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Original poster

This is a VERY sensitive subject, I know, but I am curious to know just how big a problem this is

1014 replies

VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/09/2006 20:40

How many people on here have been assaulted/raped and have either reported or not reported it?

I found out that the conviction rate rapes was just 6% . 6% of reported rapes. There are many many many more that go unreported. I want to know roughly what kind of figure we are looking at. Please change your name if need be, but do post.....

I'll start..

Me - unreported.

OP posts:
nannyk · 18/09/2006 18:13

My mum is great at the martyr act, she always makes herself the victim when my sister's abuse is ever talked about. That is why i am so reluctant to tell her about my abuse - it would still be her that was the victim and that would infuriate me even more than it already does!!!

I wonder if my particular control freak/selflessness is due to the abuse in that I was willing if not seeking the abuse to happen to me in order that my sister did not suffer it. Some nights I would lie there willing him to come to me first and I would do anything to make sure he didn't go to her. When she spoke up and no longer went to our grandparents for weekends, but I did, I was relieved that she wasn't there, even though it meant I was even more abused. I don't know if that makes sense but I felt that this was a wholely satisfactory outcome. He really messed my head up beyond belief. And I had always been brought up to look after my sister and I felt like taking the focus totally onto myself was the highest form of looking after her. And I never told, as I was looking after our family, and as the abuse continued I forgave my sister for telling as the status quo was re-established and life was back to "normal". It's an absolute bloody wonder I am not pacing a padded cell right now. And I don't mean that as a joke .

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:17

I think, it could be at either end of the scale though, with regard to putting others before you etc.

I do believe that there is a strong case for abusers/offenders seeking out types who are like this, because they know they have a better chance of success, rather than the abuse making us like it. DYKWIM? Im not sure I do, mind you

OP posts:
bubble99 · 18/09/2006 19:17

Was there something you wanted to say, VVV?

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:18

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have NO idea what happened there...sorry....

OP posts:
bubble99 · 18/09/2006 19:18

Well done to you for starting this thread, BTW. It has obviously helped a lot of people to get stuff said.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:19

pmsl bubble! I dont know what happened - new keyboard, maybe return key stuck???

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/09/2006 19:20

Thank you

I certainly cant take the credit for it though - its everyone else being brave enough to share that has made it what it is.

OP posts:
nannyk · 18/09/2006 19:26

Maybe you are right VVV. I find that even now I do my utmost to make sure other people are happy, even if I end up sacrificing something myself. Would this have been an obvious character trait at 5 years old though? I don't know. I was in some respects the "perfect" target for abuse in that I NEVER once complained or cried, I just let him get on with it. It makes me sick to my stomach, and gives me chills thinking about just how easy I made it, and just how compliant I was, right up to being a pre-teen.

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