The things kids say

[Ailsa]

Having recently had my eyes tested and bought some new glasses, the first time I wore them dd (age 7 yrs) announced that they are ugly and they make my face look ugly!

A week or so later, I was sat on the sofa helping ds (age 4 yrs) get ready for school, the conversation as as follows,

ds: "Mummy, your glasses make you look ugly"
me: "Oh!"
ds: "Only joking!"

Anyone else got any gems?

Watching the Saturday Show, Atomic Kitten were on and my older two were disagreeing about whether they were any good. Ds2 (aged 3 1/2) says: "I like that lady...I want her to be my mummy" Luckily I saw the funny side, the others rushed to comfort me and were quite embarrassed for him, they spent the day telling him she'd be no good as a Mum as she was 'too young' (thanks) and would spend all her time doing her hair and wiggling her bum.

My dd1 saw a picture of Clarissa and the Countryman in the TV pages and announced 'Look - it's Granny and Grandad'. My poor mother is devastated!

I THINK DS (4.5) must have been learning about Easter and the resurrection at school. Last night in the middle of dinner he suddenly got all excited and anounced that Jesus was under the floor. When I pushed him a bit more he told me that Jesus died and went all hard and then went under everyones floor. I think maybe he was told Jesus was all around us!

Katherine
Babster, hopefully she was referring to your MIL and FIL...?
Ds announced last week he wanted to live in a patched house with a furry roof, after seeing SE London's only thatched building...

Had a party for DS (8) at the weekend. We had a pinata (pronounced pinyarta) - one of those things you hang from a tree and then bash until the sweets fall out.

One of the boys said "when are we going to do the Bin Laden?"

Have to revive this thread after some wonderful child logic from 4yo ds. I told him he had to have a bath and he wanted to know why (of course, despite the fact he has one almost every night!). I said it was because it had been warm and he had had a big day.

He thought about it for a moment and then asked, "So if I have a little day, I don't need a bath?"

DD complained about the leg coming off her doll, I said Daddy would fix it and she complained

"what about my beaver!?" Crikey I thought where has she got that from?

Anyway she was actually talking about her Diva Star doll with the broken leg!

Two here for your amusement-

DS1 was in the garden with DH and because DH was being 'silly' and saying silly jokes (DS1's words) he told DH that he was doing to cover him in glue and stick him to the floor!
I wondered if he could include DH's mouth in that equation as he really does say some silly stuff!

Secondly, We were watching the TV at lunch time and there was a programme about weddings on. DS1 (again) asked if he could marry me, I tried to explain that he would marry a girl he chooses oneday but it's abit confusing for a (newly) 4 year old to grasp, anyway after giving as good an explanation as I could muster I said 'would you like to marry me then?' His reply made my heart melt ' Yes Mummy because I really love you'

It actually bought a tear to my eye, Bless Him

Ds1 came home from nursery this morning talking about 'squaretangles, what have four sides'

4 year old son cuddling my ample girth:
"Mum, I like your wobbly bottom. It's lovely. Just lovely, and your beautiful"

We'd been avoiding telling the children I'm pregnant until I'd had a scan & checked everthing was OK, but ds said to me yesterday 'Mummy, your tummy's awfully fat. Is there a baby in there?' so I had to confess

DH and I went to vote in the local elections last week. I went in first, got back in the car and DH went in,DS said,"Where have you been Mummy", I replied that, I'd been to vote,Ah Yes, said DS,"Daddy told me it was your decoratic right". I asume he ment "democratic".
However, apparently Daddy had also said, that we used to have an Empire, then they let Women vote, and it's all been down hill ever since !!!!!!

What a lovely thread, can't wait till dd (8 months) starts talking!

Ds' latest one that gets me tearful is "mummy, it's best to have a friend like you". As for making me laugh - my mum was over helping with some diy (yes, she is brilliant) and ds was helping pass her tools. She turned to him and said "Bob the Builder doesn't have one like this does he?" To which ds replied, "No Granny, that's because Bob's just a toy".

my dd asked her father the other day 'Dad when i am in reception class and i am 16 will i be a grown up and drink booze'!

I woke up to find ds in bed with me and no dp, asked ds where his Daddy was to be told he'd gone because I pissed him off. Needless to say dp has had a lecture on his language.

Love that one Willow.

Willow2, DS1 has that "just a toy" bit sussed too. I told him something along the lines of "Buzz Lightyear always eats his vegetables" to which he replied, with a sigh "No he doesn't mummy, he's just a toy."

This is probably one of those urban legends - friend of a friend etc. But...a friend of a friend's little boy was heard to exclaim, "look!! look!! it's King Cat!!!" when the cat walked through the flap. Mum then asked sprog why the cat was King. Sprog replied "well daddy always calls him the king cat....."

DD: "Go away Mummy. Go away Daddy"
ME: "DD- don't say that. If Mummy and Daddy go away who will cuddle you?, who will make your food? Who will play with you then?"
DD: "Boris"

Also from a bloke in my team his dd of 5yrs said
"Daddy, you have to understand, that I do love you, but I love Mummy better"

Ds (4) said the other day, "I had a scary dream last night: I was in it!"

This morning dd (3)informed me that if you don't clean your teeth they go yellow and will fall out - then you get rabbit teeth!?

My ds (2) opened the fridge the other day, and said 'Mummy's juice' pointing at the three bottles of Beck's.