Autism...?

[Hawkmoon269]

It's very important that I start by saying that I'm not trying to upset anyone or cause any offence. Please don't read anything into my question that's not there!

But aibu to not understand why so many people on mn seem to have children who are autistic or on the autistic spectrum?

I have 2 (young) children. One is at a large state primary school. Neither have any friends or classmates who are autistic. None of our family friends are. None of my dc's friend's siblings are. We go to lots of groups (all inclusive things ) and no autistic children (or siblings that I know of). In my student days I nannied for a boy with aspergers. That's it - my sum total of people I know/ have met with children affected.

I've met lots of children with other sn, but it feels like on mn every other poster has a child on the autistic spectrum.

As I understand it, the definition isn't too clear with very high functioning autism (ie people "on the scale" but only just. That was my understanding from about 10 years ago - I'm sure research has moved on since then!

Anyway, not trying to be controversial - just genuinely curious. What do you think?

what on earth can people say to that one?

a weird question.

because the SN section of MN is very supportive and accepting of posters with 1st hand experience of ASD

You wouldn't necessarily know if your child's classmates are autistic though

It's not always common knowledge or even noticeable to anyone else

I am often surprised too at the amount of posters who have kids with SN, not just on here but on other internet forums too.

A lot of people google ASD and up pops Mumsnet. Its a great source of personal and practical advice on the SN board

unchartered but I've never been on the sn section...

it isn't sectioned off you know, we are allowed on other parts of the site

You probably wouldn't know my DS had AS if you met him.
I wouldn't try and base your understanding of something just based on your own personal experience.

the UK diagnosis rate is now at 1 in 64, I believe.

I would find it extraordinary if, over the next couple of years, your children do not encounter other children on the spectrum while at school.

You may not, of course, know that the children are on the spectrum - autism is an invisible disability, after all. It is perfectly clear that my dd1 has some developmental delays (she is nearly 8, and functions at around a 3/4 year old level), but it is not necessarily perfectly obvious that she is autistic.

My dd2 hovers around the very high functioning end of the spectrum - a fine line for her between AS and NT. but i doubt you would pick up on any of her issues - she would baffle a lot of experts too.

worra that's true. But I know my child's classmates pretty well. If they had asd surely I'd notice something different about them? I have had most of the class to play at playdates, in the park with other parents, have helped in school regularly. And I haven't noticed anything.

They let us out

I know one autistic child and one with aspergers. I also know a few, you know, black people and stuff

Hope this helps.

I was just thinking this - it is sometimes as if every other poster has a child with autism! But I think it is just very tough for parents so they seek support from forums :)

Because people with children with additional needs seek out others for mutual support?

My children both have autism. My youngest son was the only severely autistic child in his whole school. (primary) my eldest is one of perhaps half a dozen at his secondary school. In real life, I know one other parent to say hello to who has a child with a diagnosis of autism. I have met a further few through mumsnet.

I went on the net in search of other people. So it is no surprise that others have done the same and we have all met here.

If you were to get a map of the UK and have us all stick a pin in where we are, you'd see that there aren't actually that many of us and we are scattered all over the place.

unchartered sorry - I meant that people refer to their dc being asd while posting about unrelated stuff. Of course if people use the sn boards they'll use all the other bits of mn they like too. No offence meant

tiggy that makes sense. Thank you!

why don't you ask on a thread where you see that happen then?

genuine question btw

I don't know anyone who home educates or who doesn't give vaccines but there are plenty of examples of families who make those choices on here.

I don't think MN necessarily provides an accurate cross section of society. Perhaps those who fall into such groups come here because they know they will get plenty of support.

I suppose it also depends on how big the Primary school is.

My DS's Primary has nearly 900 children

My friend is a Head teacher at a rural primary and there are only 60 children in the entire school.

Because the sn boards on mn are very supportive and many parents use mn. I have 2 kids, one with asd and one without. I hadnt met many asd children until my own son was diagnosed with asd aged 3.5. I think the current dx rate in the uk is 1 in 100, but getting smaller i think. Going on that stat your dc will no doubt attend school with children who have asd, although you may not know it. There will no doubt be people you know who have asd children in their family, but they may not have told you. although you may not mean to cause offence this thread could easily become offensive

It generally isn't unrelated though.

I find I usually feel I should mention ASD when I describe my nearly 6 year old DD doing things that a toddler should do.

Or not sleeping, like a baby

I agree with dietstarts, this thread could easily become offensive if you say things like "why do people mention their childs ASD when posting about unrelated stuff".

Should people not mention it? Do you think they are mentioning it to get attention? Do you think we are making it up?

As I understand it, the definition isn't too clear with very high functioning autism (ie people "on the scale" but only just

No.

High functioning means they don't have a learning difficulty too and that they are verbal.

Why are there so many of us here on MN? Maybe because as others have suggested we joined when searching for something autism related and liked it so much we stayed and yes we are allowed to post on the whole site not just SNs

I have to say though that I detected something else in your 'question'

you know OP, I expect most of my child's classmates don't think they're in a class with an autistic child either. the vast majority of parents don't know that my son is autistic

we don't tend to go around broadcasting it you see?

I would wager that you know a lot more children who are on the spectrum, you just don't know it.

I also think that places like this give people with autistic children (or kids with any other problem really) a place where we can talk about it, which is why it may appear as though there is a high proportion.

then again, MN has hundreds of thousands of users... i rather suspect that the ones who have autistic children are probably a tiny minority of that

My DS is autistic but he doesn't know, and I haven't told any of his friends or his friend's parents. He may well be in your school.

IMO Autism is sometimes easier to diagnose the older a child gets. So if your school age child is relatively young, you may well find there are children who will be diagnosed later on.

And if the rate is 1 in 64, then in a one form entry school, there is likely to be a child every 2 years, or 3-4 children in a school. Hence parents of austitic children wanting/needing to seek the experience, support and guidance of a wider range.