The things kids say

[Ailsa]

Having recently had my eyes tested and bought some new glasses, the first time I wore them dd (age 7 yrs) announced that they are ugly and they make my face look ugly!

A week or so later, I was sat on the sofa helping ds (age 4 yrs) get ready for school, the conversation as as follows,

ds: "Mummy, your glasses make you look ugly"
me: "Oh!"
ds: "Only joking!"

Anyone else got any gems?

DS1 (3.4) tonight said "Mummy you've got a nipple on your back!" as he felt the back of my bra strap through my t-shirt....

(Only matched at the weekend, when we went to (very open & echoey) National Trust loos..."Mummy, my willy's still little, but Daddy says if I eats all my peas it will grow to be as big as his one day......"
(Who am I to argue/complain??)

One of dd's 6 year old friends was talking to me about his willy. "I call it a cornflake because it's soggy and it looks like a cornflake. It's for making babies though". !!!!!!

my ds(5) and his songs lyrics bill and ben the powerpuff giiiiirls from home & away i couldnt spend another minute living my life without your willy
and queens song
we will,we will smack you!!
(i swear he`s not agressive)

My ds aged 3.5 has started bragging already.

Told to my sil last weekend.

My mummy has got bigger tits than you hasn't she?

I just wish that everyone had not roared with laughter, he now thinks its funny and obsessed with them now. (typical man, although starting a little early).

Sorry Breeze but I'm in hysterics at the moment.

LOL Everyone !!! I love this thread!

dh's boss' ds - 18mths shouted out of car window after boss was cut up in traffic - "bruddy woman, that was a bruddy woman wasn't it mummy?"

I was on a foetal monitor and dd was listening (aged 3 and a bit). The midwife was very nice and said, 'Do you think it sounds like a train or a horsey?' to which dd replied 'sounds like a heart beat to me' and gave the poor midwife a very dismissive look.

Ds's first words were all aircraft oriented. The second being helicopter. Sadly he pronounced it 'air cock'. Boy, was I glad when that one stopped!

For some time my sister didn't get proper wardrobes in her house, and kept most of her clothes hanging on a rail in the spare bedroom.

while we were staying there one weekend, by ds (then nearly 3) asked why we were sleeping in the dry cleaners !!!

Sister has now installed some smart fitted wardrobes

Having watched Toy Story 2, DD went around saying "I am Bugs Life Year. I come in bees".

Staying at a B & B, having breakfast with 2 other families in the dining room with us, and everyone eating in silence, DD suddenly glances up at china doll collection on shelves and announces loudly "dolly got a hard on" - God we nearly died, and she kept saying it, getting more and more excited. We finally realised she meant "hood".

Oh, and she told her teacher and everyone else at school that we are terrorists. Me, dh and her. She was very proud of this, although the teacher was somewhat baffled. When I quizzed her she said "well, we live in a terrace".

Having watched Toy Story 2, DD went around saying "I am Bugs Life Year. I come in bees".

Staying at a B & B, having breakfast with 2 other families in the dining room with us, and everyone eating in silence, DD suddenly glances up at china doll collection on shelves and announces loudly "dolly got a hard on" - God we nearly died, and she kept saying it, getting more and more excited. We finally realised she meant "hood".

my daughter (5) watched me get into the shower the other day. I'm 6 months pregnant. She shouted "mummy, your nipples are ENORMOUS. Is that because the baby's arms are sticking into them?"

I don't think they are THAT enormous...

wilshirelass - LOL

The other day, I told ds to mind 'that little girl', when at the swings. She replied, 'I'm not little, I'm 4.'

My DS1 has been going about shouting "You're a Fukkkka" at the top of his voice. Obviously we are horrified and when we asked him where he heard it he said that he made it up in his room. Have just tried to ignore it in the hope he will forget but he has started to shout it when we have friends round!

Demented, my DS1 used to do something similar.
Whenever he was throwing a something instead of saying 'chuck it' he'd say, well mostly shout 'f*ck it' it was soooo clear in I was mortified as everyone thought he really was saying the real thing.

While the local elections were on a couple of weeks ago, dd1 asked me if the signs in some people's front gardens saying "labour" had been put there to let the midwives know which houses to visit.
I think this may be because she is absolutely obsessed with watching Discovery Health - especially the "babies being born" programmes

my youngest whilst palying in the park came ovar and said ' I know why you're heavy mummy...so you don't blow over in the wind'

DD says to Grandma 'Grandma you have an ENOURMOUS bottom'!!!

When my partner broke wind in bed the other day my two year old said 'daddy's bottom just sang'

i put a suit on today for work - for a change and my daughter said " you look nice mummy are you going for another job interview"!!

DD1 (aged 10) has her first boyfriend - not proper boyfriend, but she likes to call him that. She hadn't heard from him for a while and asked my mum last Wednesday to phone him to see if she had been dumped. My mum declined the offer so DD1 said "I thought I had the heart of a lion, but I have actually got the heart of a dandylion".

At the weekend, same DD1 said to me that if I ever wanted to snog a boyfriend (if I ever have one) it would be fine to do it in front of her as her dad and Tracie (his girlfriend) do! Bit too much information there I think.

Ds stayed at my parents this weekend and told my dad in morning, when he said he needed beauty sleep, that nanny is beautiful so she can get up but grandad needs more sleep.......lol

Oh dear, Oh dear, Oh dear !! - 2.5 yr old dd said to me just now "Mummy - I want to bugger off now please !" - meaning she wanted to go to bed !

Wherever has she got that from ???