

Hi Zombie, wish your prognosis was different, although as you say, nothing is definite
Flowers now. Because a very sharp elderly customer of mine from my Post Office days once said 'I don't want flowers at my funeral. If they can't be bothered to send them to me while I can appreciate them, I don't bloody want them when I'm dead! Hope you 'get' what I'm trying to say, I'm a bit clumsy sometimes

Another viewpoint re your last post from someone who has been around for less time but lurks a lot.
You are genuine, the real deal and I instinctively know that, without having spoken to or met you. Life for you has been a slog for much of the time, you didn't get dealt a great hand but you have doggedly stuck with the game and enjoyed it as best you can, cheering on others who may go on to do better without envy or bitterness.
I can relate to that, and have done my damnedest to take the same stance as you. I cannot tell you if I have succeeded but in my eyes, YOU have. That makes you an aspirational figure for me. More importantly, you can look yourself in the face and honestly say 'I did my absolute best'.
That's why you are truly loved by everyone who posts on your threads, we do know you and you are fab

Why do you give me such love and support. I appreciate it, truly I do. But a lot of the time I don't understand it.

My grandma used to say that strangers are friends you just haven't met yet.

I would love to think that if I was going through such an ordeal then others would support me - you're right Zombie, I don't know you but, as a fellow human being I can empathise and support you.

I use to follower a fellow stranger/MNer who sadly passed away last month. For months she was in my thoughts and prayers every day. When she died I cried for her, and TBH I still think of her.

Strangers can have a massive effect on people - I admire your attitude and approach and I hope and pray you have a more positive outcome.

Long time lurker here.

Why? As someone said up thread, we have, or had, pen friends, friends who live abroad or different parts of the country. They are still friends.

I know that as a lurker I take more from this site than I give and more than once I have been given virtual hugs when I most needed them.

Zombie, I cannot imagine what you are going through. Through your posts I have come to recognise a brave, inspiring woman, even though I, with others, held our collective breaths one particular night. You followed your heart and did what you thought was right.

Why? Because we can, because we care.

You don't believe in 'words on a screen' Zombie

You've done plen-ty to help complete strangers, nevermind 'friendly faces on a screen'.

Why shouldn't you also be on the other end? Your general loveliness does come across in type, you know