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Original poster

The things kids say

323 replies

Ailsa · 04/01/2002 00:02

Having recently had my eyes tested and bought some new glasses, the first time I wore them dd (age 7 yrs) announced that they are ugly and they make my face look ugly!

A week or so later, I was sat on the sofa helping ds (age 4 yrs) get ready for school, the conversation as as follows,

ds: "Mummy, your glasses make you look ugly"
me: "Oh!"
ds: "Only joking!"

Anyone else got any gems?

OP posts:
JacquiKD · 11/01/2002 16:45

Before Christmas, my son's nursery were discussing Jesus, etc.

They were talking about where Jesus was born, and my son put up his hand.

When the teacher asked if he knew the answer, my dear son said, "B... B... Birmingham".

JacquiKD · 11/01/2002 16:48

Just after my son was born, I had my hair cut from below shoulder length to a number 3 skinhead! (I wouldn't to it again - must have been my hormones).

When my daughter saw my hair, she turned round and said to me "mum, I like your face, but I don't like your hair".

JacquiKD · 11/01/2002 16:50

Just after my daughter was born 11 weeks ago, my son (4 and a half years old) was not impressed and said he would rather have had a playstation (needless to say, he got one for Christmas).

My son's name is DAniEl but when the baby was born, we changed his name to DEniAl as he was in total denial about the baby. If anyone asked if his mummy had had the baby, he would say "no" even though I had.

When she used to cry, Daniel used to say "mum, YOUR baby is crying".

11 weeks on, he thinks the world of her and is so loving towards her.

ChanelNo5 · 11/01/2002 18:11

Jacquikd - Glad to see you've kept your sense of humour despite all that is going on in your life at the moment. Good on you!

Original poster
Ailsa · 13/01/2002 17:09

We've just had the head lice thing, ds can't remember what they're called and keeps asking if he's got ants in his hair.

OP posts:
star · 20/06/2002 16:10

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Fionn · 20/06/2002 18:09

My 3 year old announced to my dad in the supermarket (much to the cashier's amusement) "Mummy went through two red lights, lucky there were no policeman" but I didn't, honest!

Marina · 20/06/2002 18:36

LOL, Star. HOW old is he?

jenny2998 · 20/06/2002 22:34

My son's friend used to have a "Thomas the Tank-Chicken." V sweet!

Last week my son (3 3/4)b fell over, my mum was closest so went to pick him up and see if he was ok, he was fine and asked her to "Leave me in peace." We all cracked up, so funny.

star · 20/06/2002 22:40

This reply has been deleted

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monkey · 21/06/2002 08:54

ds ( not yet 3) was fidgetting and couldn't get comfortable trying to play with his train set. After about 5 minutes of trying to sit still he annonced in a really bright voice - I know mummy, why don't I sit in the tracks and look at how lovely you are!

Detta · 21/06/2002 11:31

When my daughter was 2 she used to sing "Hot Cross Buns" and always made me laugh when she came to the line "if you have no tortoise, give them to your sons"!

Jbr · 22/06/2002 21:54

There's a bakery a few miles away, and when my son was only 3 he read the sign on the front of the shop. "For bread and cakes like mother makes". (How sexist is that?!). Anyway, Jack read it out loud and then said "God, I hope not, they won't sell very many".

I was dumbfounded. He's right of course, if they do makes cakes like mine, they'll go out of business!

XAusted · 22/06/2002 22:19

My 3 year old ds also refers to headlice as ants. When I treated him for them and told him they were dead my dd asked if the ants were now in heaven!

DD aged 5 took off her socks the other day so she could have bare feet. "I want spare feet too!" said ds.

jenny2998 · 23/06/2002 22:51

Yesterday my little boy said "You're the beautifullest Mymmy in the world...No, you're not the beautifullest Mummy in the world, but I love you"

Enid · 08/07/2002 14:20

Dd was getting very frustrated as she couldn't find her baby doll's 'whistle'. I didn't know what she meant and kept offering dd's Thomas Tank Engine whistle, sending dd into choking rage and frustration.

Just worked out that she meant her baby doll's dummy

PamT · 08/07/2002 14:23

My DS has renamed the washing bin as the 'dirty women basket', meaning linen of course. I didn't know whether I should be insulted, especially when he added "are you a dirty woman?"

Azzie · 08/07/2002 14:37

MIL to dd (aged 2.5):"Your brother's got blue eyes like Mummy, and you've got Daddy's eyes."

Dd (with great indignation): "No I haven't, I've got my own eyes!"

Rara · 12/08/2002 23:13

Don't know whether this is appropriate, but it's so funny I had to repeat it here.
My friend just emailed me to say that her dd who's 2 and a half is following her everywhere at the moment. My mate was in the loo, trying to change her soiled pantypad when her dd came in, looked at it and said "Bacon, mummy?"

batey · 14/08/2002 20:08

A few recent ones! A friends dd returned from a pirate and princess party saying " Yo Ho mi'parties"!

My godson calls paw prints "paw pants"!

When discussing with my dd about a holiday on a boat called Owl, she ran to dh saying "Daddy, we're going on a boat called owl, there's no owls on it but there are bunk beds!" What goes through their minds?!

PamT · 14/08/2002 20:59

Can anyone remember 'Whacky Races' with Dick Dastardly and Mutley? I used to love Penelope Pitstop as a child but my Mum had to try to keep a straight face everytime I called her Penelope Pissed Off (sorry for the language, I said it quite innocently when I was 5).

jenny2998 · 14/08/2002 22:50

lol pamt i used to love that program

ionesmum · 14/08/2002 22:55

PamT, dh watches Wacky Races when he gets in from the pub. Makes your comment v. apt!

mollipops · 15/08/2002 10:15

Lol PamT I remember that one!

Yesterday my ds (3) told me he is going to be a farmer when he grows up and he would "buy lots of milk for my cows"! Ah yes he is a city kid!

And dd (5) saw about a dozen cyclists at the traffic lights, all dressed in their colourful cycling gear and she cried out "It's a fashion parade for bikes!"

PamT · 15/08/2002 10:29

After hearing DH swearing, DS2 started repeating what he thought was b***ks but it came out as 'dollops' which I couldn't get cross about because it sounded so funny.