The things kids say

[Ailsa]

Having recently had my eyes tested and bought some new glasses, the first time I wore them dd (age 7 yrs) announced that they are ugly and they make my face look ugly!

A week or so later, I was sat on the sofa helping ds (age 4 yrs) get ready for school, the conversation as as follows,

ds: "Mummy, your glasses make you look ugly"
me: "Oh!"
ds: "Only joking!"

Anyone else got any gems?

lol scatterbrain

Fantastic Scatterbrain!

FOFL!!!

Note to self: must watch what I am saying from now on. DD will soon be old enough to repeat me (she's only 13 months at mo). Must be extra careful when out in car too!

"Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I, E-I-O, and on that farm he had a donkey, E-I, E-I-O, with a donk donk here, a donk donk there, here a donk......"

"Mummy I want a drink, Mummy I need an apple, Mummy I want......."
"Darling the M on my back is for Mummy not maid OK !!??"
"OK Mummy but you have spots on your bum......!!"

Me, 30, (cod philosopher): Did you know that only people laugh when they are happy and cry when they are sad and other animals don't?

Son, 4, (real philosopher): Well, actually Mummy, I saw a pigeon laughing when I went to Syon Park but maybe he was a human inside.

Scummy and others! Ds told me yesterday that a family friend was not in fact a 10 year old girl but a packet of prawn crisps in disguise. He also told me that he was a reed warbler, and not a little boy. I don't know what our boys are on but I wish we could have some too. It would brighten up my life no end.

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DD and DH were doing a some painting. During this time DH had been telling DD to be careful not to knock the jar of water over. Afterwards, when DH was clearing up, he managed to knock the jar over. DD noticed this and said

"Daddy, you spilt the water. You're so naughty. Now go straight to your cot - at nanny's !"

i was cooking lunch and my dd (3)came in the kitchen and said "dont burn your boobs mummy" she watched mrs doubtfire a few months ago so i think thats where she got it from

My little boy (5) was caught participating in some naughtiness of other recently. Can't remember quite what it was - oh yes, he dismantled part of his bedroom furniture. So he was chastised, and told not to do it again, and then I went downstairs.

Moments later he followed me into the kitchen and said, "Mummy, I am SO sorry. I'm even sorrier than you want me to be."

I thought it was cute.

My daughters both have quite broad Yorkshire accents.............

DD2 came up to me while we were watching dd1 at ballet and said "Draw me a sheep". I was thrilled becuase we had just read The Little Prince and she must have been following the humour. Anyway, I drew my best sheep. She looked at it in disgust and said "No, a sheep". I said, "Mummy's not very good at drawing but there is the woolly body, there is the tail, there are the legs and there is the head".

She looked at me like I was a very backward specimen.

"No", she said " A sheep like a circle sheep or a triangle sheep". (Just think shape with a reet broad accent from Emmerdale).

I was crushed.

LOL, Gumdrop! We live in Lancs and my DD2 (18) has a v broad accent now, but when she was small she didn't, but knew what it sounded like; at Brownies as well as Brown Owl there was a Tawny Owl, only DD always referred to her as Tony Owl - used to make us laugh!

ds was trying to get out of going to bed the other day, he burst into loud sobs. I knew they weren't real so carried him upstairs regardless and tickled him on the way up. He immediatly lifted his (dry) face from my shoulder and began chatting. "you weren't really crying" I told him, "But I'm crying inside" he said back.
Clever little man, he still went to bed though

My friend took her dd (3) to the loo at a pub one day. While washing her hands, little girl turned to the lady at the next washbasin (complete stranger of course) and said

"Do you have a hairy bottom like my mummy?"

My ds (3.5) knocked over my cup of tea yesterday.

He shouted "OH BRUDDY HOLE"

DH looked poitedly at me and said "I wonder where he learned that "

Easy - I hope she mean 'front' bottom

eefs - I had similar tears from my boy recently. Then he said "You must say sorry to me, becasue I'm crying Mummy". So I said, "No, you are not crying, A*, you are whining.". So he looked at me and said, "Well, I'm TRYING to cry, Mummy"

Doesn't work like that, child....

that is very funny oakmaiden. my son just blows bubbles at the moment - cant wait for these kind of things

I made the miskate of saying "Which bit of No do you not understand?" to ds (4) a while ago after he repeatedly asked for something or other.

So cut to the next day, ds being v difficult and I sent him to his room - "No", me saying "NOW" and, well you can imagine the outcome...."Mummy, which bit of no do you not understand?" I couldn't help laughing - so sweet.

Some of these made laugh out loud, so thanks for that. Marina, I wish I knew what they were on too

DH has just left to play golf (after being away all yesterday/last night golfing & drinking but that's another story). DS2 was standing on our front step watching him leave, utterly distraught and crying...

DS2 : Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! I want daddy!
Me: Would you like a chocolate biscuit?
DS2: Yes!

Tears stop. Can't wait for DH to get home so I can tell him how easily he was replaced in DS2s affections!