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Things you shouldn't say to another mum you have only just met

258 replies

emkana · 15/01/2006 19:32

"I have just gone back to work after four years as a SAHM, about time, too, your brain just goes soft when you're at home all the time."

Said this mum at a b/day party to my friend and me... my friend has been a SAHM for seven years, me for nearly five years, we both have no immediate plans to return to work.
We didn't really take offence, I just thought it was funny, there are just some things I wouldn't say if I wasn't sure about the cirumstances of the people I was talking to.

OP posts:
Skribble · 17/01/2006 23:18

"Did you have him yourself?"
"No the woman in the next bed gave birth for me!"

"Did you feed him yourself?"
"No the window cleaner comes in and does it for me!"

Meanoldmummy · 17/01/2006 23:21

lol at Skribble

ThePrisoner · 18/01/2006 00:54

Mad lady looking at my very identical twin girls at 10months of age, both dressed in girly pink (non-identical) dresses ... "oh, aren't you lucky, one of each ..."

eemie · 18/01/2006 01:01

SnowMangeliz - Horrible comment I know, but I got the same from a colleague who was a psychiatrist fgs - (oh there's no need to mention your pregnancy to management yet, you may very well lose it) though when I did lose the baby she was very sympathetic.

nickiey, I was always agonised by the question 'is this your first baby?' because if I said 'yes' it would be so disloyal to the baby I had lost, and if I said 'no' I would have to explain to people I didn't really want to talk to. Different with your Nan, I know, you can make some allowances, but my sisters were a bit the same - once I had a live child, the past was all forgotten for them. I remember one conversation with my sister when I said I could tell straight away I was pregnant before I did a test and she said 'it's like that with the second' and I said 'em, actually it's the fourth'

peachyclair your response was temperate, I reckon if you had throttled her it would've been justifiable homicide

eidsvold · 18/01/2006 01:13

midwife - when annoyed at my reluctance to give birth in hospital near where I worked... "well with hips like yours you wont have time to worry about where you are giving birth.."

obstetric registrar - 'how do you know dd1 has down syndrome?" Yeh - like I have spent the last two years of my life going to therapy etc for the fun of it... I just thought I would make up a story about my child having down syndrome as I miss the excitement of work !!

Best..

After finally getting dd1 home from SCBU - had to pop to tescos - dd1 hada nasal gastric tube in...

tesco checkout old hag - looks at dd1, screws up her nose and says " errrrrrrr, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww. what's that?"

eidsvold · 18/01/2006 01:16

ohhhh we did have a no of people express surprise and one stunned that we were having another babe after dd1 was born with down syndrome and a congenital heart defect.... like we did not pass the 'test' and so were not allowed to procreate further......

SauerKraut · 18/01/2006 07:48

MIL at news of my 4th pregnancy and her 4th grandchild- "you've made your bed, you can lie on it"! And to dh- "you mean SHE wanted a 4th"! As if I'd tricked him into it!!

LeahE · 18/01/2006 08:22

Did anyone see the Telegraph headline yesterday - "Second child for happy Browns" or something like that. It's not as if it's not a matter of public record that this is their third child. Grrr.

Bouj · 18/01/2006 09:05

From my FIL, when he saw ds for the first time (1 day old) 'oh shame, looks like he's going to be a blood nut then'. I do have auburn hair. Hate that this is the comment that sticks in my mind!

homemama · 18/01/2006 10:10

Leah, I think they must of felt that too, cause later he was saying about it being their third time. He said Jenifer had been an inspiration and was still very much part of their lives!

slackstockmistress · 18/01/2006 10:27

Midwives are special, aren't they? I remember when DS2 was in the SCBU for a couple of days after an emergency cs. I hormonally asked the midwife if everything was going to be ok, hoping for a bit of motherly reassurance. What I got was ' well, there's always a risk of brain damage. And you might have trouble bonding.' Everything was fine, btw.

bec082 · 18/01/2006 10:34

My MIL informed me when she first met DS that she didnt want him to be blonde, as she doesn't like blonde kids (he wasn't then, but is now)
Im blonde and it's completely natural.
She also said when DS was almost four months old 'are you STILL breastfeeding him?'
What was I suppose to be feeding him? steak and veges?

OldieMum · 18/01/2006 11:22
  1. Nurse, about eight hours after DD's birth, when I lay holding her, rather than putting her in the cot - "She needs to learn the parameters."
  1. Work colleague, when I returned from maternity leave "Oh, you're back from your holiday then."
PeachyClair · 18/01/2006 11:57

I ahd this one too (a funny one) when out with ds1 (aged 14 months) and ds2 (aged one month)...

'are they twins?'

I know Sam was small, but goodness!! He was walking besides me too, not in the trolley (he walked at ten months), ds2 wasn't exactly huge- 6 11 IIRC.

PMSL.

HRHQueenOfQuelNoel · 18/01/2006 12:00

after that wonderful one early from someone's DH to her got to add this one DH said this morning.

me - very excited and jumping up and down: "I've lost another pound - I'm so happy"

him - "so why are you excited, surely you need it to buy milk or something".......

In his defence he had just got out of bed LOL.

Lizzylou · 18/01/2006 12:10

Both from SIL (expert in still appearing "nice" whilst being total bitch)...
"You are so much more relaxed with DS than anyone ever thought you'd be"
When I said that motherhood was very hard and tiring...
"Yes, I suppose it's like a fulltime job" ...FWIW I worked c. 55hours+ pw pre-DS and she does 31 hours per week...just was mifed that I was only going back part time!

Bugsy2 · 18/01/2006 12:21

laugh out loud at the book of "children's prayers" and ask "so, who's the religious fanatic then?" - when the mother is actually a "born again"!!!!!

NomDePlume · 18/01/2006 12:23

PMSL Bugsy !!!

SnowmAngeliz · 18/01/2006 12:24

At dd1's Christening her stupid twat of a tosser boyfriend said, "God can they not put some music on it's more like a wake than a Christening!".

Sister took it upon herself to tell me smirking

catkin · 18/01/2006 12:43

My husbands grandmother said to him very very loudly (she is deaf as a post and shouts all the time), whilst she was visiting us for the first time in the maternity ward 'Oh dear, you must be very dissapointed that she didn't produce a boy for you!' (He obviously loves his dd and did from the very start!)

Needless to say I am not that thrilled with her similar predictions and comments about this pregnancy so far!!

Tasa · 18/01/2006 12:45

another one about an insensitive Mother - day after ds was born by cs- she visited me in hospital and kepy eying my tummy. Eventually I asked her what she was staring at and she leant forward and patted my tummy and said" are you wearing padding?" Yes Mum after being pregnant for ten months I'm dressing up as a pregnant woman, she also said in front of dh and his family - oh he's got poor McLean hair (their surname)
My sister was visited by her best friend's sister home on a fleeting visit form Hong Honk with her new boyfriend. Best frien'd sister had failed to tell new boyfriend that her two year old had down's syndrome and trying to make a good impression on everyone he leant down and said you've got the most beautiful oriental looking eyes...he repeated it about 20 times.

fenny1 · 18/01/2006 13:41

My friend who is 27 weeks was lost for words when a colleague commented 'you're getting bigger by the week!'

chipmonkey · 18/01/2006 16:26

"Do you have a death wish?"
On telling someone that I use cloth nappies! Still using them one year on and still alive!

summerwood · 18/01/2006 20:41

When i was 5 months pg with my daughter when i told someone i was pg,where's your bump then! Made me paranoid and scared that my baby was too small,i rang midwife she came to see me,measured my bump and all was fine.

KenningtonKitty · 18/01/2006 21:19

A Friend after having second baby:

"How on earth do you two manage to produce such attractive children ?!!!"

Wasn't offended just thought it was funny!

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