Welcome to the TWATS 2014. Please now list your categories and nominations.

[MalcolmTuckersMistress]

Well this is going to cause chaos and probably have no real conclusion to it but I did think that it at least deserves it's own thread.

1.) Please note, this thread is NOT for wenching in. I repeat NO WENCHING. Wenching must continues in the tavern threads only.

2.) NO DISCUSSION OF SANTIAGO AND FOOTBALL. You may nominate him but we don't need 36 pages of "OMGZ I LOVES HIM n his futbowl LOL LOL LOL!!!!111"

3.) Remember when nominating and making up categories that The Cardinal is sexier than any of the other male cast members.

Obs she is an accidental poster who didn't mean to be a wench but I'm trying to harpoon the old girl so we can keep her for ourselves! Wench hunting! It's the latest sport don't you know?

Oh I meant to out that in t'other thread!

Welcome Fram. Grab a chair and the Musketeer of your choice as long as it's Dog. All the others have prior claims but you are most welcome to fill in the 72 million forms it needs to get you in the Aramis rota or you can just bundle in and fight it out with those of us in the Athos queue. The Porthos wenches are very pleasant and usually share, there is so much of him to go about.

Hahahahahaha! Budge up Team Aramis. Incoming.

Malcolm, if you don't stop the pity fucking act lub, I swear, I'm going to set up a fake account as a Cardinal worshipping wench. [breaking heart] [bleeding heart]

fraaaaaaaaaaaaam!!!!!!!!!!

I knew I liked you. As soon as I saw you, I thought, there's a person of fine taste and discernment.

malc, fuck the fuck off, kay? The last like 10 delukers have all been bloody athos, except trev.

Haha at Malcolm WENCHING after bawling out the rest if us

fram im curious, where did you see a star wars reference in this thread? (I like star wars).

Ignore malc shes unhinged.

I'm safe with my Aramis Thursdays, but what are the rest of you going to do with your two days a week?

You mean I'm very nice and share I think mrsb eh?

Look at how fucking desperate we are with newbie. Is this how sick of each other we are now? Like some old married couple, so bored with each other, we are practically dragging them in

Fram - welcome. Please don't be scared. This isn't the thread for all the 'special' people on MN.

ignore her Fram and welcome to your new surprise place on. Mumsnet!

I think it was erm..... HANNAH HORVATH what made the Star Wars reference.

Ffs! RTFT Madame.

I brought the gift of Fram to save us from ourselves. You can thank me all the time later.

Hmmm. Now what shall I do with this nice big plastic bag?

Ickle horsie...come to madame...

Sorry hannah. I thought fram meant that the star wars ref was in the clearly totally bloody confusing and non musketeers specific thread title that malc wrote.

Ohhhhhhh! Back to the nominations.

New wench category: best fight scene.

Nominations:

1. death by corden
2. flaming wild pig riding

Sorry flops cant do cut and paste thing on phone, will do it later

Bad madame we never use burnt out pubey plastic bags on innocent animals. NEVER.

Now get the fuck back to the tavern (no e)

arp parp parp! Parp parp parp! parp parp!

Tavern Wenches Award Trophies!

Best use of a Random Prop

Porthos duel with fork
Mother S cobs brandy bombs
Aramis drops dummy baby
Cardinal strokes knee bone

Twichiest Vag Moment

Best Seductive Stare

see lurkio's vid

Best Wench Quote

"Save a pancake, toss a Musketeer" malc
" Santi is now banging away at anything that comes near him. He wants it. He wants it badly. madame

Best move with a weapon

Athos morning stretch with sword
Milady with dagger at Athos' throat
Mother S reloading pistol like a gangsta

Sexiest use of Clothing

Cardinal with swishy cloak
Athos grey billowy shirt
Aramis belt unbuckling
Dog with a bone bandage

Best Tits in Corset

Connie
Milady
Ninononon
Queenie

Worst Guest Star

Best Bromance

Aramis/Porthos 'The Injury'
Athos/Dog 'You're more like me...'

Best Shouty Scene

Athos - "YOU SLEPT WITH THE QUEEN"

Best fight scene

1. death by corden
2. flaming wild pig riding

You're welcome

Cheers norah!

arp parp parp! Parp parp parp! parp parp!

Tavern Wenches Award Trophies!

Best use of a Random Prop

Porthos duel with fork
Mother S cobs brandy bombs
Aramis drops dummy baby
Cardinal strokes knee bone
Books at ninions

Twichiest Vag Moment
It would be our duty and incidently our pleasure. TW
Get on your knees before he changes his mind. Mrs Beee and Apricot
Elk - - "No, no, lets keep it suicidal" "shout if you need me" - The bit where he looks up from under his hat whilst strutting up the street in ep1, alley snog scene, as milady takes his pendant, he looks down and then does an extra tilt of his head
Twit - The whipping noise too. Dog and Connie against the cupboard, Richeliue with his hand on Milady's throat when for a split send he thinks about snogging her, you can see his LUSTY EYES. Porthos sliding up next to Alice

Best Seductive Stare

see lurkio's vid

Best Wench Quote

"Save a pancake, toss a Musketeer" malc
" Santi is now banging away at anything that comes near him. He wants it. He wants it badly. madame

Best move with a weapon

Athos morning stretch with sword
Milady with dagger at Athos' throat
Mother S reloading pistol like a gangsta

Sexiest use of Clothing

Cardinal with swishy cloak
Athos grey billowy shirt
Aramis belt unbuckling
Dog with a bone bandage

Best Tits in Corset

Connie
Milady
Ninononon
Queenie

Worst Guest Star
Vinnie

Best Bromance

Aramis/Porthos 'The Injury'
Athos/Dog 'You're more like me...'
Treville taking part in the duel with Vinnie to spare his boys.

Best Shouty Scene

Athos - "YOU SLEPT WITH THE QUEEN"
Don't you care about Porthos at all?" as shouted by Aramis at Athos in Ep 3 for best shoutiest moment?

Best fight scene

1. death by corden
2. flaming wild pig riding

Fram! Welcome. Well done on Aramis by that's as close as you're getting

Nowench accidentally gets within dribbling distance of the Rota.

I did think of a category but in a valiant attempt to catch up with this and that thread it's now dropped out of my PVA and glitter filled brain.

It will come back to me

Best King Strop
-Being King is So Boring
-Did she just refuse my company ?
-The King does not make mistakes, you forget yourself Cardinal
I went to Gascony once, it was full of sheep and hedges!

Best Cardinal Facial Expression
-Oh fuck Queenie heard me admit my dastardly plans
-Flirty head bob when asking Milady whose side she was on after the fight in The Challenge
-Effort is not good enough lusty eyes

TW, just to confuse matters even further it wasn't "Get on your knees before he changes his mind", that was Athos to Dog in The Challenge, which is a worthy contender, but not so much as "On your knees" (I don't think he said "get") Athos to Milady in Musketeers Don't Die Easily which MrsB and I were nominating.

Good job in trying to keep this lot in order, I think it's a losing battle, but great fun.

thanks apricot
revised list
Tavern Wenches Award Trophies!

Best use of a Random Prop

Porthos duel with fork
Mother S cobs brandy bombs
Aramis drops dummy baby
Cardinal strokes knee bone
Books at ninions

Twichiest Vag Moment
It would be our duty and incidently our pleasure. TW
on your knees Mrs Beee and Apricot
Elk - - "No, no, lets keep it suicidal" "shout if you need me" - The bit where he looks up from under his hat whilst strutting up the street in ep1, alley snog scene, as milady takes his pendant, he looks down and then does an extra tilt of his head
Twit - The whipping noise too. Dog and Connie against the cupboard, Richeliue with his hand on Milady's throat when for a split send he thinks about snogging her, you can see his LUSTY EYES. Porthos sliding up next to Alice

Best Seductive Stare

see lurkio's vid

Best Wench Quote

"Save a pancake, toss a Musketeer" malc
" Santi is now banging away at anything that comes near him. He wants it. He wants it badly. madame

Best move with a weapon

Athos morning stretch with sword
Milady with dagger at Athos' throat
Mother S reloading pistol like a gangsta

Sexiest use of Clothing

Cardinal with swishy cloak
Athos grey billowy shirt
Aramis belt unbuckling
Dog with a bone bandage

Best Tits in Corset

Connie
Milady
Ninononon
Queenie

Worst Guest Star
Vinnie

Best Bromance

Aramis/Porthos 'The Injury'
Athos/Dog 'You're more like me...'
Treville taking part in the duel with Vinnie to spare his boys.

Best Shouty Scene

Athos - "YOU SLEPT WITH THE QUEEN"
Don't you care about Porthos at all?" as shouted by Aramis at Athos in Ep 3 for best shoutiest moment?

Best fight scene

1. death by corden
2. flaming wild pig riding

Can Ninon and Queenie have a spot on bosoms? Come on really, it's obviously only between Connie and Milady.