Struggling to be happy for the peer-group couple who announce the Stealth Third Child

[suzywong]

Anyone else?

I mean it's all well and good if you have always announce your intention to have more than two, but then to sneak another one in after a few years of being compadres in the quadrilateral 2+2 family/friends strata. But to sneak another child in, right under my nose!

I want to be happy for them, very happy - it's a wonderful thing of joy BUT why do I feel a slightly abrasive knot of jealoulsy in my stomach? Is this other couple blatantly announcing their superior dedication to children and chid rearing and happy families? Am I not dedicated enough? Was my confinement not sufficiently radiant, was my Maternal prowess not gracious and mild enough to make me and dh want another offspring?

Anyone else find it initially hard to be happy for contemporaries, I mean same age or older and pretty similar people, who suddenly announce a third child in the offing? I don't having this knot and I am jealous of their dedication and decisiveness.

Is this a syndrome or am I a bitter and twisted old hag?

I'll do it if the woman and MI do it, too.

:o

? you'll do what if we do what? being thick here

Sorkycake I can sympathize with you on that one. I had one of each and everyone, including my own mum, asked why we were having another when we had the perfect family.
People have some funny ideas !!

A girl in a pet shop told me that she could understand why i was having a third as i had 2 girls and must want a boy whereas she has one of each so has nothing left to get She also told me how clever epople thought she was! Righty ho then tara!!

how can she be clever when it is the male that determines the gender?!?!?

she's about as clever as a box of rocks.

Quite

another blinder from expat

i agree that it's up to each family to decide for themsleves, and really not jealous of people with more, but i do get fed up with people who think you need a certain number before you count as a real parent. i've done staying at home with a kid, i now do 45+ hrs a week, and most of the childcare & housework (dh away a lot), and, honestly the days at home are fun light entertainment most of the time. i know having more kids is more work than one, but i do resent the implication that i'm not a real mum, and can;t give advice (and i get this from some people in rl) because i only have 1 kid & go to work. i've been told it's easy for me!!

"and what if had another daughter and not a son this time.."

!!!!!and what if you did?What is sooo wrong with your daughters that another one would be so awful?

my mum has had 7 children and even at 62 is always saying how she envies her golf mates who only had 2 children...they all look great are not worn down by the worries of lots of children even when in their 30s...my mum has to pick up the pieces of failed marriages, childcare, etc...however i have just had my 4th and am loving it....didnt really pick up the jealousy thing from others when pg...but found that others felt that they had to justify (unprompted)why they only had 2

Have been lurking on this thread and now have strong inkling that a close ('your mad for wanting another I only ever want two') friend is up the duff so can now resurect this!

DH is 99.999999recuring% sure that 2 is enough. I don't know! I think sometimes it's the competative mum in me but also I love being pg love holding newbornslove the exciting toddler but (currently not keen on the 3 year old stage!), really love maternity leave!. Like everyone else though can think of more reasons not to than to do it!

Well spellings gone to pot so better have another glass of wine.......