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Original poster

This is a VERY sensitive subject, I know, but I am curious to know just how big a problem this is

1014 replies

VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/09/2006 20:40

How many people on here have been assaulted/raped and have either reported or not reported it?

I found out that the conviction rate rapes was just 6% . 6% of reported rapes. There are many many many more that go unreported. I want to know roughly what kind of figure we are looking at. Please change your name if need be, but do post.....

I'll start..

Me - unreported.

OP posts:
apples1 · 13/09/2006 21:41

i have changed my name for this i am a regular poster

assaulted once by a stranger yes

feel like my partner has raped me in the past but dont think it was was never forced just felt pressured and unable to say no because he wanted it so much but sometimes i think about it he doesnt do it anymore

QueenEagle · 13/09/2006 21:41

morningpaper- I think I see where you are coming frrom with feeling that you were too nice to say no. I was too polite to make a fuss and hated to seem uncool. I also didn't know how to say no to a boy who push things further than I was really happy with.

The lad who raped me walked me home through the park one evening; he started off by just kissing which I was fine with - I mean I was 14 and as he was 17 I thought everyone was dead impressed that I could get someone that much older than me - then when he started getting too carried away he wouldn't listen when I was telling him how much he was hurting me. There was nothing I could do but grit my teeth and try to block out the pain.

I also remember being sexually assaulted by a kindly old man who loved inviting the local kids into his garden for lollipops. I was aged around 10 I think.

I'm really shocked at how many people have had such awful experiences on here.

CountTo10 · 13/09/2006 21:42

See I remember my mum telling me those exact things when I was coming in as a teenager after a few drinks but it never settled in until about a month ago when I saw a 17 year old drunk and very out of control and the predatory looks she was attracting from the older men around her. I intervened in the end and got her in a cab and home as her friends were about to leave her to it.

Flamesparrow · 13/09/2006 21:42

Sobernow!!

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 13/09/2006 21:44

I think that the response from the police initially is very good but after that it lacks really badly in support and I can honestly say that after having reported it before and gone through the CPS and justice system that I dont think I would report it again.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/09/2006 21:44

Oh well done countto10....

OP posts:
giddy1 · 13/09/2006 21:45

Message deleted

Scaredofbeingrecognised · 13/09/2006 21:45

OK I have changed my name for this just incase on the off chance anyone I know wanders by.

I was sexually abused (not raped more foreplay) by a very close family member when I was about 7-8 years old, never told anyone beacuse I just never thought I would be believed. I have an excellent relationship with that family member now and trust him with my life and that of my child/children.

I was also raped whilst within a longterm relationship and never reported it along with the years of physical and mental abuse I suffered. One day I moved 200 miles away and started my life again.

morningpaper · 13/09/2006 21:46

That's terrible countto10 isn't it? I do worry that when you are all drunk you can't even trust your friends. But it's an awful message to tell young women isn't it? But I think it's true.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/09/2006 21:48

It is true MP, elsewise, there wouldnt be anywhere near as many posts on this thread......

OP posts:
CountTo10 · 13/09/2006 21:50

Its the classic thing of when you're that age you think you're invincible. We never used to leave anyone on their own, even now we all ring/text to confirm we're all at home if we've been out. I'm much more aware of that type of thing when I'm out and it does scare me to see a) the girls and the state they get in and sometimes on their own but b) the no of guys out there that are more than willing to take advantage of it. I've had strong words with a couple of dp's friends on several occasions as they don't see how 'taking advantage' could just as easily be rape.

Cassoulet · 13/09/2006 21:51

Raped, unreported
Assaulted by man who 'saved' me from above, unreported
Attempted rape many years later, unreported

Funnily enough, the first two happened when I was about 15 and I completely 'forgot' about them until about 20 years later when they suddenly appeared in my head and I thought "oh so that's why I don't like.... of course."

chestnutter · 13/09/2006 21:51

Scaredofbeingrecognised - I am curious as to how you are confident to leave your children with the person who abused you?

fattiemumma · 13/09/2006 21:52

of the 6% that are actually seen through to comvictions there is less than 2% of that 6% that are convictions of partner/inter relationship rape.

me - unreported. i have now admitted what had happened in my relationship during the court battles over him seeing the kids....it is just a taste of what a full trial would be like and i am glad i never had hoim charged as i really dont think i could cope.
also like HC has said..i am NOT A VICTIM! i didn't think people would beleive me.

imaginaryfriend · 13/09/2006 21:52

Twice.

First one I reported

Second one I didn't

Says it all really doesn't it?

starshaker · 13/09/2006 21:53

me unreported

fattiemumma · 13/09/2006 21:54

scaredofbeingrecognised - i am alarmed that you feel you have a good relationship, so much so that you would trust a person with your children despite them having sexually abused you at the age of 7.

I would be truely worried.

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 13/09/2006 21:54

I cant decided whether I was unlucky with the response and care I got from the police/CPS or whether it was a normal standard - but its not the sort of thing you can just ask people iyswim. (IE, when we broke for lunch, we were sat at the same table in the canteen etc)

morningpaper · 13/09/2006 21:55

"Its the classic thing of when you're that age you think you're invincible."

That is so true countto10. You also think that you can get yourself out of anything. And you trust everyone. Perhaps only grim experience can teach you otherwise.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/09/2006 21:55

I knew the stats went with the majority convictions being "stranger" rape.. thanks for that FM. I darent google for that kind of information.....

OP posts:
nottoldbefore · 13/09/2006 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpaceCadet · 13/09/2006 21:56

nottoldbefore-

satine · 13/09/2006 21:56

Me - never, thankfully.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/09/2006 21:56

Tamba that is shocking

How the hell was that allowed to happen??????

OP posts:
CrocodileKate · 13/09/2006 21:57

nottoldbefore you have nothing to feel ashamed about.

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