Things you shouldn't say to another mum you have only just met

[emkana]

"I have just gone back to work after four years as a SAHM, about time, too, your brain just goes soft when you're at home all the time."

Said this mum at a b/day party to my friend and me... my friend has been a SAHM for seven years, me for nearly five years, we both have no immediate plans to return to work.
We didn't really take offence, I just thought it was funny, there are just some things I wouldn't say if I wasn't sure about the cirumstances of the people I was talking to.

Here's my latest contribution - conversation that happened today.

My boys are Tafara (Taf/Taffy for short) and Tongai - both Zimbabwean names, and names I'm very proud of as I feel it 'embodies' (if that's the right word??) their Zimbabwean heritage.

At Toddler Church today (we have a little 'service' in the church, and then go to the hall for biscuits, squash and play) the following conversation happened.

ME TO DS2: "Taffy, sorry Tongai" (always getting their names mixed up )

WOMAN WHO'S ONLY BEENN A FEW TIMES BEFORE: "Hahahaha, Taffy is he Welsh"

ME: "No that's his brother's name, short for Tafara, a Zimbabwean name"

HER: "Oh no, hahahaha, all Taffy's are Welsh, and that's a funny name"

ME: "I know it's a common term for the Welsh but it's a common shortening for his name in Zimbabwe"

HER: "All Welsh are Taffy's too" (bear in mind she doesn't know me well - and my name is Gwen a Welsh name - but not a drop of Welsh in me.....)

ME: "Well in this instance he's definitely not Welsh and neither is his brother"

HER (Muttering as she walks off): "Must be Welsh, they're all Taffy's"

What beautiful names

And what an ignorant sow

My Mum a week after giving birth to twins,"You can't just let yourself go now,just because you've got 2 babies to look after."

when i went into labour told ex who had left 2 weeks earlier and he told me dont push until they tell you to - he knew all about childbirth from watching casualty!

after 2 years he finally has regular visits always ends each one with i dont know what you moan about she is really easy to look after - yeah for 2 hours!! next visit i feed her the e numbers first!!

he saw her for the first time when she was 6 weeks old i have no family to help me and all he could say was god you are looking rough and the house could do with a clean!

my mum constantly tells me she behaves fine for her so it must be something i am doing wrong!

No..she just likes and trusts you more!!!! Sounds like she has good instincts!

You could always guve her some full-sugar jelly just before her next visit. And throw in some Skittles on top of it for good measure

nulnulcat, my 6yr old dd always plays up for me and my mum but for anyone of my friends she is an absolute angel and they dont believe me when I say what a cow she can be she just trusts you like meanoldmummy says !

Really enjoyed reading this thread.

My worst was upon returning to demanding job after DS1 was born and in a succession planning interview (which job you're lined up for next) my Director wrote 'used to be super-motivated but now has different priorities'!

Yeah, my next priority was screwing them for huge redundancy pay-out when I was 7 weeks pregnant with DS2!

While I was in labour with ds3, the MW said to me, let's just wheel you in for a cesarian, and then we can sterilize you straight away.
I didn't know what to say!
When dh came to visit me in hospital, the nurse "how did u manage to pull him, hope for me yet then"!!!!
How about "Your kids are so cute, they must look like their dad"
Old lady in shopping centre to ds3"Oh you poor wee thing, mummy making you go shopping", she then undid his straps, and tried to lift him out of the buggy! Mad old bat!

skinnypants - poor you, why are so many midwives and nurses such tactless cows! sounds to me like your dh is a lucky man to have you and your three lovely boys.

Discussing names with a mum I'd known for approx 5 minutes at my first playgroup session in a new country (scary system for PG here); I went chat, chat, chat, thought Henry James was a bit of a silly thing to call ds1 so went for James Henry (and then we actually changed it at the last minute to James Harry), chat, chat, chat, so what's your ds1 called ... Henry James X. She was quite cross. I probably would have been too but it did stop her making any ridiculous Harry Potter connection that people always seem to do.

My mother on receiving first picture of DD via e-mail (her first grandchild) "oh she looks fat and ginger!" How can anything that weighs 6lbs 3oz lok fat ffs?

I was having a coffee morning at my house, and there were four of five other mums there. Bearing in mind I've never worked since I've been married, as I had a honeymoon baby, I was gobsmacked to hear one of them saying, IN MY HOUSE, DRINKING MY COFFEE AND EATING MY HOME-MADE CAKES, with everyone else nodding,

'I think staying at home is just such a waste of time, you'd never get anything worthwhile done. I'm back off to work to start contributing to society as soon as I can'

I made sure they all got instant coffee and Tesco's value digestives next time they came.

On antenatal visit upon learning that I had an 11yo ds1 a midwife asked "oh, do they have different fathers?"
to which I replied "yes, of course, the large age gap is partly due to the middle one being dead!"

That shut her up. My excuse is that it was the 5th time I had been asked the question in 3 visits - makes you wonder what they take medical notes if they don't read them.

Oh, and I also get the, "never mind, perhaps you will have a girl next". Perhaps a good reply to this would be "oh, I don't know about that, at least I will still be able to get into the bathroom when they are teenagers"

not necessarily...

um....meant to say no, of course not!

I had a cs with dd (my 1st baby). I was really struggling with the pain and breastfeeding etc. On day 3 my community midwife swanned in as she happenned to be passing and tactlessly told me "You'll get the baby blues tomorrow".
When became pregnant with ds I changed my GP practice so I wouldn't have to see her again, the tactless bitch

I had a cs with dd (my 1st baby). I was really struggling with the pain and breastfeeding etc. On day 3 my community midwife swanned in as she happenned to be passing and tactlessly told me "You'll get the baby blues tomorrow".
When became pregnant with ds I changed my GP practice so I wouldn't have to see her again, the tactless bitch

After ds1 I went back to work full time (financially no option) an uncle said "don't know why they had bl**dy kids if they don't want to look after them"

11yrs later after ds3 and at home, same uncle said "that kid'll get no social skills being at home, and what a waste of her education and training"

Goes to show you just can't win.

Off topic, but interesting after reading some threads lately. My 2 boys are 10 years apart, worked with ds1, at home with ds3, but are so alike in both looks and sunny sociable characters, they could be twins. I personally have not found any difference nursery vs at home with my two, so 'nuts' to all the statistics!

some people are so insensitive and bloody stupid too, a friend of mine was feeding her dd1 when she was about 6 months old , a salesperson had called round and was rambling to her dp about double glazing when he stopped mid sentance turned to her and said "do you have to do that everyday ?" no just now and again when i can be bothered ??!!!!!!

some people are so insensitive and bloody stupid too, a friend of mine was feeding her dd1 when she was about 6 months old , a salesperson had called round and was rambling to her dp about double glazing when he stopped mid sentance turned to her and said "do you have to do that everyday ?" no just now and again when i can be bothered ??!!!!!!

I just can't believe that.

Oh, and I got asked once by another mum "cant you tell your child not to sneeze mear mine?" in a very haughty voice. DS1 was only 18mo at the time, and wouldn't have been able to sneeze to order even if he HAD been older and knew what I was saying.

I should have said "oh, you want me to pinch his nose all day then?"

I found out after that her little girl was IVF and had had some awful medical problems after she was born so the mum was forgiven.

it was nice of you to be able to let it go. We can all be paranoid at times big{{{{hug}}}} to you x

Hello everyone,

I've really enjoyed reading this thread today - but humourous as it is some of those people DO deserve a bit of a slap! Anyway, here's my contribution.

My brother is in the forces so didn't see my bump for real until I was 6 months pg.

HIM: Screws up face and says: "It just looks ODD. I can't get used to it. Its like you've got a beachball shoved up your jumper".

Later that same day...nods in direction of bump and says, "So, does that thing keep you awake at night then?"

ME: "That THING???? Excuse me! That THING is your new niece or nephew!!!" Humph!

Don't know why he's obviously so uncomfortable with my being pregnant but the "that thing" reference really upset me! Insenstive git or what though?! rolls eyes God knows what he'll come out with when he gets to meet my bambino in person! (ony 4 weeks to go!)