Do you think you're fat?

[ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight]

I do. And I'm wrong. I know rationally I am not fat. I am 5'5 weigh 9st7ish, dress size 8-10, body fat 18-22%, you can see my ribs from behind and my abs in front....so why oh why do I constantly feel crap about myself?

I do eat more crap than I probably should do (chocolate 5 times a week ) and I do carry weight up top (32FF boobs)...but I am not fat. So why do I feel like I am? Constantly worry that I am. People I don't know well (new work colleagues, random people at parties) make offhand comments 'healthy breakfast again eh?' this morning as I ate a croissant and fruit at my desk and it makes me feel awful.

Are other people like this? Why????

Sorry to anyone this offends...I feel for people with weight issues, I really do, but been thinking about this today (sparked by comment this morning) and wondering if I am the only one?

Mrsoakensheild You must have a tiny frame!

I am 10 stone and 5 foot nothing, I range from size 6-10, but I have an hourglass "athletic" build (broad shoulders and build muscle very easily). I'm a bit of a powerhouse which is probably why I weigh so much at the moment. I've spent a lot of time this year building core strength and my arms are muscly.

I feel fat sometimes. I'm heavier than I've ever been before. I used to subsist on next to nothing, but I eat healthily 80% of the time now. I know it must be down to muscle mainly because I fit in a lot of my old clothes still. I just don't think I'll ever starve myself to be 6.5 stone again.

Don't the skinny minnies have trouble with clothes shopping? I certainly do and I'm not all that skinny anymore, more muscly. I used to be able to wear age 7 tshirts and age 11 trousers. Never again!

It always amazes me how much height, weight and clothes size don't correlate.

I am not fat.

I am fat-ER than I was when I was 22, but most people are.

Balloon slayer, am slightly older than you. Cautionary tale- we had both mum and MIL for Xmas this year. My MIL has always been a natural size 10 whereas my mum who has had to take regular exercise stay not too fat, like me. MIL is now 80 and has zero muscle tone, unable to walk between furniture without zimmer frame, can't pick pen off floor, etc. my mum is still able to do 5 mile walks across rough country.

I am doing more exercise than I ever have before (hate exercise) not to stay slim and get even more wrinkly and haggard, but so I don't end up a crumbly oldie.

OP, I know exactly how you feel.

I am 5ft 7 and weight 9st7 and although I know I look ok, I still feel big!! Many years ago I lost 4 stone at SW and the leader told us that even when we lose our weight we will still think and feel like fat people. Not actually very PC I am sure but I so know what she is saying. How I see myself and how other people see me are two very different images.

I gym every day, sometimes twice and so I like my upper body but not so keep on my legs!

I so wish I could find self acceptance and feel envious of those that have it, it seems to elude me!

I'm fat, I always have been.

I'm not really sure what I look like though. I know some people may find me rude, but I'm always asking my husband, "Am I as fat as her?" or something similar. I realize that I have no idea what my body actually looks like, it's just how I perceive I look. I am huge though.

Yes beastofburden I can really see that happening to me too. I have always been what people call "thin" but I have never been fit - never needed to exercise to lose weight you see!

I knew it would bite me on the arse one day. I will heed your warning and keep trying to exercise.

Saw the title and assumed thread was about the new Jacques Peretti , 4 part serious, on "men who made us thin". Great programme.

I'm 5ft 7 and weigh 9.7 stone. But im skinny-fat. To look at with clothes on, i'm not fat, but in a bikini, i'm flabby, not at all toned. So that makes me feel fat.

Yes. Because I am. I don't look like I am the size I wear, but I am big, and my BMI puts me into the morbidly obese category. My top half is an 18-20 (although boobs can fit into a 16), my bottom half 22. I do have an 'odd' shape though - I have a big J-Lo bum and big thighs which stick out at the front, although they're not all that wide. And my belly is huge since I had DS 7 years ago. If it weren't for my belly, I'd be an 18-20 all over I think.
I care very much. But I can't get into the 'zone' for losing weight. Been dieting on and off since I was 14 (and a size 10/12). I'm 34 this month and bigger than ever.
I AM large-framed (although short, sob sob), so will never, ever be smaller than a 12 now. On top of my large frame is a LOT of fat though, so I'm not using my frame as an excuse for my size, coz it ain't!

I think we've lost all grip on what a normal weight looks like. On the one hand there are so many people that are obese or overweight that it is normalised, on the other the people we are supposed to look up to (s'lebs etc) are very thin.

Not sure what I weigh, but I'm a size 8. Yet I feel bigger now than I did when I was a 12; I think because I am more aware of size now.

OP, you're not fat. If you feel fat now, you will still feel fat if you lost a stone, or two stone. The problem is how you feel about your body and how that links with your happiness.

I've been size 6 and size 12 and at both end of the scale I felt fat. This was in my younger years. I know now my self-esteem was linked very closely to my appearance and the judgement of others. Going in this direction though means happiness is never to be found.

These questions may help you reflect on some relevant things: Why does the thought of being fat make you unhappy? How do you define yourself? How do other people see you - what do you think they would say about you? (I'm not looking for answers to these question on here - just trying to suggest some things you could think about).

Oblomov and cherrypi wasn't it interesting about the weight charts and how an insurance company came up with them. Nobody has questioned them since.

I wonder if he will find the solution? It seems there is too much money to be made for the diet industry for that to happen though.

I am size 6, petite and small boned. I am not fat now, but if I was 5 pounds heavier, I would be, as every pound shows. I can tell from photos.

I am 5foot 6. weigh 60kg. This is my ideal weight, it is what i default to when i am healthy and happy throughout my life. I put on 20kg in pregnancy so have seen myself at EVERY size since giving birth to current. I exercise, i look toned, i can wear fitted clothes, shop from rails of top designers who never do more than a couple of sizes (bastards), others call me slim, comment on my healthy eating etc. but i ALWAYS feel bigger than i am. I look at girls who are taller and wish for height, i see skinny jeans tucked into ankle boots and wish for rail thin legs, i see bikinis and wish for washboard abs... i am never satisfied despite knowing i havent got a bad deal. WTF is up with that?! I dont even think i know what normal looks like anymore- magazines bombard us with skinny (unachievably thin) people so often my perception of normality has got totally skewed.

Someone asked the OP why she doesnt want to think of herself as fat. For me my mother was and is very overweight. She took so much pleasure shopping with me for me, because of what I could choose from... i never want to feel excluded like that from choice. Nor do i want to be unhealthy, which essentially overweightedness indicates to me.

What i do need is to sort my sodding head out and make sure my DD is sheltered from weight pressures throughout her life. that is what scares me the most. i hate the idea she will be exposed to so much crazy imagery.

I am overweight as my BMI indicates as do any photos I see of myself. However when I look in the mirror it doesn't bother me. However I do need to diet for health reasons. I was really skinny as a child and I still view myself as skinny despite clearly being a size 14. I think if I was more bothered I would try harder to lose weight.

I'm off to blow up some recent photos of myself and stick them on my fridge. This is the 1st year I'm thinking perhaps a bikini is not a good idea.

The real problem is the attitude of the media that portrays perfectly healthy women as 'fat'. I don't routinely read magazines or tabloid newspapers, but when I do there seems to be a constant commentary on the weight of female celebs etc and insinuations of anyone of a healthy weight or above being 'fat'.

I think its my general ignorance of the media and popular culture that makes me reasonably comfortable at a curvy size 12 5'7" where I would weigh 10-11 stone and have a BMI of 22/23 ish. But if I was subject to media scrutiny, they would put me in the fat category.

Any less than 10 stone and I would be quite thin, but I would still have boobs and a bit of a belly, but as I'm currenty about 11.5 stones and at the top of the healthy BMI range, I am trying to lose a few pounds mainly because I want to fit into all the clothes I have that are currently too small and I hate shopping.

Women are not supposed to have flat stomachs. That little bit of fat below the waistline is there to protect our reproductive organs so it saddens me that it seems unacceptable for this to exist - I remember the nude photos of a lovely healthy size 12 model a few years ago that focussed on her 'enormous' belly that was nothing of the sort.

Yes, I feel fat and yet I know I'm not. I'm 5'4" and 8st 5lbs. I wear a size 8-10. When I see pictures of myself I think 'Oh, is that what I look like? I'm actually quite thin', but generally I feel pear-shaped and fat.

I'm un-toned and unfit, so like lots of posters above I think this is the real issue. Since having DS2 I've done barely any exercise. Before I had DS1 I was a real gym bunny (but I was fatter and heavier then - about 9st 3lbs). I think when I'm able to fit in working out again (hopefully this autumn when our house build is over), I'll start to feel better about myself. Hope so.

I used to be fat. I lost 5 stone and now have a BMI of 22 and am a size 10. I still feel fat.

I used to think that losing the weight would be the hard part. But actually changing the way that you think about yourself is far, far harder.

Exactly the same as MrsMikePeasbody here. The constant self-beating is annoying... and impossible to stop it seems :s.
Though, looking back, I do always think that I was so much thinner and prettier back then when... What I thought at the time though was pretty much the same as right now - 'I'm really-really fat'.
Come to think of it, if it gets any worse (can it get worse than size 18 on a small frame?!) I'll probably think that I look alright today. It's a vicious circle really.

I know there are a billion ways of losing weight, but 5 stone is impressive, JemimaMuddledUp ! Congratulations!
How did you manage it, and how long did it take?

I like your post Jemima

Yes. And I am. I have no waist, never have had - but I am now an apple shape and at 5'6" weigh 12st and am just about a size 14. The weight and size aren't the issue - it's the waist measurement that tells me I'm fat, and the apple shape that tells me I'm in danger of having health problems if I don't bloody well do something about it.

However - if I only lose 2st, I'll still think I'm fat. I was happiest at 8.5 stone, which is a bit on the skinny side, tbh and if I went back to that now I'd probably look a bit haggard. Still, chances of me losing 3.5st are quite low - I'll start with getting 1 off, then another and see how I go.

I have the opposite problem. Having been told most of my life that I had a lovely body/pretty face, I fail to take in that I have become an aged heifer.
When I look in the mirror I see the sagging jowls, frown lines and wobbly mirror and sort of pout and tilt till I don't.
Photo's are the worse and I literally don't have one I like in recent years because I look much worse than I think I do in my head. The photo's sort of motivate me for a while and then I just think I'm "unphotogenic" and go back to the denial!!

I know how you feel - I want to lose a stone to get to size 10 but if I mention I'm on sw to people in rl they don't get why as I'm not "fat" but I feel it and am verging on being a size 14. I like my clothes and can't afford a new wardrobe so cheaper option is to diet but I have to do it in secret as friends then get funny (usually because theyare bigger than me so by me saying I need to lose weight I alienate myself).

Currently I'm 10st 1lbs but at my happiest I was 9st 2lbs after dd1 but then I had twins. I think whatever my weight I will have a twin skin tummy so m&s support swim suss from now on!