****Mumsnetter NEEDS a break from her DH, can anyone help??****

[monkeytrousers]

Tamba and her two little ones needs some serious R&R asap. \link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=7&threadid=181443\see here}

Lets see what mumsnet can do!

(Hope you don't mind Tamba, I though this might help with the details in thread title)

Keep bumping please too

Do you have a car Tamba?

Oh my god Tamba, I'm stunned. I dont' know what to say. We need to get you away from there though.

Please help mumsnetters - this is even more serious now.

Big {{{{{{}}}}} Tamba sweetheart. x

is very brave of you honey - well done. i got a bit arsey as i knew what was going on and knew that thread was yours too - sorry
you'll sort it out i'm sure

Tamba, if we can't pull this off is there any way you can get the locks changed tomorrow - or just drop his bag off at his mothers without saying a word.

You said on the other thread you have a friend you told. Is there anyway she can come round to give you moral support?

..I'd tell your mother the rest of it now. Really, you need people on your side. He's upping the ante (if that were possible) by doing this, making your problems public. Well he's opened the bottle, let the bloody genie out.

((((((((((((Tamba)))))))))))

Bumping this for you, my house os tidgy and barely fits us in or i would help x

Im not that close but you could always stay at mine,im in houghton regis xxx

Do you ever wish you could turn back time? I desperatly wish I hadnt posted that link.

Friend is on holiday

I will never tell anyone else in RL what I said on that thread. I seriously dont have the right sort of family for revelations like that.

I thought about going to the housing office monday and seeing what advice I could get etc... Mil is our local counseller and deals with things like that though

then just remember some of the advice you were given - and that i knew who i was giving it to.

Oh my god honey, I can't believe you are having to cope with so much. I hadn't posted on the stripclub thread but now seeing that it was you on the other thread I really think it's more about the whole marriage and not just this stag do stuff

I am no where near birmingham but am in Surrey and you are more than welcome to come here

Please keep us posted with how you are xxxx

Tamba, whatever happens you and the kids should try to maintain residence in the family home. I know this will be tearing you apart honey and I can only advise you from a clear head, though I know such advice is difficult to follow when your in the middle of an emotional catastrophe.

Think of one qusetion only - what do you want - if you think you can have it with DH then try, if you don't then..well...we'll see..

Did you ask him about going to the doctor BTW?

Okay, so you don';t have the family to do this with, but you do have us to lean on. We are real people, if not nearby. x

To be honest I really do agree with MT, To leave and let him come home would benefit him and not you. Do you own the house together? It must be awful with his family being so nasty and I can completely understand why you would want to get away. But if you could possible be strong enough to pack a bag for him and stay at home it would be better for you in the long run.

I wish I was nearer hun and I wouldn't hesitate to come stay and give you some support.

Ebbie and Magnolia - thank you, you are both lovely but I assure you that me and 2 hot grumpy children arnt much fun, and I dont want to inflict us on you :)

We jointly own the house.

I am not in any way scared of dh. I am however, nervous of my mil

I know, when I send him to his moms tommorrow, the phone will start ringing constantly and they will be round the house. They are not in any way violent, but you cant get a word in edgeways, she is pushy and manipulative and I dont want to have to deal with it.

I have asked for the link to be pulled as Im quite upset with myself for revealing it was me.

Ive still had no contact from dh. Have no idea what time hes due back tommorrow.

I am feeling alot better now. I was just dreading tommorrow and my first instinct was to run away. But i cant do that so will have to face it out.

Am sending dh to his moms (even though she is evil!) and hes not coming back until he starts counselling sessions or something. Thats if i decide i want him back.

Blimey Tamba, I had no idea that it was you. :( Hope you find the strength to do what is best for you and the kids.

Does anyone know legally where i stand on the house? It is in joint names. Do I have the right to refuse him entry?

Are you married?

I am so pleased that you are going to stay and send him to his mums. Get the lock change if it makes you feel better or get the phone number changed. Ignore Mil, you are a very strong woman for delaing with any shit they have chucked at you and don't you forget it!

i'd take the phone off the hook and put the morticelock on so no one can get in.

dont talk to them - his family have nothing NOTHING to do with you marital relationship and should keep out.

can you not get a caravan somewwhere have a weeks holiday? or are you skint?

butlins?

We are married

Whats a mortice lock? we have a double glazed front door is there one on there?

Looked at butlins, haven etc but they are all to expensive and we are broke!

leave the key in the door then - so he cant unlock it - or his family can't unlock it.

start driving lessons asap.

Where do you live Tamba? When I left exp I ran away to Haven at Hastings for a week, while I decided what to do next. If he will leave though, it will make your life so much easier.

Im in Birmingham.

I looked at Haven but its to expensive.

Would love to start driving lessons.

I am trying to think what I will have to do if the 'time apart' becomes perminent

I need to do something about the house (paying the mortgage!), money cause although its a joint bank account i dont work so will have none! Was wondering whether i should ask about council housing at the neighbourhood office or is that no good cause I already have a house? I have such alot to learn!